Reviews for Steel Valentine
PopTartAddict chapter 1 . 4/1/2006
This...was...so...deep!Wow, I LOVED this SO MUCH!You seemed to put a lot of though into this. It fits and floews perfectly, one though to another and back again. VERY nivley worded and done. Bravo!
Yeah this is deleted chapter 1 . 3/22/2006
Sorry I didn't get to review earlier. xD

VERY good story. I don't think Winry seems ooc.

And isn't Elycia spelled Elysia? xD I'm probably wrong...
Sassy Lil Scorpio chapter 1 . 3/16/2006
Hi Senshi...

I remember reading your summary of FMA and I read the first book based on the links you left in the forum (which I still have to respond to, I appreciate you explaining to me about FMA). So now I'm reading your fic! I will review as best as I can...

I don't know a lot about Winry or how she feels about Ed and Al, however, I do think you described it in detail enough so that even if I'm totally new to FMA (which I am) I can tell that there are tensions between the characters, especially Winry who fixes Al's automail suit and how she feels about Ed. She obviously feels a lot for both of them and there's this subtle note of guilt almost. It's as if she wishes she can change the past and give Al his body back, and Ed his missing limbs. She can fix automail, but she can't mend broken hearts...including her own. Thus she suffers with the loss of her parents...and you illustrated this really well with the paragraph about the loss one feels when they miss someone who has either gone away (died) or is no longer in your life for whatever reasons (they moved away, you are no longer friends, they're a former client who has gone on to do better things in their lives, but you miss the conversations you used to have.

I also like the "I want..." the three lines where Winry narrows down how she feels exactly. She seems to beat around the bush with what she really feels (this was my impression) and she finally got down to it: I want Ed. Good use of italics too.

I also enjoyed your comparison of steel..how it's not as strong as everyone thinks. Maybe that shows that Winry isn't as strong as she likes to think. After all, she can fix automail as a mechanic, but can she fix Ed? Al? Can she fix herself? Can anyone fix another person?

You do a great job in analyzing many things...and by giving FMA the depth it has, it adds to the enjoyment of the characters. And your writing flows very well-as always. I know if I was more familiar with FMA (I'm still an infant to the fandom) I could enjoy the fic more. This isn't to say that I didn't enjoy the fic-I did. The themes you touched on (love, friendship, fixing another person, fixing ourselves, etc) were well thought out and well-written. I need to read more issues online using the link you gave me. :)

You also use great metaphors. Here is my critique part of the review: although, there were times where I wondered: would someone think exactly like this? For example, would someone wax poetic about how they feel about someone? It's possible yes. But see, I'm not too familiar with Winry, so maybe she does. But do you know what I mean? Some parts sounded a bit formal, but as I said it *is* possible. Please don't take this to be harsh: as I said before your writing appears effortless and flows very well. I enjoyed what you wrote-and I hope you'll grace the KB section with more of your writing! Take care and I'll get to that post in the forum soon enough! :)
incense-whiskers chapter 1 . 3/5/2006
So sweet, and it really is true about how they act with each other. :)
June chapter 1 . 3/4/2006
This is beautiful.

Oh my God!

This reflects a portrait of Winry's inner thoughts *PERFECTLY* (before the movie). I am deadly serious.

You illustrate Winry's mind like she's an open book. This is absolutely - amazing! Haha. If you turn this into a story, though...buahahaha, this story would seem like we were really in it - like we were *her*, because she seems so real.

AWESOME JOB! This is really one of the most realistic fanfictions I've ever read on this site - that's pretty extraordinary!

Keep it up!
Hotaru chapter 1 . 3/4/2006
Wow, that was gorgeous - please write more. You captured my feelings of Winry perfectly.
sweetcheeks.luvs.pumkin chapter 1 . 3/1/2006
I thought this story was kind of depressing, but in a good way! I like edwin storys, no i LOVE them! Yours was really good and it is def, going on my fav. list!