|Reviews for End Game|
| Markus Ramikin chapter 19 . 5/23
"And congratulations to those readers who figured out in advance how they were going to fix it."
I know I'm late to the party, and I'm sorry, but I am only saying this to help the story: this was bloody obvious the very moment I read the sentence that Hermione was now a muggle and you're insulting the audience for suggesting otherwise. I didn't know, of course, if it would actually happen this way, since it depended on the author - you might have preferred to give Hermione's sacrifice more weight by making it stick, which is an equally valid choice as what you actually did. But it was bloody obvious that someone should have at least suggested at least trying it, within less than 5 minutes of people learning what happened, regardless of whether you'd let it work.
I think this whole subarc and the writing in it was mostly excellent. Conditional on the sacrifice really seeming permanent, the rest of the elements work great, the drama and fallout. I loved the bit where Harry reassures Hermione.
But the fact that none of the 85-or-more-IQ characters (let alone people like Hermione or Flitwick) immediately thought to ask if switching the artefacts and sending power the other way would help is NOT plausible. I'd suggest modifying the way the ring/necklace work to create some reasonable-sounding reason why initially it seemed not worth trying. I don't know what exactly, it would take some brainstorming. But with that element missing, right now it's an Idiot Plot and a jarring note in an otherwise lovely story.
| Markus Ramikin chapter 17 . 5/23
"Everything that has transpired has done so, according to my design. Your friends, out there on the sanctuary moon, are walking into a trap. An entire legion of my best troops awaits them."
I like it that you blamed Voldemort for what is your own fault ;).
Seriously though, in HP fanfiction there's not enough of the kind of plausible Voldemort who doesn't sound like a caricature.
| Markus Ramikin chapter 9 . 5/23
"In return for our confidentiality, include us in the ruse. You want it to look like you're dating other girls, let us be part of it. Switch girls every so often and everyone will think you're playing the field, so no one will be in danger. And we get a chance to date Harry Potter."
Parvati's face lit up, and Harry recalled how Padma had revealed that she had once fancied him. He frowned and started to shake his head.
"This wouldn't be in-character for me. People wouldn't buy it."
"Oh, I think they will. I'm sure my sister will make it very believable", Padma said, causing Parvati to blush.
Harry was liking this less and less. It was becoming real to him, now that they were bargaining regarding these silly demands over something he had made clear was a matter of life and death. The sheer "wait, what?" aspect of it shocked him.
"And if I say no?" he asked slowly. "You will reveal our secrets and put people's lives in danger?"
Parvati looked up, uncertain. Padma frowned at this change in tone, but clearly didn't quite get the message in time to say something that could have saved her.
"Stupefy. Stupefy", Harry said quickly, and in the shocked silence that followed, he added "Obliviate."
| HeartsGlow chapter 11 . 4/30
She should have 'banished' him into the hall after speaking...and changed the password! :)
| 1ori ann chapter 22 . 1/11
Overall, I like the story. I really don't like any of the conclusions. Of the variations, I like the first one most, but although Hermione is rational and calm, I would have expected something else than just laying there while Harry felt someone else up. For the second conclusion, I would have hoped that although she stayed apart of his life, she could have found herself a husband and have a family of her own. Also, for the last two, Neville loses out greatly for his sacrifice.
| Sailor Pandabear chapter 22 . 11/24/2014
I love all the endings
| cameron1812 chapter 20 . 9/25/2014
A long-time multi-universe fanfic fanatic, I like to think I know quality work when I see it, but I try not to compare to other good works, as each has its own unique and wonderful magic (sorry...). So it is with some amazement that I have concluded that this piece and its prequel are two of not only the best potter-fic pieces I have ever read, but two of the best pieces of fanfic of any genre I have read in over 20 yrs of following fanfic, back to the 1200 baud bulletin-board era.
Character development (in mine, and only my opinion) is what makes a good story, combined with a strong and imaginative plot, and you have blown my mind here.
| yvonnestrahovski chapter 14 . 9/18/2014
Once you started talking about Harry ending up with ginny, I almost stopped reading. What I am trying to say is, I have read too many H/G Fics, I'm really looking forward to harry ending up with hermione.
| MrsH chapter 20 . 6/17/2014
What a great story! Loved both parts of it. The only (very minor) criticism I can offer is that it could have been edited a bit more tightly so that it was a bit shorter, but it was so enjoyable that I didn't mind the extra padding.
Thank you very, very much for sharing your talent and your vision.
| Specky Clarke chapter 22 . 5/14/2014
For me this ending is by far the best. Man (both male and female) is not naturally monogamus, this state has been imposed on humankind by religion. Jealousy is the most destructive emotion there is; even more than anger.
| Specky Clarke chapter 3 . 5/12/2014
You cannot allow Harry to stay with Ginny! Just like Ron and Hermione they are not suited. However, Harry and Hermione are the perfect pair. I will be most disappointed if Harry finally ends up with Ginny.. The story is great and well written, very easy to read.
| YaGHeofttHaeLubvit216 chapter 8 . 3/9/2014
Star Wars: The Empire strikes back. Assult on Hoth.
| CPO Backstreet chapter 22 . 8/15/2013
Read both stories together. (Well, over several days.) Although you kind of rescued it, I found the portrayal of Ginny as someone who let boys do whatever they liked to her at fourteen or younger and Harry and Hermione as pure and virtuous souls who never even kissed their previous partners a bit like forcing the characters to fit the required roles (and kind of undermined by the obsession with semi-nakedness). And I despaired the Star Trek mentality that Hermione couldn't possibly get less than perfect marks without being cheated. (Books and cleverness? There are more important things.) I appreciate the attempt to develop Harry and Ginny in a way you could believe even though I don't really share your interpretation of Half-Blood Prince.
An engaging plotline, good use of characters, nice callback placing Ron with Gabrielle (although couldn't poor Neville get a third option other than Ginny or death, even if it's a long bachelorhood?) and a surprising ruthlessness in places. Interesting to see a time when some characters were more of an open book than they are now. Well worth reading, thank you.
| cruzcartoon chapter 20 . 8/7/2013
I think I read a story like this one before where it ended Harmony but it also mentioned that Daphne may have a kid with harry in the Epilogue I cant remember what story that was though. wish I did.
| AerynS chapter 20 . 7/20/2013
What a ride! Thanks for all the fish*smile*