Reviews for Dragon's Destiny
shugokage chapter 6 . 11/19/2013
Interesting story good job!
Ganheim chapter 6 . 5/10/2009
The cave had been carved out in ancient times, but had an unfinished look.

[Really? Most caves are naturally scored/eaten from the rock (the most common one that I can think of is carbonic acid from common rain eating away at limestone). Give us details: if it’s artificial at all, that should stand out]

when he noticed the kanji reshaping and moving around.

[Well, technically Chinese is written in Hanzi (which was imported into Japan as Kanji); Japanese sentences are a mix of Kanji and Hiragana, sometimes with Katakana depending on if non-Chinese foreign loanwords are used]

Genma read the first line and sweated slightly.

[Well, thank you at least for not saying the poor cliché ‘anime sweatdrop’ or something equally clunky and corny]

"Oyaji!

[Unnecessary Japanese]

His hair was a bit lighter in color,

[Considering how it started black, that means it could be almost _anything_]

She idly noted that her great-granddaughter was missing from the crowd.

[And chaos is sure to follow]

"DIBS, I said DIBS! I saw him first!"

[Interesting change to Nabiki]

"Me? I couldn't, I wouldn't...Well, if you insist. Okay."

[And Akane is acting predictably out-of-sorts. Where are the other girls? You explicitly mentioned that Shampoo disappeared from the amazon riot]

"Sugoi,"

[Unnecessary Japanese]

companion to the "Neutral Ground" tale. Just posting this chapter to gauge reaction while working on finishing "The Art."

[Comical beginning, though I think if Shampoo’d shown up before/at the same time as Ranma so that she was in the same room when the fiancée thing was announced, the chaos would’ve been even funnier]

2: School Is No Place For Horsing Around

"Oh," said Kasumi, turning an interesting shade of scarlet, "my. Did _I_ say that aloud?"

[Now _that’s_ comedy]

since being clueless about such things is a male quality."

[So what about Akane not picking up on Ranma liking her until the DAMN END OF THE SERIES?]

"BAKA BAKA BAKA"

[Unnecessary Japanese]

SD Shampoo

[Even if I didn’t know what ‘SD’ is (though you shouldn’t assume the audience knows, stick to full narrative when possible), I wouldn’t recommend it]

It arced up then slammed down on Shampoo's head.

[As rushed as the other changes have been, you could’ve had Shampoo intentionally put herself in the descending path of the mace head. I think that would’ve been a riot. Of course, it also could’ve been overmuch]

from formal duel to polite sparring match within a week.

[Not on the spot, as it’s implied that they fight right away?]

Akane went to her room crying and Nabiki wore an ice pack.

[Though Akane would get mad, I don’t believe she’s ever struck family. The one time I can think of in canon that she hit her father while sparring she nearly went into shock]

No Akane trying to beat on Nabiki,

[Do I need to point this out to say that it looks uncharacteristic?]

his transformation just a few days ago.

[Wait, Ryouga’s been around Nerima that long?]

His shirt burst open in a fashion almost exactly like Kenshiro from "Hokuto No Ken"-

[Meaning nothing to those unfamiliar with ‘Hokuto no Ken’]

"FREEZE FRAME!" Ryouga struck the ground. A wave of mist sped out from him, ice forming over every surface as it passed.

[I had a sudden flashback to Animaniacs at the name of the attack, and its like result]

If she couldn't hold a superior intelligence over that "Chinese bimbo" what could she use to assert her own superiority?

[Sounds true to form, particularly for the context]

Shampoo think it going to be long night."

On THAT there was no disagreement.

[Undoubtedly so]

Kasumi was almost the antithesis of an amazon.

[Why, just because she doesn’t fight? Even the Spartans needed craftsmen and farmers, no warrior culture is complete without a support structure – that’s why every warrior culture that forgets that disintegrates]

Shampoo shook her head. "Shampoo will have rest of life to spend with Ranma. When is match?"

