|Reviews for Fallen|
| HoneyX5-452 chapter 1 . 3/8/2006
oh, this was cool. finally somebody is writing something about kavi and vada. i have them in my new fic 'To hell and back again' too, you might wanna check it out and leave a review ;-)
Liked this and it would be great if you wrote some more, maybe zack coming to get her out or something.
| BlueAngel137 chapter 1 . 3/7/2006
Hey, I most definitely like your story. It's dark and very intense, and you manage to engage the reader's sympathy for Vada although we hardly know the protagonist.
Good job. THANKS.
| Blue-Inked Frost chapter 1 . 3/7/2006
It isn't my fandom, but I have this to say: your writing is improving. Very much. Colour me massively impressed.
It might be my own complete ignorance about the fandom, but I can't see as much of your originality/individuality in this story as in your 'Once Upon The Time'. But this does feel like a pretty good story (as long as you keep punctuation before the end of a closing quote! :P ). And it seems like you've immersed yourself in the character, which is good. As stated, I AM impressed and would probably be more so if I knew the fandom.
The "fixing her to break her" line really worked for me. I have the feeling this is a 'missing scene' fic set in the middle of an episode rather than an original situation, so I won't get on your case about it feeling short and incomplete and having more italicised thoughts than normally-styled prose. It strikes me as an interesting situation. I'd have liked it if you'd expanded on the memories flowing through Vada's mind, but I suppose they're canon and your audience already knows what happened in these.
So, squee! My congratulations to you for keeping on writing. It can be hard when people like me give you harsh feedback, but I think you've done very well in this story. I could nitpick a few more grammatical errors, but on the whole this IS good. This story has made me happy. :D