Reviews for Neon Cognogenesis Omega
0ni chapter 3 . 8/29/2006
Interesting...story. I'll hold my judgement til i see more. Good writing and punctuation, yadda, yadda. Very interesting original story too. )
Alucard180 chapter 3 . 8/28/2006
i have been wanting for this to be updated, no to bad and the use of computer terms is a interesting touch,

update soon,
Ender0656 chapter 2 . 3/17/2006
Ho John,

I see that you traded excessive vocabulary for excessive technical jargon. Damn it why can’t you write like a normal person! j/k. Seriously though, everything is top notch as usual, the only thing I saw was this paragraph:

She cleared her throat lightly, and he complied. They stood a few feet away from one another, straining for a few moments to remember the events of a few seconds before, and trying to predict the events of a few seconds hence.

(Smells nice...


"When are you two going to stop staring at each other? It's creeping me out a bit." Both faces shot away, flushed in their private view, eyes flicking back to see the others' response.

"Now that's better. I was originally going to have Rei here brief you, but I now see that that's probably impossible. Plus, we're almost to the head office, and we have some extra info packets lying around somewhere in my cube I think.")

The scene switching was confusing because you took too long to inform the reader of where the characters were at.

“Remember, the enemy’s gate is down”

Ender Wiggin
Marine Brother Shran chapter 2 . 3/15/2006
whoa...where the hell did all that techno-talk come from. you must be really into computers if you are talking like that. this is goin to take some time for me to understand lol. but so long as there is some Shinji/Rei romance, i'm all good lol.

Cheers Ja ne
Genesis D. Rose chapter 2 . 3/15/2006
hm, deffinately different, not ban, I'll continue to keep my eye on it.
Ender0656 chapter 1 . 3/3/2006
Ho User, (it’s a greeting from a book, just go with it lol),

“Misato waited (un)patiently by the green phone” I don’t quite understand this.

You toned down the inserted Japanese. Good job. In regards to the question you asked me about placement of the translations in the story. I don’t believe that where the translation is matters. The reader still has to break concentration, scroll to the top of the screen and then find his place again. Like I said before it detracts from the fiction. Combine this with your almost omnipotent vocabulary and the reader has a hard time just making it through the story. Speaking of vocabulary, I would try and tone down how eloquent the character dialog is. The narrator can speak as educationally as he wishes but the characters should speak at the level of intelligence they currently possess. Other than that great job, so you’re going borrow some of my ideas about Rei? Can’t wait.

Remember, the enemy’s gate is down.

Ender Wiggin
Marine Brother Shran chapter 1 . 2/28/2006
Well this is showing promise. I'm already interested. I'll be keeping my eye on you, and you actually have a friend who dyed his or her hair blue? That's sounds kinda cool. Oddly enough, I found a mug shot of a person who died her hair blue, and red contacts. If you want, I could give you that picture. Well anyways, that's all from me

Cheers Ja ne
RahXephon chapter 1 . 2/28/2006
Confusing. Please don't publish half-finished chapters.
Genesis D. Rose chapter 1 . 2/28/2006
Not bad, not bad at all, wonder what shinji is going to be doing...
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