|Reviews for Love in Ryugenzawa|
| Lady Relena chapter 3 . 2/13/2007
Oh I absolutely love it so far. I wonder which girl is going to end up with Shinnosuke? Either one would be really cute.
| The Gandhara chapter 3 . 4/24/2006
You're quite good at humor, however you need to work in your action and fighting scenes.
While I appreciate you using my depiction of Natsume's staff, you used it in a ver awkward way. Sometimes, it's not necessary to give details. Just say that she took out her staff and leave it at that. Those who have seen the OVA will know what it looks like, and those who haven't will imagine a normal battle staff, which is okay since the shape of the stakk isn't that important to describe Natsume's fighting.
If you're intent on describing something with a comparison, a little trick is making a character say it
| Archaia Fengari chapter 3 . 4/20/2006
lollollollollollollollol (ad finite or however it's spelled)
Maybe I should get a drink of water to cool down...
| Archaia Fengari chapter 2 . 4/20/2006
That was pretty short but I couldn't stop laughing!
| Archaia Fengari chapter 1 . 4/20/2006
Shinnosuke has very bad memory, please don't forget. And also did you know that the white fish cake thing with the pink swirls is called a naruto?
| Vensert chapter 3 . 4/19/2006
Well, this is a very new and fresh storyline, that's for sure. Your writing leaves some to be desired, but I really liked the last scene. Shinnosuke's grandpa was great!
| The Gandhara chapter 2 . 4/4/2006
Not bad, but there were several mistakes in spelling and punctuation.
| The Gandhara chapter 1 . 4/4/2006
The idea is very original, exploring lesser used characters. You've Kurumi's whiny personality perfectly portrayed as well.
If you allow unsigned reviews, more people will be able to leave you a comment.
Stop using all those parenthesis. They look bad. You don't need to put so many onomatopeia, and author notes must be put at the en or the beginning of a chapter, not in the middle.
Natsume's weapon is a staff, and by the shape of its end I say it resembles one of those things used to shake the dust out of mattresses. It probably looked like a whip to you because in manga and anime these things can bend to impossible limits. About their techniques, they only have one special technique. It's similar to the Hiryu Shoten Ha. Kurumi twirls her ribbon in an horizontal spiral and it emits a hot aura, then Natsume uses her staff to shoot a blast of cold air through the center of the spiral. The opponent is hit with an energy twister.
Finally, although I understand your intention of using the 'damsels in distress' scenario, either Natsume or Kurumi are strong enough to defeat an oversizen platipus, even one from Ryugenzawa, alone. It's a huge stretch of the imagination for readers to believe that one of those could defeat both. Next time, you should measure strengths more carefully.
| mdizzle chapter 1 . 4/4/2006
mutated duck lol
| demonslayer206 chapter 2 . 4/3/2006
Nice story so far, considering the ranma chars you chose to use in it and the setting. All I have to say on that is keep it up.
I also recall you asking in chapter 1 about the fighting style of the girls? I'm not sure if you watched the two OAV episodes or just saw segments of them, but this is what I know. The pair are known to be quite fast, so fast that Akane couldn't outrun them or defeat them on her own. In fact, the younger sibling practically inhales her food at a much faster rate then Picolet did against Ranma in volume 14 or 15, leaving no trace that the food was on the table or in a container. Their training focuses on the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts, their focus since Happosai rescued the pair when they were younger. However, they believed themselves to be daughters of Soun Tendo because of Happosai using that name and the pair believing that their real father, whom they haven't seen since they were infants, was the one that rescued them that day.
They are quite capable without the ribbon or whip that they use as weapons, easily having Ranma's evasion tactics against conventional attacks. Their weapons act like whips and can be used to swing them around or to just lash them up. They also have a special double attack which (I may be wrong here) is called the Dragon Twister, when both of them twirl their weapons in a conelike form and the elder sibling is in the middle of the younger one's ribbon. It unleashes a powerful ki attack which destroyed the left sleeve on Ranma's fighting clothes and managed to effectively disable her left arm in an attempt to protect Akane from the attack. That and the entire Dojo needed some repair from the attack blowing a hole in the wall.
Their technique was no match during the rematch, when Ranma combined a Hiryu Shoten Ha revised for Horizontal attack by using her cool ki against the heat of theirs. Although Ranma's counter strike was weaker than the Regular and modified Hiryu class attack he used on Herb, it was enough to push Akane in close and quickly enought to land a knockout blow as well as nullify the attack. That and nearly leveling the Tendo Dojo...
I hope that helps.
| MaRaMa-TSG chapter 1 . 2/22/2006
This one was better writen. I like how you interrupt speech with sounds to make it more real.
But here's a personal advice.
Don't write Read and review, we all know we should review and asking for it sounds a bit desperate. I don't really care about that but I've heard other people criticize it.