|Reviews for Things you do not wish to|
| ChocolateTeapot chapter 15 . 9/25
I know this is old and perhaps this is something you do not wish to see a review on any more, but here's one anyway. I love Alpha Centauri fanfic and wanted to read this one for a while, but I kept putting it off because of its length. It was a fun read.
General: The way the title and the chapters interact is pretty clever.
While the offering the events from two perspectives was a fairly interesting decision, I feel it could have been less repetitive – less wholesale repetition of the speeches and more focus on what Zakharov/Deirdre are thinking. I often ended up skimming Deirdre's parts because I had already seen so much of it.
The dialogue punctuation is non-standard. The comma is usually within the quotation marks. Otherwise there are no grammatical or spelling issues.
The story mostly has a very cosy atmosphere.
Chapter 1: I didn't find the selection proceedings terribly plausible I'm afraid. I'd have expected the high ranking crew to have been far more intimately familiar with the Unity Project. And inviting ten thousand people from all over the world if eight are going to be picked? That just seems bizarre.
I liked Deirdre muttering at Morgan.
I really liked Corazon and Deirdre talking, although why Deirdre would honestly be impressed by Santiago's work is a bit of a mystery to me.
Garland comes over as totally sleazy. Zakharov also doesn't come out too well. His protests, particularly about not judging him by their looks is actually very good, but then he says out loud that he prefers Skye's looks?
Chapter 2: Not very fond of the plot point that Morgan wants to rape Deirdre.
I do wonder why Zakharov is surprised that Santiago might have guessed that he is attracted to Skye. Sure, more time has passed for them than for us readers, but last chapter he said that he is attracted to Skye while in earshot.
I like Sean.
Chapter 3: My honest feelings upon reading the beginning of this chapter are “Grow up, Zakharov”.
I like the description of Deirdre's lab, although not Zakharov's “unscientific” feeling.
The wanting to put the animals in a nicer environment is a neat piece of characterisation, although the actual moving seems like a recipe for disaster.
The cliffhanger is interesting.
Chapter 4: Them realising that Earth had been destroyed was interesting.
The “one luxury item” in Chapter 1 and the too small cages made me think that room aboard the Unity would be at a premium, but evidently there is enough room for Deirdre to have a spare sofa.
I also liked their thoughts before going into stasis.
Chapter 5: Why Sean, who was put to sleep because he was so much trouble, was awakened a year or more before his sister (a team leader) and Zakharov (the top scientist) is a bit of a mystery to me.
Otherwise I liked this chapter. Their first view of Chiron was my favourite moment.
Zakharov's confession was neat too.
Chapter 6: My favourite chapter so far.
I'm glad the pair are finally separated. The repetition was seriously annoying.
I liked Zakharov's first impressions of Chiron. His speech was interesting, but rather weird. Then again, speech writing is hard.
I do wonder why Zakharov can't get the census number clear in his journal entry.
In both cases it seems a rather huge number actually. It suggests that, statistically speaking, there has been one to two new births per person in the last 3 or so years.
I like that a contest is being held to design the University insignia.
Deirdre's thoughts about being a leader were interesting.
Deirdre's speech is excellent.
I liked the account of the first worm capture.
Chapter 7: Good chapter. Zakharov's interactions with his followers was interesting and I liked the report about the tame mind worms.
I liked the conversation with Lal. I guess Lal did come over as slightly patronising once you mentioned it, but compared to what Zakharov and John, it seems like nothing. Perhaps its just my social mores, but “Miss Skye” to an adult with a doctorate seems more patronising than Deirdre.
Chapter 8: I like the comment about not wanting to return assistants.
The first impressions of Gaia's Landing are neat.
Deirdre's diary entry made me wonder. Her comment about Zakharov, suggests that she doesn't really consider any of the people she leads to be her friends.
Chapter 9: I'd have preferred it if Sean had one area of brilliance to be honest, but eh.
Nice that Lal is in the alliance too.
Deirdre doing her own work was very nice to read.
I also liked the description of the Gaian television network.
Chapter 10: Tamar's comment about the children made me smile.
Chapter 11: I wouldn't list that it's a dream sequence. It's already in italics and once voice intrudes it becomes pretty clear that that it's a dream.
To be honest, Deirdre's uncertainties come over as less than interesting to read as us readers already know for sure that Zakharov loves her.
Chapter 12: I'm glad that Zakharov corrects her why she got onto the Unity.
Deirdre's objections to the chatter at the wedding were good.
Chapter 13: Seeing the other factions appear is interesting.
A guaranteed three move win at chess is not possible, unless the rules of the game have changed.
Chapter 14: The revelation is interesting, but it seems a terrible way imaginable to leave a message.
I wonder what Morgan's faction thinks of his arrest.
I liked that Deirdre was elected Planetary governor.
It's nice that they are finally together.
Chapter 15: I'm glad it's not double POV any more.
I liked Natalya.
The absolute ending was really excellent.
| Migranes chapter 15 . 9/1/2009
I really liked how emotions of the characters were portrayed. Very nicely written.
| Number Six-Sixtysix chapter 15 . 8/6/2009
| Where the gras is greener chapter 15 . 11/18/2007
Ee... You could have skipped the 20 years later part. And I'm willing to bet your birthday is April 22.
The double POV had been an interesting concept though I have to point out that your approach was rather tedious to read. You should have left large portions out, for example a speech. It is a good idea to show the inner workings during the same events but revelling them a second time in minute detail is just too much.
I have played the game only a number of times I could count one-handed so I cannot comment on the characters but most of their actions had been reasonable. Not all, mind you (the threat of killing morgan in the early chapters, the lack of joy on discovering more survivors of Planetfall, ...)
And the science part, well, in suspension of disbeliefs is acceptable. If it wasn't Scifi.
All in all a nice story which can be easily read without any preknowledge of the game.
| Jose Cohen chapter 15 . 10/10/2006
Finally read the end of the story. Nice. Except for
* 20 YEARS LATER *
Oh, my. However, I'm willing to forgive because the ending is sweet and beautiful.
| Jose Cohen chapter 7 . 4/26/2006
Well done. I give this story full points for originality. ;) I still am undoubtedly the victim of my own prejudices, as Lal comes across as slightly informal in the latest chapter. From the voiceovers in Alpha Centauri, I always had an impression of him as being a very somber character with an air of sadness. It was a little hard for me to imagine him exclaiming over the commlink.
Otherwise, though, I am still liking this story, and I am interested to find out how the aging issue turns out.
| Jose Cohen chapter 4 . 4/9/2006
Nicely written. A couple of points:
1) I felt that switching between the two viewpoints (above and below that solid line deely) was just a little awkward at times, especially when a lot of it was the same. I feel it was a little difficult to read through all that for a couple of differences.
2) I thought Morgan seemed a little two-dimensional in the parts where he appears (the scene with the juice). Maybe it's my personal view on the character creeping in, but I would have figured Morgan to be a little more clever and subtle than he seems in that scene.
These are just sort of nitpicks, though. Overall I like this story very much.
| al chapter 1 . 3/11/2006