|Reviews for Time Warp|
| Guest chapter 5 . 12/1/2013
You should write one were hermione gets bet by a werewolf and goes back in time and falls for Remus
| Guest chapter 7 . 10/7/2013
You're allowed to wear casual clothing on weekends. Anne-Marie would not have been wearing her uniform. I also respect that you may not speak French, but perhaps you should at least find a better translator... Personally, I like SDL Translation.
- 'J'aime bien' should be 'Je suis bien'. 'J'aime bien' means 'I like it'.
- 'Je amour tu' should be 'Je t'aime'. 'Je amour tu' is not a sentence in French, partly because you haven't conjugated the verb - amour. Actually, I'm not even sure that's the verb for 'love', I think you might just use 'aimer'. I think 'amour' is the noun.
- 'Tu as attendre' should be 'Tu dois attendre'. 'Tu as attendre' isn't a sentence in French. The closest thing to that sentence is 'Tu as attendu', which is the past tense. The 'as' part puts it in the past tense, as it's he past participle with 'Tu', and 'Attendu' is the past tense form of 'Attendre'.
- 'Oú est tu alles' should be 'Oú allez-vous'. Your sentence is incorrect as you conjugate the verb 'to be' not 'to go', and you're talking about multiple friends, so you want 'vous' as your personal pronoun, not 'tu' which is the singular 'you'.
- 'Que'est-ce que est mauvais' is not the simplest way to put it, and to be honest, I don't even know if it's correct. I would say 'Quel est le problème'. Simple, and correct.
- 'Tu t'appeles commet' should be 'Comment tu t'appeles'. You reversed the personal pronouns. And misspelt 'Comment'.
- 'Non, c'est-á-dire impossible'. I'm not even sure what you're getting at. Do you mean 'No, it is to say impossible'? Literally translated, that's what it means. If you want to say 'No, that's impossible' you would say 'Non, c'est impossible'.
| Guest chapter 6 . 10/7/2013
1. By this point, dragons would be somthing thwt might be covered in Care of Magical Creatures class, not DADA.
2. A couple chapters ago you had Harry say he wouldn't be setting any homework. He just set homework. Inconsistency.
| Guest chapter 5 . 10/7/2013
Okay, a second Q and A session? And again with all the angst - makes me want to cry.
Last thing - Harry loving pranks? So typical in these stories.
| Guest chapter 4 . 10/7/2013
A couple of comments -
1. What happened to Peter? He is still a Marauder, and a friend of Sirius, James and Lupin. He should be here.
2. Harry wouldn't have any pictures. He was impromptly thrown into the past. Possessions would also be few - he wouldn't have gotten his salary yet, so even if he'd had time to go to Diagon Alley, he couldn't have gotten anything.
3. The first part of the lesson would have taken max. 5 minutes in the real world. It's not possible there was only ten minutes left till lunch. At the very least show some time has past.
4. A Q and A session? Really? So standard, slightly boring. Everyone always asked the same questions, and get the same answers back. And angst is so common in those little sessions. It always makes me feel so embarrassed for Harry.
One last thing. You had him walk into the dining hall in the middle of the welcome feast and ask for a teaching position.
1. You've seen it once, you've seen it enough.
2. So melodramatic.
3. They definitely would have filled the position by then, even if the teacher wouldn't have been as good as Harry.
4. That blood? They all learnt the 'Scourgify' charm.
It's a good story, but you've got inconsistencies and plot holes, and ideas that are way too overused. Other than that, nice writing! Good luck with the rest of your story.
| KDTBpantherwulf chapter 6 . 9/25/2013
Wow. His class periods are reeeeally short. I mean, it's like, 'Hello class, today we're going to be working on hexes and cur-*bell rings* and that's the bell! Hope you had a wonderful class!'
| hate u chapter 6 . 8/10/2013
Terrible disguisting and bad writing. Writing just isnt your thing, go find something your good at because this is shite
| Guest chapter 7 . 7/17/2013
Lmao! I like chapter seven where Lily kept singing: "You're not the boss of me! You're not the boss of me, you may be the boss of you but you're not the boss of me!" Hahaha hilarious :p
| Guest chapter 5 . 5/15/2013
Type your review for this chapter here...
| Insert Name Here chapter 5 . 3/11/2013
So I've made it this far into your story, I have to say, your spelling and grammar are subpar at best, but your plot is perfectly fine. You should get a beta or something.
| Guest chapter 7 . 1/14/2013
Sorry. I hit 'post' too soon.
Therefore it is 'ma' and not 'mon'. So, to wrap it up, if you want to keep the sentence in he past tense (properly), conjugate the verb with 'tu' in he past tense. If you want it in present tense, take out he auxiliary (as), and conjugate with 'tu' in the present tense. Oh, and if you write any more French? You might want to take a class first, so you won't be left to the mercy of literally thinking online translating sites.
| Guest chapter 7 . 1/14/2013
Look, I'm gonna be kind, by being... Well... Look, your French is terrible. I don't know if you're using a translator (if so, never go to that site again!), or a person (in which case tell them to go back to their French teacher and ask for a refund): Either way, it's bad.
I'll give you an example: Tu as attendre. All right. I'm going translator, as his was translated literally. In two parts. Part 1: you have. In French, this would come out as 'Tu as'. Part 2: to wait. That's where everything went wrong. 'Attendre' is the un-conjugated form of the verb, the literal English translation being 'to wait'. But you needed to conjugate the verb.
So. I'll tell you how to fix it after I tell you what's wrong. 'Tu as' sets the whole sentence in he past tense. You cannot put 'attendre' right after 'Tu as', because any verb that directly come after the pronoun (Tu) and auxiliary (as) MUST be conjugated. An un-conjugated verb may come after a conjugated one. Take the example 'I must clean my room'. 'must is the first (conjugated) verb, 'clean' is the second (un-conjugated verb, or he verb in the infinitive). Here: 'Je dois (must - infinitive: devoir) ranger (to clean - in the infinitive) ma chambre ('chambre'
| plume de phenix chapter 7 . 1/2/2013
I really like your story, it could have a bit more twists and surprises, but it's much better than many other FF's I read ;)
For your french, it's really cute you know :P If you liked to put it correctly just change these things, but you can keep it that way, it's really funny!
(tu dois attendre you have to wait/ LETTER:
Comment vas-tu? Moi, je vais bien. J'adore ton premier et ton deuxième nom...On se voit demain! C'est bien, non? Je t'aime! À demain, Léon/ Where are you going Vous allez où?/ What's wrong qu'est-ce qui ne va pas?/ My friends and my boyfriend mes amis et mon petit copain/ your boyfriend ton petit copain/No, that's impossible Non, c'est impossible)
Greets, pdp :)
| Guest chapter 30 . 12/27/2012
IHATE YOU DUMBLEDORE!
| elijahlover chapter 41 . 12/4/2012
I LOVE IT XXX