|Reviews for The dream|
| Mistress Twist chapter 3 . 7/4/2008
Ok, this is a good idea, I will admit, except for the grammar. Why is there so many quotes with this !. They are all excited or having attitude problems. And Father Mulcahy wouldn't be that much worried about a person. At least enough to look for them. How can he lift a person if he can't lift a strecther? He also wouldn't allow anyone to hug him! (from episode "Nurse Doctor")It seems you have a romantic thing going one between Sonar and Father Mulcahy. That would be fine if he's not a priest. Paragraphs are nice as well. :)
| Hawk-Hotlips chapter 1 . 4/25/2007
I know you've gotten some bad reviews, but the sad part is...THEY'RE RIGHT! Only one author is worse than you, go to and look under Original Stories, go to the ones rated 'R' *through a regular search' and click on 'The Grand Rapids O'Reilly" Sorry, but it's true.
| Christine Ruud chapter 2 . 7/26/2006
Oh no...no no no no no.
The party was too much. The toasting took it over the edge. (How was Sonar God's sign they would make it through the war?) In "Crash" there was Christmas party but that didn't end with all the characters celebrating how great Jaclyn was.
Silverbullet? Goldeneye? Eagle-eye? No. Just...no. That's the only way I can describe it.
Also, I have not found one quotation that ended with a period. Exclamation points are fine-in VERY small doses.
WHAT IS A MEANDERTHALL?
Also, I believe I am 99.9% correct in guessing "Sonar" is a self-insertation.
| Robyn chapter 1 . 9/12/2003
I think you reviewers suck. (Or possibly it's the same loser writing different messages)
I can't believe that people are so horrible. Someone write a story, you don't have to read it, but you decide to. But, instead of just pointing out the mistakes you have to insult them. You know what, do us all a favour, next time you don't like a fic, don't read it.
What goes around, comes around and you'll get yours.
| Anon chapter 3 . 6/4/2003
I read the story. Reviewers can be so mean. THere are some spelling and phrasing improvements to be made but its intelligible. The initial idea isnt too bad and could have been developed in an interestng way. The problem is in the way that characters respond just isnt realistic. Nobody in the story seems to take issue with the (catholic!) priest having a relationship with this character? To me that would seem kind of key.
| popawheelie chapter 2 . 1/5/2003
In the immortal words of Craig Ferguson:
"Good Lord! I think you've just stumbled upon the recipe for SUCK!"
Sonar, it's my turn to bash you. Here goes:
1. There are other ways to say "said." Commented, remarked, cried, mumbled, shouted, laughed, observed, exclaimed. Honestly, can you possibly use those? Your story is more boring than a senile goldfish.
2. There are other ways to end a sentence besides "!". I need not tell you what they are. Do all of the characters have a hearing problem? Is that why they shout every sentence?
3. *Sigh* Took is not spelled t-o-k-e.
4. I think you deserve a long, slow root canal.
| popawheelie chapter 1 . 12/17/2002
HOLY GOD IN HEAVEN! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SH*T!
Okay, I'm normally a very nice reviewer. But for the love of humanity, Sonar, this story sucks worse than a vacuum cleaner! WHY DON'T YOU LISTEN? Can't you see how many people hate you? Improve, or else we're all banding together to kick you off this site!
You ruin my day all over again when I read your stuff.
| Appalled chapter 3 . 12/14/2002
You're a troll, aren't you? You must be. I've looked at your other stories and despite polite hints, considered critiques and helpful suggestions, you repeat the same horrendous drivel time after time. I want to believe for the sake of mankind that no one could really be so obtuse.
| Thanks.ermm.yeah chapter 1 . 11/24/2002
Well, Sonar, I would like to thank you for this...umm... "story". Now I have something to use to practice with for correcting grammer.(Though I wish I could also help correct the plot) But also, the reviews you get (flames, really) make me laugh so hard that I almost can't see the computer screen. So thanks for writing all these wonderfu... no, sorry, my keyboard won't let me type that word while discribing your "stories". But seriously, I hope people (OTHER THAN YOU!) continue to review these literary classi... (refused again) so I have something to brighten my day!
| Dear me chapter 1 . 8/2/2002
Um...have you ever heard of a thesaurus or a dictionary? Seeing 'I said,' at the beginning of every other paragraph is not the thing to bring in readers. You could as least put in the correct spacing between Col. and Potter, instead of . That just makes it look like some sort of warped URL Even better, spell the whole thing out!
