Reviews for Stray Bullet
Littlemissmighty chapter 1 . 4/30/2011
Haha great story! What a sight that would be, Torn getting carried by Ashlin :P lol good writing :)
LeiaOrganicSolo chapter 1 . 7/25/2009
hahahahaha! damn that is some funny stuff! who... wow. lol. loving this story. poor torn... :D
chibi-veneficus chapter 1 . 2/16/2009
Who cares about grammar as long as the story is good? %D

Absolutely loved it; there's not to many stories with Ashelin and Torn this good x3
Preemtive Karma chapter 1 . 1/12/2009
You have an interesting writing style that grabs attention and keeps it. Very funny!
Ginkyofu13 chapter 1 . 8/17/2006
East-Coast-Invictus chapter 1 . 6/28/2006
Giggle-snort. I agree with you on the whole, style thing. Why must people be so picky? Haha! Anyway, this was cute and a nice insight on happenings before JakII.
Shadow Systems chapter 1 . 5/12/2006
This is funny as hell! Please write more!

lol may the plot bunnies be with you!
V-chan2k6 chapter 1 . 3/18/2006
*giggles* That was cute. Your writing style is humorous and descriptive—a very good combination. Kudos!
Fhulhi the Crazy chapter 1 . 3/15/2006
Lol! That is so like them! Good fic.
Corad and Bijoux chapter 1 . 3/14/2006
This was a really sweet one shot! It's good to see Torn and Ashelin fics around. Not many these days though. It's also great that you wrote something for Jak and Daxter again! Haven't seen you in this fandom in ages. You made my day lol. I really loved the ending to this, it was so funny. Poor Torn, being beaten by a stray bullet. You've got the best ideas Phoe-chan!

~Corad~ -
Darksbane chapter 1 . 3/14/2006
Hey - long time, huh? *grin*

Can't say I expected a Jak and Dax oneshot ever again. *shrug* Since you did, I thought I might as well review instead of breezing in, reading, then neglecting the little blue button down the corner.

Anyway, you shouldn't be too worried about the grammatical rules of sentances. Fragments are used to create a sense of tension - generally speaking, I believe 'normal' or formal writing rules are suspended. I prefer something a bit more interesting too, and it creates mood and atmosphere. You used them well.

Gotta say it though (after all this time of reading and not reviewing) - you sure have improved since 'Secrets'. I'd be interested in seeing a 'Secrets' rewrite, now that I've gotten around to saying it!

Anyway, you've captured Torn's character pretty well, and the flow is really nice.

Haven't seen the inside of the J&D section for a while... I wonder what horrors await me now that I'm going to check?

Bets are on for Mary-Sues, self-inserts and gay high-school fics!
hitenmitsurugi girl chapter 1 . 3/14/2006
A Jak and Daxter fanfic? This is a first.