Reviews for Tumescence
Sousky chapter 1 . 11/17/2017
Hahaha that was hilarious. Good read.
marmaduke chapter 2 . 8/11/2014
Hahahaah good one Dave! go do that assignment chickens
1st Lieutenant chapter 2 . 2/15/2009
Ooh. So good of a story. There should be more chapters. Hope to see more chapters.
Zaphi Nashii chapter 1 . 7/17/2008
Irene chapter 1 . 12/4/2007
Hello Dave-d

I have had the oporutunity to read many of your FMP fanfictions in the short little while that I have come across them, and finally I have decided to speak out.

You have an effortless ability it seems to capture our beloved characters in a way I haven't seen others do yet. I've explored the various authors but your works are my favourites. You possess the talent of nailing the first line in each of your stories and drawing us ever deeper into your works with the subsequent sentences, in a way that makes me envious as a writer.

What captured my attention the most was the characterization of Sousuke's thought process. Not only was it indicative of the uncertainties prone to our human nature, but it was so entirely true to the character's personality. The lively debate he engaged himself in highlighting his desire to bring practicality to each situation, consulting various famous battles and military writings to aid his decision, and the rambling nature he tends to externally portray.

As an added litterary treat, I enjoyed the presented defintions at the beginning and ending of the story; I thought it was an inspired touch to the peice.

I severely enjoy your work, and I look forward to making my way through another tale. Keep up the phenomenal work.


mk-chan160 chapter 2 . 9/29/2007
Poor Sousuke!

How embarassing!

It was hilarious that end!



You are a excellent writer!


Sousukes-Girl chapter 2 . 9/21/2007
Too good. Poor Sousuke and poor Kaname! Very good story and nice er...points? )

Keep writing these little fics, I love them!
The-Shadow002 chapter 2 . 5/19/2007
Oh God! This was as great as the first chapter FABULOUS work, you really do have a gift for writing these story's. You make them realistic, true to form and character and excessively entertaining. The events are are easy for the reader to picture providing even more entertainment haha. Fabulous story exteremely entertaining, just great work from a great writer.
The-Shadow002 chapter 1 . 5/19/2007
Hahahaha fabulous writing! Loved every bit of it. I like how you have references to the Art Of War throughout your stories, gives them a nice since of sameness yet a difference in where you have used them. I absolutely loved the metaphors you were using at the end haha absolutely fabulous in every way and I just couldnt stop laughing.

The only thing I can find fault with is the transition from the daydream to reality, I'm not sure if the daydream is a rememberance of something that has already happened or if Sousuke is daydreaming it himself because frankly I couldnt see it as being part of his character to come up with a daydream like that heh. So if that was clarified a little more it would make more sense.

Other then that a fabulous story loved it, great work.
Free Fallin Cutie680 chapter 2 . 5/19/2007
k9 chapter 1 . 4/26/2007
OH DUDE! That was amazing ahahahah poor Sousuke! I love your works! Please write more FMP material!
Chidori vs Rasengan chapter 1 . 2/23/2007
luv dis phic!
packardball chapter 2 . 2/23/2007
sick very sick this is very close to and m
SugarlessSweetness chapter 2 . 1/28/2007
Hahahaha. that was pretty funny. do you plan on doing another chapter? i hope you do!
forlornromanticist chapter 2 . 11/23/2006
I was like constantly laughing (and still am):D from all those funny and incredibly embarassing scenes, and how words were misinterpreted, and how I was hearing sound effects as I was reading from when Sosuke and Kaname were banging into things (bike rail, sign, etc)lol it was completely awesome. This was HILARIOUS! ur really good at writing humorous stuff when it's Sosuke and Kaname involved. As u probably noticed, I loved this. i usually don't read oneshots (i guess now u can call it a twoshot if there's a such thing ;) ) because I don't want them to end in just one chapter. I'm glad u added another "Bonus followup" and that u continued using a word say for the chapter name, and had the definitions and stuff like the 'touchy' at the end of this chappie. lol it was good for consistency when it's regarding the 1st one. sorry if i'm incoherent it's like 12:13 a.m. and I'm like mad tired, lol. well, good luck with any future stories, and keep writing funniness! (my word no plagarising _~ ) _
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