|Reviews for Petrified Timeline|
| Frog-kun chapter 10 . 2/27/2009
I'm very much enjoying the story so far. I don't know where it's going to go but I do love the fighting scenes in it ;)
Just watch out a bit for your spelling. But... it gets better as the story progresses.
| Doom187 chapter 14 . 9/10/2008
pretty good story, was a bit uncertain at the beginning with all the character deaths but the story is pretty good some grammar slips here and there mostly it looks like you typed some words out of place, but that's not too bad.. I hope you update soon.
| Novalon chapter 13 . 4/17/2008
You and I have similar ideas about how Marle received her pendant. Of course, there are differences, but it's nice to see someone else having the same idea.
Of course, I won't claim that idea as my own, as it seems to be logical. It's good to see that you also have similar ideas as to how characters would react to certain situations. I also see that you are not afraid to drift from what is canon, though I should not consider that truly until I see the end of your story.
My only criticism is with the Lucca/Magus implication in the beginning. While I am not against such an idea (as is implied in my work), I feel that in a serious story like this, that some kind of history of the relationship should be elaborated upon. Magus did not simply fall for Lucca during the events of the game, many authors just wanted to pair her with someone that wasn't an amphibian, her childhood friend, or an automaton.
Despite all this, you should continue to refine this, for I see something amazing in the works, and I would hate to see it cut short.
| Kasienda chapter 12 . 12/18/2007
I'm very impressed with the amount of development you have put into your world here. You've created societies that have inklings of their own culture such as the ninja mercenaries and Noah's kingdom. I also like that your badguy is not completely evil - he seems to genuinely care about the people who serve him. I think this more realistic as no one is really evil for evil's own sake.
I like the interaction between Crono and Magus. I also like how Crono is quiet with lots of body language but not totally silent. It fits well. I do think that Magus tends to dominate your story. I don't know if this is intentional or not - in the beginning I felt it was supposed to be about both of them. It is really easy to let this happen just because Magus is a more developed character in game. But if this was not your intention you may want to bring Crono more to the forefront when they are together. Right now he seems like a sidekick for the most part. Whereas before he was the leader. When they are separated as apparently they are now this probably will not be a problem.
In a few of your earlier chapters Magus seems to have this amazing ability to sense danger or just when things are off kelter. And yet he doesn't really ever check things out or seem to follow it. He just dismisses the feeling. This doesn't really make sense because if his intuition has always been that accurate he would learn to trust it.
You do have lots of typos. Mostly just two letters that are transposed in words. A fine tooth proof reading would vastly improve the readibility of your story.
Overall, I really like it. Your story is complex and I can only guess as to where it may end up, but its not so complex that I can't follow all that's going on. I must admit I am partial to happy endings, but that's just me. Sometimes stories are more powerful if not everything turns out alright in the end.
I thought the trading of the pendants was touching. Best of luck with the rest of the story!
| xxApocalypsexx chapter 10 . 10/30/2007
Nice. The peices are falling into place. Good job on this fic, keep going.
| Mission316 chapter 3 . 10/19/2007
Aha! I'm starting to understand things now. My previous review doesn't really stand so much anymore. I still think that prologue needs to be changed, but you might want to add more information, not about the character's deaths, but why they were fighting Lavos. Of course, because I've played the game, I don't need all that, but imagine if you were reading with no previous knowledge whatsoever.
Anyway, that was a good chapter - it's the beginnings of everything, I guess. There were some confusing grammatical errors, but nothing egregious. I'll be back later
| Mission316 chapter 2 . 10/18/2007
Okay, so I didn't read the whole thing yet.
I must say you have an interesting premise. But (and you knew there would be a but) I have a suggestion which may help: you don't really need the first large chunk of the prologue. Well, maybe you do, but you don't need are dead. After all, you didn't really get into the character detail of the other six party members, so if I hadn't played the game before, I would have no feelings for them when they died. This is just my opinion, really (of course it is - since when did I become the fanfic authority?), but you might do better if you introduce the other characters through Chrono's memory of their deaths. But then, I haven't read your later chapters, so I don't know if you refer back to them at all.
Okay that was long-winded, but I hope it gets you thinking. (At least it gives you ideas, right?)
| Frog-kun chapter 8 . 9/8/2007
This is a marvellous story. I hate how you don't have many reviews. You should have at least as many reviews as chapters in my opinion.
My only complaint is that maybe the plot is slightly confusing. maybe you could clarify things to me. What I gathered is that there is some magician named Noah who is the bad guy. Maybe you plan to reveal more later on... I would have no idea.
I love the characterizations and the depth in this story. Faved!
| Daryl Falchion chapter 8 . 9/6/2007
Ohh, more? This just gets better and love it. The description and dialogue is smoother and the characterizations are getting spot on. I especially liked the ending line. ;P
| Daryl Falchion chapter 1 . 3/20/2006
A delightful, interesting story that is really starting to heat up. I'll be looking for more. :)
| Whispers of Darkness chapter 6 . 3/14/2006
Good work! :D