Reviews for The Undeserving
maryyorke chapter 1 . 1/14/2015
Brilliant. I love this line: "Nobody can earn control of somebody else's destiny."
Der Puppenmacher chapter 1 . 5/26/2014
Was he the wiseman? It would make sense timewise, though I doubt Serenity would be cruel enough to ban him to Nemesis. Who knows maybe she thinks he would prefer this. I love how you question the whole idea of Crystal Tokyo. I also believe that it is not the utopia it is portrayed to be. Too bad Serenity is still alive...
Ranko's Knight chapter 1 . 12/18/2012
loks interesting...
Yatengarasu chapter 1 . 4/28/2011
I absolutely adore this story. I wish there were more stories as well written as this about what the some of the more ordinary citizenry think of their Utopia. Very wonderful. And I was especially pleased that is was Usagi at the end. Because, although I empathize with what the would-be assassin feels, he doesn't understand the depth of the Senshis' sacrifice and Usagi's love either.

I especially loved those last two line:

"Perhaps she could still help him escape.

At least then one of them would be free."
JBubbles chapter 1 . 4/7/2011

"How can exist happiness without sadness?"

You made me think about Viviane, Lady of the Lake in Marion Zimmer Bradley's Mists of Avalon, how she died defending what she believed. You made me think about Fahrenheit 451, Ray Bradbury...

You made me sad and made me remember why things are the way they are. I liked it.

PS: the title was superb. He didn't deserve Crystal Tokyo? She and the others Senshi doesn't deserve the peace, albeit inhuman?
Accidentally The Whole Fanfic chapter 1 . 11/26/2010
Interesting story, although I found the would-be assassin to be a blind cynic who, ironically, was just as ignorant (to me) as he claimed others were. I don't know if that was the intent, but I definitely did get a rather self-absorbed vibe from him that read as "You don't truly live unless you've lived as I live, no exceptions", without considering the intent behind Serenity's motives.
shetan83 chapter 1 . 11/9/2010
Wow, a cynical take on Crystal Tokyo, but I liked it. Love your attention to detail. It's the little things that make the fic, such as the Senshi not daring to touch the Queen, or how sterile Crystal Tokyo is compared to the green of the Earth before. Well done.
Fatal Mars chapter 1 . 7/31/2009
I always wondered how 'perfect' crystal tokyo would be. I am glad it is not some utopia where everyone is so happy. I like this tiered resolve that is apparent throughout the story. I loved the 'she still loves you'. Classic.
xtonnerre chapter 1 . 7/13/2009
Just when I thought no story would top Oak Evolution, I find this. This was just as brillant. As much as i hated it, i understood the man. I'm so glad Serenity came before Jupiter could kill the guy. lmao. I just wanted to add that. it realy wouldn't have made things better. goodness i loved this story. your writing is honestly amazing.
Da Fox chapter 1 . 3/5/2009
Oh, that was brilliant. Truly, a great fic. My highest congratuations for this work.
SteelHeartRose chapter 1 . 11/9/2007
Quite sad, but a bit confusing.
spyder chapter 1 . 9/27/2007
Most of my favorite fanfics deal with a dystopian view of Crystal Tokyo. You've brought up many important issues dealing with Neo Queen Serenity's reign. I've always been skeptical of Usagi/Serenity's qualifications as a ruler.

In the beginning, I thought the traitor was Mamoru until this line: "If you'd seen the world as it was before," the warrior snapped in disgust, "you'd be more appreciative of Crystal Tokyo."

If I had an account, you would definitely be on my favorite author's list. Great work as always.
Andrew Joshua Talon chapter 1 . 5/15/2007
Thank you for writing this, for asking hard questions. Is pure bliss, utopia, worth giving up your freedom for? How can one know light without darkness?

How can one choose his or her God or belief, when self-proclaimed goddesses rule the world?

They are children... And they may yet grow up, or die with their fantasies.

Thank you again, for writing this.
Bin82501 chapter 1 . 8/27/2006
This is one of the most brilliant fics I've ever read. I'm a big fan of Usagi not Serenity or the mystical aspect of the entity that is Usagi. I was drawn to this story because of its focus on her humanity and mortality. My favorite line in this story is "Without sadness, what is happiness? Without struggle, how can we appreciate our rewards? A life where all is handed to us on a silver platter is not a life." The whole idea of a utopia, an idea of a Crystal Tokoyo as relayed in this story really makes you wonder if a utopia is really such a good thing. I do feel in a way the man that shot Usagi in a way helped release some of the burden of her perfect image. In a way by exposing her humanity, it exposes another ironic twist in her existence. When she was 14, she wanted to be a normal girl without the burden of being a savior but being shot, she was allowed to be human again. Great Job. I enjoy your writing.
willowsandgables chapter 1 . 7/25/2006
This ficlet is fantastic. Wow. I was completely emotionally drawn in, and blown away that the girl was Serenity. You really did humanize her in this fic, right down to the uneasy discomfort she obviously feels when hearing the man's reasons for shooting her and being able to empathize with realizing a perceived dream. How awful for both of them. I'm insanely curious as to who the man was since you implied he knew her personally, but I like it that we don't know. He raises some good questions that really make you wonder, just as they make Serenity wonder. Very thought-provoking. I'm really glad I found your stories - not only are they all well written and are a joy to read, but you make the reader ask questions and really think about what you've written. Well done!
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