And, when you're writing about BJ, make sure the 'J' is uppercase.
You stray between past and present tense too many times to count, and that's not a good thing. I've known that since I began to read.
You could also try to put some spacing beween paragraphs.
CAN YOU SAY *MARY SUE?*
| Daria Hawkeye Duffy chapter 1 . 6/7/2002
I'm sorry, but I have to agree with almost everyone else. (What is with the 'toke' sh*t?) Two words, kiddo, "Spell Check."
And, COME ON, is Sonar so irrestistable that she could beat Gale to Father Mulcahy? Impossible! I mean, I've written some pretty lousy "Mary Sues" in my day, but this TAKES THE CAKE!
Good luck, YOU'LL NEED IT.
| Good GRIEF chapter 1 . 5/30/2002
Good GRIEF. Can you say CHARACTERIZATION RAPE? Can you say MARY-SUE? Do you understand how BADLY this story (and the "character" of Sonar) SUCKS! All I want to know is why you constantly torture a) the die-hard MASH fans b) the innocents who stumble across this and c) the characters of MASH, esp. "the priest" (in your own, so eloquent (yeah right) words) By the way, you can look up eloquent in the dictionary while you are proofreading this "story". !HINT HINT! And while you're at it, also look up
heinous, abysmal, pathetic, obnoxious and repugnant, which are all good discriptive words for this pathetic excuse for a fan-fiction. So please, until you re-edit, revise, and RETHINK these horrible stories, do us a favor and TAKE THEM OFF THIS SITE! Seriously, these are embarrassments to all the writers who take time and ensure that their works flow with the series and characters, instead of re-writing so they can be the "hero" in their own little MASH world- where they can even get a Priest to go back on his vows just for you. How remarkably touching. *pause for gagging* One more thing- you are not the center of the universe! (MASH or otherwise) Do not begin every sentence with 'I'and NEVER DO THIS TO MASH AGAIN!
P.S. Why couldn't she die when she got shot?
| GryffindorQueen1 chapter 1 . 5/1/2002
Great Job, again, Sonar. If ya ever wanna talk M*A*S*H* email me at
| ENG.Teach chapter 1 . 3/22/2002
OK. MAJOR grammer lesson time. I'm going to try to remain in a "constructive critisism" mode on your grammer and phrases only.
1) PLEASE DON'T SHIFT TENSES!
2) 'Cause' is not a word, 'because' is a word.
Avoid "trendy locutions that sound flaky," such as 'crap.'
Never, never, use 'toke' again, please. The word is TOOK. (How can you not spell took but you can spell Grape Nehi?)
QUITTED? HURTED? OWFUL? Are you doing this to tortue us?
Also, please don't use numbers in your writing. Ex: Not "I sat for 5 hours," but "I sat for five hours."
And why is everyone in your story so excited? Every sentence ends in an exclamation point and it gets old very quickly.
One final note, it's not 'I must OF', it's I must HAVE.
3) Some quotes you may want to revise:
"I went off my stool..."
"...the weather smoothes me..."
"[He] was walking passing us..."
"His duty of trash."
You may want to refine your vocabulary and grammatical skills before you attempt another story, or (since I'm assuming you are around seventh or eighth grade) before you go to high school.
| Joe blow the radio man chapter 1 . 1/10/2002
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
I have to agree with Andraia Matrix. Your story is too short. There are line upon line of HELLO there it is. It doesn't show any talent nor any art. I sugest that you go and you learn sentence structure and take some writing classes before you attempt another.
RUN don't walk