Reviews for Shadow Sickness
Inwe Nolatari chapter 6 . 4/5/2006
i am sorry to hear that someone you know has died, I know what it feels like, the same thing has happened to me this year...and he was a student...hope you feel better. Anyways, great job on the chapter, I thought it was pure brilliant! Keep up the great work and hope to read more very soon!
Lyn chapter 3 . 3/12/2006
Very interesting! I hope Elrond can help!

Just one suggestion:

“I would rather not anser this,”

ANSWER - This is one of those stupid English words

you have to memorize because the spelling

is weird! I usually try to remember it

by thinking, "AN' SWEAR at ANSWER" and

then think, anser, ANSWER. Okay. I know

that sounded dumb. Haha. _;
Lyn chapter 1 . 3/12/2006
Ah, children...I mean, elflings! _

Just a few suggestions:

his was do to a group comprised of four elflings.

I believe the word you want is "due" (as in, "due to" or

"because of")

his was due to a group comprised of four elflings.

TINY - meaning small. Pronounced TIE-knee

(Tinny is pronounced TIN-knee and means a sound that

is high pitched but flat and refers to music boxes

that used tin as the metal-the sound was not


“Hey, your one to talk, you have a crush on your brothers wife,” Tlatgorn spoke up.

I would put an exclamation point after "hey" and

replace "your one to talk" with the subject-verb

contraction, "you're" (which is pronounced the same).


“Hey! You're one to talk! You have a crush on your brother's wife,” Tlatgorn spoke up.

I also put an apostrophe after brother to show

possession, "brother's wife" as opposed to a simple

plural (two brothers).

I really enjoyed the conversation! You could perhaps

add words describing their facial expressions and

body movements to help the reader visualize the

scene. Anything that helps the reader to feel they

are actually THERE, within the scene, would help.

For example, 1) what would they SEE? 2) what would

they HEAR besides the voices? 3) would they SMELL

anything in this scene? 4) would they TOUCH anything?

5) would they have FEELINGS inside, or EMOTIONS of

any kind? Details help a lot.

This is a very good story! I encourage you to

keep writing.

If you have trouble selecting names for elves,

I think there is a page somewhere on the Internet

that provides elvin names. I'm sorry I don't know

where that is. m-_-m
Inwe Nolatari chapter 3 . 2/28/2006
who is the other elfinling?...DUN DUN DUN! lol...great job on the story, and hope to read more very soon!


wolenczak2004 chapter 2 . 2/27/2006
great chapter, please more soon.

take care

Inwe Nolatari chapter 2 . 2/26/2006
HHM...I wonder what lazy to figure it out...sorry! least I admit it! Great job and hope to read more soon!


Inwe Nolatari chapter 1 . 2/25/2006
Why does it always seem that something bad is going to happen in the first chapter...but they do a cliff hanger to keep up wondering and getting rather frustrated? It's not fair...though it is fun to do cliff's just annoying when OTHR people do up the great work and you do more soon! EXCELLENT!


Future Ruler of Japan,