|Reviews for Mary Sue in a Barrel|
| LotR chapter 1 . 7/7/2014
How she managed to do that and not strike a nerve, i will wonder for forever and a day.
| FreeTraderBeowolf chapter 1 . 6/16/2013
That was hilarious.
| fandommusings chapter 1 . 6/1/2013
LOL! Awesome job! I love it!
| lotrlover23 chapter 1 . 4/15/2013
This was funny! Thanks for the wonderful Mary-Sue bashing.
| AlexaGeorge chapter 1 . 3/30/2011
Haha! This is an epic win for all Mary-Sue haters! (aka, all good fanfic writers) Great job!
| Dead Composer chapter 1 . 8/18/2008
That'll show those *# $ Mary Sues.
| Silent Slytherin in the Shadow chapter 1 . 6/16/2008
lol, I get it now... That is pretty sad that they are all the same, and most likely never change. I at first thought it was going to really bash them but I see now how these marry-sues work. I am still a n00b with correctly writing fan fics but thanks for the little insight.
| Happy Acorn chapter 1 . 3/21/2008
If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all! You should really have your mouth cleaned with soap! How can you be so rude? Everyone starts out sometime, so quit acting so mean!
Ahem. Nice story, by the way. I'm sorry you got such an insulting, horrible review. :3
| Eveninrose chapter 1 . 11/1/2006
Great story! Gotta say, I always thought the barrel thing sounded more than uncomfortable. x3 I love King Thranduil's reaction. D Nice work!
I like that they poof when they all 'cry' to go home and that there are all the Mary Sues hoping to be saved from Legolas. He's probably terrified for his life and is holed up in his room somewhere. xD
| Lorendiac chapter 1 . 2/25/2006
I have actually read very few "Mary Sue" stories, and I don't think I've ever read a fairly "serious" one that's specifically set in Middle-Earth, where the author is indulging in shameless wish fulfillment (without meaning it as a big joke). But I have read a few parodies (sometimes set in Middle-Earth, or in Star Trek, or whatever) that are meant to make fun of other people's Mary Sue ideas.
I like your story. It was amusing to see Yemi providing some balance to Gigi's inflated ideas of her own importance and specifically calling her a "crazy Mary Sue." It was actually over faster than I expected. I was interested by the way Gigi correctly identified Mirkwood in Middle-Earth, and then leaped to the silly conclusion that most of the stuff in the LOTR must not have happened yet in this world and she could still get involved and change things around in the plot from the movies. Logically, there's NO reason for her to assume that-but of course that was probably her pet fantasy, and you labelled this story as "Humor" so I wasn't expecting the characters to be perfectly logical :)
I do have a question: You keep mentioning that Yemi is an "elfling." I'd be grateful if you defined that within your story. Just what is the difference between "elfling" and "elf"? Is it simply a matter of age? If J.R.R. Tolkien ever called any of his characters "elflings," then I have long since forgotten about it. (And maybe that's exactly what happened! I don't have a perfect memory, and it's been a heck of a long time since I last read LOTR all the way through.)
Although I like your story, I spotted some typoes as I went through. I made some notes, although I won't try to point out every single little nitpicking thing that caught my eye.
* She also hid her hair under her shoulder length hair. *
* "She also hid her ears under her shoulder-length hair." *
I believe "shoulder-length" is usually hyphenated to make it clear it's being treated as an adjective. And I'm guessing that you made a little typo and didn't really mean our heroine hides her hair underneath her hair, so I substituted "ears" as more likely in that context.
* She was tom boyish, *
"Tomboyish." "Tomboy" is a single word; no space in the middle.
* As Yemi stepped across the rift, so was Gigi, much to Yemi’s utter horror. *
I believe that should be "so did Gigi" instead of "so was."
* "Oh yes, an I shall be the hero and be the one to destroy the one ring. I’ll even get Borimer to still live," Yemi rolled her eyes.
"Gigi! You freak! You’re not an elf! You’re a crazy Mary Sue!" Gigi looked up at Yemi. *
When you put that part about Yemi at the end of the speech about saving Boromir, and then talk about Gigi's actions (looking at Yemi) at the end of the same paragraph that starts with the speech about being a crazy Mary Sue, it gives the impression that Yemi was the one talking about saving Boromir and that Gigi, a moment later, was the one saying "You're a crazy Mary Sue!" at the same time she looked at Yemi. In context, the way you've presented their characters, I know that isn't what you meant. But it can confuse the reader at first glance. (And there were one or two other little things in that passage that I would change.)
Here's the way I would suggest editing that:
* "Oh yes, and I shall be the hero and be the one to destroy the One Ring. I’ll even get Boromir to still live!"
Yemi rolled her eyes. "Gigi! You freak! You’re not an elf! You’re a crazy Mary Sue!"
Gigi looked up at Yemi. *
Then insert Gigi's next speech as part of the same paragraph that starts with "Gigi looked up at Yemi," so that the reader is alerted that this paragraph is focused on what Gigi is doing and what Gigi is saying.
There are similar cases elsewhere in this story where it's not crystal-clear who is actually speaking a particular line of dialogue, because you mention someone else's name (not the speaker) immediately after the quoted dialogue, in the same paragraph.
* "I hear by charge you with being a Mary Sue. *
"I hereby charge you." "Hereby" is its own word. I admit I thought this was funny, learning that the Elves have actually passed a law making it some sort of criminal offense to be a Mary Sue in their territory, and having a bunch of them in dungeon cells to keep them out of the way (or whatever the exact motive was). :)
It was also interesting to see that most Mary Sues can just wish themselves back home if they get fed up with the way they aren't treated like royalty in Middle-Earth. (How did they get to Middle-Earth in the first place? Just by wishing themselves there? Could they wish themselves back again after they've come up with a better plan? I admit I'm nitpicking when I ask this!) :)
| Hermione Vader chapter 1 . 2/20/2006
Very funny. The poor dwarves.