|Reviews for Kim's Minority Report|
| AnnaRinzler chapter 1 . 2/4/2007
Hm...well, I've only read chapter one so far, because I have to go study for a Biology test. But I promise I'll read the rest later.
Here's a little constructive criticism for you: The first chapter was a bit too bubble-gum, cutesy girl in my opinion.
"This charming woman was Witwer’s beloved girlfriend, Trisha Goodwin."
You're narrating right there. NEVER tell a story, it's supposed to be shown, if you understand what I'm saying. Too much direct characterization and narration tends to make for a bit of a flat story.
But it's going pretty well I think. I'll finish it tomorrow.