Reviews for Jewel of Nadia
Nov.Rain chapter 4 . 1/19/2013
I wish that you didn't finish the chapter 4 like that...

I need to now what will happen!

Update soon :-)
star that shines on angels win chapter 4 . 1/4/2013
I'm a wanting another chapter! SOON! PLEASE! TTTT your gonna make me cry!
Fenrir16 chapter 1 . 8/20/2011
Uwah.. cool... o_o
Fenrir16 chapter 4 . 8/20/2011
EEP! Continue! :O now! I mean it..
Watrepuss chapter 3 . 9/20/2010
well written.
Watrepuss chapter 4 . 9/20/2010
it is a fanfiction so i suppose you can portray the characters however you like, but you really have done dark all wrong. first of all, dark wold never CRY. as if. and secong, even assuming you're right and e is dumb, nobody would be THAT dumb.
Dark-Angel-Princess 01 chapter 4 . 8/31/2010
please update soon!
KitsuneDango chapter 4 . 7/17/2010
ahhh come on you cant leave me hanging like that!
coolgamer chapter 4 . 4/10/2007
good story update soon
DevilMadeYouCry chapter 4 . 12/11/2006
WTF? this is goin 2 end badly...very badly
SoraSakura chapter 4 . 12/11/2006
Very interesting ficcy. Ah! I hope they get to Daisuke in time!
Avia Jenith chapter 4 . 12/10/2006
Why do you percieve Dark as stupid? Most people see him as clever for always managing to get away. Not that its a problem, we are all entitled to our opinions, just wondering why you think that.

As for criticism, if you don't mind a little more, there are a few points. You're still switching from past to present tense. Becareful, because in past tense, you seldom use words like 'is' or any verb ending in 'ing.' If you want to use 'ing' verbs, they are usually separate clauses. ie "He walk'ed' down the street, chew'ing' gum and talk'ing." Its not the best explanation, but I can give a better one if you need it. Be aware of dropped words too. Sometimes people get typing so fast they get ahead of where they are and leave out small words such as 'as' 'it' 'like' etc. Try rereading your work aloud to find dropped words or awkward sounding sentences.

And just a little style pointer, it always helps to add description, lots of description.

But I liked the chapter, it was very interesting. Now I've gotta find out if Dark and Satoshi make it in time.
gbzgbbhz chapter 3 . 11/1/2006
whats going to happen? i need to know! this story is awesome so far
CosmicEssence chapter 3 . 7/26/2006
I gotta admit I can't imagine Dark crying but otherwise its all very riveting and you've definitly got the suspense thing going well. YOur grammer is a little off in places i.e. that last line should be '...blacked out.' instead of '...black out' but I'll be waiting on an updating _
Kaira-chan15 chapter 3 . 6/26/2006
This sounds good so far! Plz continue soon!
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