|Reviews for Time Warp|
| Never mind chapter 9 . 12/11/2010
The start of the story was great, but Im afraid you lost my interest with the POV & scenarios with Anne-marie and Léon...etc It side tracked from the story to much and Im sorry to say it became too different to be harrypotterish.
The whole harry pretended to write song lyrics and then they invented WIM (?) wasnt the best, it seemed to cheesy and unrealistic!
You did brillantly at the start though!
| lily marie chapter 3 . 7/17/2010
u stole my name not thad i mind i assure u still its a bit wierd good story though so far dont let me down 'kay
| review chapter 5 . 6/25/2010
It seems like the class periods are too short... and he doesn't do any teaching. :(
| RocknLoveGirl chapter 1 . 6/20/2010
Wow, as a french girl, i must this chapter was... well, Horrible. It made me litteraly cry. So, i will correct your french for this chapter Kay' ? (sorry if my english is't good, i'm better at reading it)
_La surprise ! : You can just write "Surprise" or "C'est un secret", the "la" is too much.
_Tu as attendre ! : With the context, i think you should say : "tu verras bien!" or "Attends et tu verras"
_Amélie, où est tu ? : "Amélie, où es-tu ?"
_Merci, Amélie. is right.
The letter :
Is Danielle her last name ? Then, if Léon is her boyfriend, he shouldn't say that. It's too formal.
Chère Anne-Marie ?
Comment vas-tu? Je vais bien. J'aime vraiment ton premier et deuxième nom (thought, why he would say that, i can not understand) ... Je pense pouvoir te revoir demain! (or : Je pense pouvoir venir te voir demain) Cool non ? (or : Tu trouves pas ça génial ? or: Génial non ? )
_Où est tu alles : "Où allez vous ?" or "Où est-ce que vous allez ?"
_Que est-ce que est mauvais ? : "Que ce passe t-il ?" or "Que t'arrives t-il ?"
_Ma Amies, et ma petit ami. : When she says friends, does she speak of boys and girls, or just girl ? because if it's B and G then : "Mes amis et mon petit ami (or petit copain)" if it's just girl then : " Mes amies et mon petit ami"
_Tu t'appelles commet ? : "Comment tu t'appelles ?" or "Quel est ton nom ?"
_Non, c'est-à-dire impossibe ! : "non, ce n'est pas possible" or "Non, impossible !"
_Non, pas impossible: Well this sentence is correct, but a french would never say that : "Bien sûr que si, c'est possible"
_Merci pour l'aide : Like before, a french would never say that :"Merci de m'avoir aidé" or "Merci de votre aide"
Voilà, j'espère que je t'ai bien aidé et que ça te permettras de t'améliorer en français ! ( Well, i hope i helped you, and that it'll help you becoming better in french !)
| kindigo chapter 5 . 12/4/2009
This is the second DADA class where all the class does is ask questions about Harry. It's like Lockhart all over again! Honestly, Harry, I thought you'd be a better DADA teacher than this. I'm disappointed, and also, really really bored.
| The Challenge Master chapter 4 . 11/16/2009
Hi um I've already read this story once but I am reading it again and I would like to say that the lesson just wasn't long enough, they're supposed to be from half an hour to an hour long but I got the feeling that it was 15 minutes long.
| russianperson chapter 31 . 11/6/2009
if u sound out the smerte in the agoni smerte it says death in russian
| writer1066 chapter 3 . 9/30/2009
by the names you gave Lily's roomates I knew you were american. Did you know that Marie is used twice as a name?
out of all the names I only know one person who is called pagie. Someone at myschool had a kid at 16 who she called Paige page.
(im not counting Anne because her name is Anne-Marie).
Just saying they are not very Hogwartsy names
| yousuck chapter 11 . 8/12/2009
your story is so lame. IM, really? and there are too many characters. it started out okay but then i got really bored and it was just too much so i'm just going to stop reading. because now this story official sucks. thanks for wasting my time.
| StormBrisingr chapter 41 . 7/8/2009
Awesome story! I can't wait to start the next story!
| vampirealchemist13 chapter 7 . 7/5/2009
Actually, you may be surprised to know that tu as attendre does mean you have to wait. However, when speaking to a larger group, it would be vous avez attendre. Fun fact :)
| Olaf74 chapter 5 . 6/19/2009
I'm lost of words. Your Story is more than Fantastic. Please continue it as soon as possible.
| Neumzie chapter 9 . 6/1/2009
question: HOW CAN THEY HAVE EVER USED IM IF ITS 1977! COMPUTERS WERENT EVEN AROUND YET! AT LEAST NOT TO THE GENERAL PUBLIC! gah, this is going downhill, which is sad cause it was just getting good, too.
| Neumzie chapter 8 . 6/1/2009
really? you couldn't've picked a better, classier duet to sing? or was that meant to be funny? also, they are going to school, not the oscars! why did they need to bring dates? dates that weren't even mentioned beforehand! i really really really dont mean to flame, but come on!
| Neumzie chapter 7 . 6/1/2009
ugh, all that dialogue with no context. it was all just gibberish because i didnt know who the hell was talking. and i love you in French is Je t'aime. it doesnt make sense, but thats what it is