[Actually, what about Shampoo? If she’s a member of the Furinkan Student Body then wouldn’t she be able to substitute as well?]

with Ranma there we're sure to win!"

"Yeah, Kodachi won't be able to keep her mind on the match," the third suggested.

[Points 1]

If Akane lost in front of Ranma, then a rival would be humiliated. If Akane won, then Shampoo's help in setting this up would defuse some of the hostility towards her. She just loved win-win situations.

[Crafty]

She had almost as many smirks as Akane had glares or her father had wails.

[Well, Nabiki has plenty of practice]

DOES MOUSSE NOT UNDERSTAND!"

[Interrogative missing its question mark]

transformation job worthy of Juusenkyo

[Isn’t it typically Latinized ‘Jusenkyo’?]

DRAGON'S DESTINY 6/6: Higher Destiny

[Well, it was good up until sailor moon showed up. Then it jumped around like a schizophrenic on a caffeine high, with an equal sense of development and characterization]

This was looking to be an interesting story, until it spontaneously tried to become a megacrossover without either a plausible reason to merge the fandoms or the effort to work them into each other. There was humor with enough drama sprinkled into the story that it really looked like it was going somewhere, but then it hasn’t been updated in years.
mikebreslau chapter 6 . 8/24/2005
Read it before. Read it again.

Loved it before. Loved it again.

Good, clean fun.

Mike
wolf-in-hell chapter 6 . 3/13/2005
I happen to be a fan of "Ranma gets all the girls" type stories, so I really liked this one. And while I know it is a finished story and probably never going to be touched again, I can dream of it being expanded, if not in this time line, maybe another. You never know with that little black cat and his well...
dogbertcarroll chapter 6 . 4/9/2003
Another case of simple wish fufillment. *chuckle*

So when's Dragonbard getting to work?
dogbertcarroll chapter 5 . 4/9/2003
Good chapter. Ryouga seems a bit more evil tho'. Of course all the negative energy he has would change him, and not for the better. I love the SM xovers.
dogbertcarroll chapter 4 . 4/9/2003
Great chapter. I just wish Spatula girl had arrived in time to get a tat!
dogbertcarroll chapter 3 . 4/9/2003
"vile poisoners who do this to airen!" Obviously she'd spent too much time watching Ranma fight Kuno and listening to the latter's speeches.

LOL. Scary thought!

I like the new Ryouga. Too bad he didn't wish for intelligence and self control.
dogbertcarroll chapter 2 . 4/9/2003
Would Callahan really allow Genma and Soun be patrons there?
dogbertcarroll chapter 1 . 4/9/2003
Very nice begining. I love the humor in the story.
the DragonBard chapter 1 . 11/27/2001
I finally got a new chapter of this fic released.

If you want, ask and I'll send it to you so it can be posted here.
MadHat chapter 6 . 7/16/2001
So it was Puck who was the one who made the cruse pools in the frist place. I like this story you should continue with this.
Guest chapter 6 . 5/24/2001
love this story
Shadow of a Rose chapter 6 . 5/19/2001
nice
Lufio chapter 3 . 5/18/2001
Some changes. Liked the improvement on the scene where Ranma shatters the ice pillars. Still like the summary of a normal week for Ranma. But now, I finally get a chance to voice the little things that've been bothering since the first time I read this completed Bet fic. Could you give a little more background for Mao Yin? She's a background char, but could you elaborate more on how Ryouga rescued her and what villages Ryouga tried to get her adopted? Also, the lines where Nodoka and Genma arrived at the school. Even though it's not Kasumi, I can't help but think it's her initially. Clarify it more? Also, when Kasumi explains to a newly-awakened Akane what happened to Ranma, Kasumi refers to explaining to Akane earlier. I think Akane and Nabiki are getting mixed together here or there's a few lines missing on Nabiki waking up. Also, could you elaborate more on how the girls initially noticed the changes in Ranma's tattoo? Nabiki just jumped into an explanation. There's no mention of what prompted her to say that. All there was was confirmation on the presence of other tattoos. Anyways, have fun with the revisions.
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