|Reviews for Time Warp|
| Guest chapter 4 . 10/7/2013
A couple of comments -
1. What happened to Peter? He is still a Marauder, and a friend of Sirius, James and Lupin. He should be here.
2. Harry wouldn't have any pictures. He was impromptly thrown into the past. Possessions would also be few - he wouldn't have gotten his salary yet, so even if he'd had time to go to Diagon Alley, he couldn't have gotten anything.
3. The first part of the lesson would have taken max. 5 minutes in the real world. It's not possible there was only ten minutes left till lunch. At the very least show some time has past.
4. A Q and A session? Really? So standard, slightly boring. Everyone always asked the same questions, and get the same answers back. And angst is so common in those little sessions. It always makes me feel so embarrassed for Harry.
One last thing. You had him walk into the dining hall in the middle of the welcome feast and ask for a teaching position.
1. You've seen it once, you've seen it enough.
2. So melodramatic.
3. They definitely would have filled the position by then, even if the teacher wouldn't have been as good as Harry.
4. That blood? They all learnt the 'Scourgify' charm.
It's a good story, but you've got inconsistencies and plot holes, and ideas that are way too overused. Other than that, nice writing! Good luck with the rest of your story.
| KDTBpantherwulf chapter 6 . 9/25/2013
Wow. His class periods are reeeeally short. I mean, it's like, 'Hello class, today we're going to be working on hexes and cur-*bell rings* and that's the bell! Hope you had a wonderful class!'
| hate u chapter 6 . 8/10/2013
Terrible disguisting and bad writing. Writing just isnt your thing, go find something your good at because this is shite
| Guest chapter 7 . 7/17/2013
Lmao! I like chapter seven where Lily kept singing: "You're not the boss of me! You're not the boss of me, you may be the boss of you but you're not the boss of me!" Hahaha hilarious :p
| Guest chapter 5 . 5/15/2013
Type your review for this chapter here...
| Insert Name Here chapter 5 . 3/11/2013
So I've made it this far into your story, I have to say, your spelling and grammar are subpar at best, but your plot is perfectly fine. You should get a beta or something.
| Guest chapter 7 . 1/14/2013
Sorry. I hit 'post' too soon.
Therefore it is 'ma' and not 'mon'. So, to wrap it up, if you want to keep the sentence in he past tense (properly), conjugate the verb with 'tu' in he past tense. If you want it in present tense, take out he auxiliary (as), and conjugate with 'tu' in the present tense. Oh, and if you write any more French? You might want to take a class first, so you won't be left to the mercy of literally thinking online translating sites.
| Guest chapter 7 . 1/14/2013
Look, I'm gonna be kind, by being... Well... Look, your French is terrible. I don't know if you're using a translator (if so, never go to that site again!), or a person (in which case tell them to go back to their French teacher and ask for a refund): Either way, it's bad.
I'll give you an example: Tu as attendre. All right. I'm going translator, as his was translated literally. In two parts. Part 1: you have. In French, this would come out as 'Tu as'. Part 2: to wait. That's where everything went wrong. 'Attendre' is the un-conjugated form of the verb, the literal English translation being 'to wait'. But you needed to conjugate the verb.
So. I'll tell you how to fix it after I tell you what's wrong. 'Tu as' sets the whole sentence in he past tense. You cannot put 'attendre' right after 'Tu as', because any verb that directly come after the pronoun (Tu) and auxiliary (as) MUST be conjugated. An un-conjugated verb may come after a conjugated one. Take the example 'I must clean my room'. 'must is the first (conjugated) verb, 'clean' is the second (un-conjugated verb, or he verb in the infinitive). Here: 'Je dois (must - infinitive: devoir) ranger (to clean - in the infinitive) ma chambre ('chambre'
| plume de phenix chapter 7 . 1/2/2013
I really like your story, it could have a bit more twists and surprises, but it's much better than many other FF's I read ;)
For your french, it's really cute you know :P If you liked to put it correctly just change these things, but you can keep it that way, it's really funny!
(tu dois attendre you have to wait/ LETTER:
Comment vas-tu? Moi, je vais bien. J'adore ton premier et ton deuxième nom...On se voit demain! C'est bien, non? Je t'aime! À demain, Léon/ Where are you going Vous allez où?/ What's wrong qu'est-ce qui ne va pas?/ My friends and my boyfriend mes amis et mon petit copain/ your boyfriend ton petit copain/No, that's impossible Non, c'est impossible)
Greets, pdp :)
| Guest chapter 30 . 12/27/2012
IHATE YOU DUMBLEDORE!
| elijahlover chapter 41 . 12/4/2012
I LOVE IT XXX
| G Fawkes chapter 6 . 12/3/2012
NO! You WOULDN'T!
Ok, for fear that you are about to bring Ginny back in time ... thus making me HURL... I am gonna' quit reading, now... and PLEASE people if you're going to write a HP/GW story, then PUT THAT IN THE STORY DESCRIPTION LINE. Not Harry/James, and time travel romance. To me, that meant Harry is a WORLD away from the smelly, dirty, potion brewing, broom-closet HO, that is the youngest Weasley skank. (let that insinuate what it will about Molly... maybe I should have said 'Prewett skank', and not defamed Arthur)
I am currently reading a Harry/multi that includes Ginny, but it is LITERALLY only the 2nd one out of nearly 300, that I have willingly read. Canon is CRAP, and the movie Ginny ruined it for me.
| G Fawkes chapter 5 . 12/3/2012
All this reviewer appreciation 'stuff' reminds me of Luna and her saying "It's almost like having real friends." (sniff)
Just think... this is all written 5-7 years ago... you could have INVENTED Twitter and been a bazillionaire, instead of living your social life on the pages of fanfic.
Fic related: I know this isn't 'that' fic, but HP should have given the marauders and Lily a 'detention' and spilled the entire truth, everything, to them, INCLUDING telling Peter that he was a traitorous rat in his time line. At least they wouldn't ever trust him, and he could never sell them out. AND... the 'boys' wouldn't be jealous of Harry, even if they're a little wierded out by James being his dad.
| G Fawkes chapter 3 . 12/3/2012
Ah, the good old days (Snape-like smirk) when A/N's were almost as long as chapters, and every single person who ever reviewed was mentioned or even answered. Thank goodness for social media nowadays (loads of shite otherwise), to give these people something to do, and get OFF the fic pages!
Regarding the actual fic content... if I were HP, and cast in a story where Ginny had some way-too-canon-ish type relationship with me, I'd do anything to time travel away, jump to an A/U, or even just AK myself. Seems like th a/u stuff is going to be a pretty cool story, though... as long as Lily doesn't go and throw herself at Harry...ew! (shudder)
OMG! I just realized Harry gets to 'influence' a young Snape!
| G chapter 2 . 5/25/2012
The test was a pansy. But ooooh, I just adore marauder/harry I'm simply content with reading another!