Reviews for Revelation
Anonymous chapter 1 . 6/18/2009
This story has a few grammar mistakes. (Although, what story doesn't?)

When you say: "It was about an hour later...", that should be a new paragraph. As well as "The next day at school..."

Also, when Emily speaks the first time, that should also be placed in a new paragraph.

Instead of saying: "Late last night", it would be better to say: "Late the night before."

After Casey speaks the first time, Emily's name shouldn't be written right after the diolague. This kind of thing gets confusing. Try putting the "Emily raised an eyebrow" infront of the dialogue on the next line.

And after she rejects the idea of Derek, the next line, assuming its said by her as well, should be right after the tag.

Hope I helped!
I'mJustWeird chapter 1 . 3/14/2008
continue please!
Shipmate chapter 1 . 6/19/2006
Good start, but if you do more chapters you should make them a little longer. w
memoirs of a faded memory chapter 1 . 4/7/2006
update!

Itll make me super duper happy

good job so far
anberzen chapter 1 . 3/31/2006
write more. write more. write more!
LolaMusicLover chapter 1 . 3/29/2006
this is good cant wait for the next chapter. oh and i went to ur page or whatever and it was soo cool what you wrote. i agree 100%. i definatly want to read more keep goin
bruisedpapaya chapter 1 . 3/19/2006
I've just decided to go read your stuff. Because I loved the last story I just read, okay interesting. I never really thought about Derek and Casey, but interesting none the less. Oh and by the way, I love most of your favorite music, just throwing that out there.
JenJen128 chapter 1 . 3/16/2006
This was a good story. I wish is was longer, but none the less, it was still great. Update plz!
Harpiebird chapter 1 . 3/6/2006
I like it so far! Please update soon!

-Steph
babyskybluex3 chapter 1 . 3/5/2006
very cute!
crejol chapter 1 . 3/4/2006
REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY

REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY

REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY

REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY

like it
Epitome of Bold chapter 1 . 2/28/2006
Good, update. Please.
Saun chapter 1 . 2/24/2006
OMG! I Like it... Alot! I think that they should be a couple... As creepy as that sounds, that's what I want. Please Update Soon!
megg chapter 1 . 2/24/2006
yes yes she does have a thing for derek!
Ghostwriter chapter 1 . 2/23/2006
Very awesome start. Just one thing: with Emily's crush on Derek, why would she be so casual about Casey being interested in him as well? Other than that, great job. Catch ya on the flip side.
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