Reviews for The Transformation
A Devious Mind chapter 2 . 1/2/2011
Okay, as a beta-reader, I'm going to give you some serious criticizing. Take note that this isn't meant to be personal, just help you. First, I'm pretty sure that it's not spelled 'shite', it's spelled 'shit'. Second, that 'some guy' has a name, Pvt. Johan Strauss. Third, I think you need to add more detail to the story, along with calling marines by their names, not 'a guy'. Other than that, this story was pretty good, and I can't wait for the rest.

~Kingdom Key~
jozs001 chapter 2 . 8/5/2006
Continue please! I think the Medical facilities part where they made you into a cyborg was an awesome part!
Cpt.ShaneSchofield chapter 1 . 4/14/2006
There's just not enough detail, try making your chapters longer.
Tokay chapter 2 . 4/14/2006
*Thumbs up* Very nice work.
Tokay chapter 1 . 2/28/2006
It's nice, but I think that you should add a bit more detail to really capture the moment. That "some guy" was Strauss by the way, and it really bothered me how you described things like that using the word ‘some’ or ‘something’. Regardless, I look forward to more. :)