|Reviews for Sky Hooked|
| Guest chapter 2 . 5/23/2013
she is sooooooooooooooooo cool!
| BenJS chapter 2 . 10/21/2007
Hey, hows it going?
It's good to see an update for this one, since I've been wondering about the outcome for a while now - and you didn't dissappoint.
Gravity manipulation is a pretty cool choice for a power. I've read/heard about it before obviously but never with the body adapting to flight, or having the 'pull-effect', and since superhero stuff has become my new pokemon, so to speak, that just makes it all the more interesting.
Frankly my best guess for Erin's powers was turning into a bird, since just gliding wouldn't have been that efficient and non-assisted flight had been done. Of cause since she mentioned floating I new it couldn't be this, but still it's the best I could think of.
I like the whole pants falling off bit, since that generally isn't brought up or the logic is just ignored entirely. The blinking scene is definately my favourite so far, it's so embarrassing that you can't help but feel for the girl.
There are some mistakes here and there, though they don't distract much from the story itself. If you want I could go over it in detail when I have some more time.
It's kinda funny that you chose gravity powers actually. Recently I've been reading a story called Comic Book Hero at about a guy in the real world getting the power to fly through the manipulation of his own gravitational field. It's the most realistic story I've read (there's even a chapter of him doing experiments with it) and my favourite story at the moment and 100% original. (Firedrake, Century, and Power vs Power are also good)
Sorry, didn't mean to plug someone else's stuff there, but it just came to mind.
Anyway I'll be looking foward to whatever you post next. And good luck with uni.
| Coffee or Tea chapter 1 . 2/15/2006
I really like your story! You have great descriptions of events, and your story is very neat. But your OC's are a little bit confusing. I had to read the story twice to figure out exactly who everyone was! There were a lot of original characters and in some places it wasn't quite clear to me exactly who you were talking about. But other than that, I love your story and please update quickly!
| The Mad Tortoise chapter 1 . 2/13/2006
*looks around cautiously, then sidles into view*
Eh, well, I feel really quite stupid leaving a review on your story - student chatting back to the teacher and all that so I'll ask you not to laugh, please, and feel free to avert your gaze from what is to follow.
First and foremost, I reckon I need to state your story is awesome. Even though I'm probably missing a whole lot of references and connotations since I've yet to actually SEE the movie, I enjoyed this. It's not often that I read something just because of the author - but this was SO worth it.
Your characterisation and humour is stunning, as per usual, and you continue to weave into the general atmosphere the quirky brand of Aussie-ness that so defines your work and makes me laugh.
"How to wear your underpants on the outside in ten easy steps?"
Kinda sums it up, eh? Lovely. Which brings me to another little bit - Erin's excellent flaw. For a character who might be assumed (at first glance) to be a typical 'I don't wanna be here - so pity me' character mould, you've countered that superbly.
“Superhero’s aren’t meatheads you know. The world needs them.”
'Superhero's' where 'Superheroes' should be aside, that was a smooth and brilliant move to keep your character average. Only to be expected, coming from you. That's what I like about Erin - for all her snideness and 'superior moral judgements', you've made her clearly judgemental taken the 'superiority a step further to become a 'superiority complex'.
What else? Hm... probably I'll put my two cents in about the action sequence - as slick and uber as it was, it moved to fast for my sloppy-reader brain. Mebbe if you'd put that there was an actual hole when you said "The reinforced steel wall just in front of Scod was torn back and concertinaed as easily as can of sardines!" Or even just 'open' instead of 'back'. I reread that bit before it occurred to me that the bus wasn't just squished like an accordian, but fully ripped open. That helped to explain why people were suddenly falling out f the vehicle in various tragic ways. Just goes to show how slow my holiday-addled mind is functioning. (But the panic atmosphere was really well done - especialy "Anguished metal and children both screamed and shrieked and were tossed like a salad", "More children screamed, thin, trailing wails as a melee broke out in desperation" and "Hand clasped hand as those fortunate enough to be tangled safely in the bus seats pulled their friends after them". Smooth writing of slick action. And "Sacrifice the few to save the many" was simply chilling.)
Oh... with all the exclamation marks... personal pref, but I'd rather see the sentence italicised with a full stop. The exclamation marks just seem too suddenly perky at the end of the sentences. Maybe to make the whole sentence powerful instead of showing its force only at the end? Eh, that's just my impression.
"No hesitation. She flopped bodily over the back of the seat and dropped into the clouds." ... For a girl who supposedly can't fly, that's some stupidity. o.O At, though, the moment, I'm not sure if she actually CAN fly... "Being found dozing a metre above her mattress had merely set rolling a whole other set of connections that had probably lain dormant for a long time" was kinda ambiguous... was it Amber or Erin who had been levitating? (And the whole 'connections' was part really eptiomises what I was saying about your humour and characterisation. ) Anyway, the 'levitating' section coupled with the 'messages' about altitude, wind direction and rising thermals, I'm definitely thinking that Erin has 'connections' with the sky and the creatures in it. (lol - 'connections'!b *winces* I said 'lol', didn't I? My standards appear to be sinking...)
So yah, generally stunning, fantastic and funny. I'm not a fan of the swearing/'hell'/etc, but you already know I'm soft like that. Anyway - awesomeness.
Just a few suspect sentences:
"“Hey Jacko!”" Comma after 'Hey'?
"“They all kinda specialise in water, triple whammy, so you can see why I had over 30 sickies under my belt.”" '30' in place of 'thirty'? Eh, mebbe I'm picking this up cause of the Serebii influences. On the forums, they REALLY don't like numbers in place of words. Meh.
"That, that little Asian girl who was hiding under the seat!" Only one 'that' or am I missing a phrasing here?