|Reviews for The Lady and the Brown Bear|
| Vanechka chapter 1 . 1/18/2009
controversial pairing, done really well. I liked it a lot. yeah, nice afterthought...I always thought it unpleasant to pair Marcus up with anyone...but this was really nice...
| SandyCaesar chapter 1 . 11/2/2008
Reviewed, as part of FE Awards process.
This was a great piece, Meelu. I love the fairy-tale motif than ran through the story. Points for not dropping the story into over-sentimentality.
On the negative side, I noticed a few cases of awkward sentence construction. Plus:
"As Marcus rode away, Eleanora let out a shriek of joy. Everyone who heard it jumped in fear—it sounded like an animal had just been gored."
I can see the intent here, and how it's meant to tie in with the fairy-tale theme, but I feel that it just doesn't fit.
So, great work overall; some improvement possible in style.
| Kitten Kisses chapter 1 . 1/8/2008
Psh, I can't believe I never saw this. Well...that's what I get, I guess. This is a little old, but I'm still going to review. After all, if I read it, you deserve a review for keeping me from having to write my own fanfiction. (Which is what I *should* be doing at the moment, but I'm stuck for thoughts, so...reading it is!)
Wow. This was an interesting story. First, let me say that I liked it. Second, let me apologize for not reading it sooner. Third, let me put it on my Favorite's list.
Okay. Now that that's out of the way. The only grammatical problems I saw were two wording errors, and I believe place there should have been a comma, but wasn't. (No big deal, in other words.)
The only thing wrong with the entire story is that... I don't know. I think that there should have been just a tad more thinking on Eleanora's part. Especially about Marcus- making him seem more like a friend, more like someone she spoke with frequently when he brought her letters from Elbert... That would have made things more realistic, especially where his confession was concerned. (The line about her nearly reconsidering her marriage was beautiful...but it seemed sudden, considering she didn't act as if she felt anything for him before.)
Marcus sure is a sweetheart, isn't he?
The ending was sad, and I guess I was a little disappointed because of it. But it's still beautiful, or I would not be adding it to my favorites. Have a wonderful day, Meelu.
| R Amythest chapter 1 . 8/10/2006
Hee, I like the character of Elle - very typical awkward teenage girl with a hint of status. I think it's good that she's characterized as a teen despite her rank... too many people make the mistake of making noble people noble, and ending there. I love the little casual "OMG GIRL IN LOVE" chick-flick-esque moments - "As Marcus rode away, Eleanora let out a shriek of joy. Everyone who heard it jumped in fear—it sounded like an animal had just been gored." - despite knowing, with the story of the brown bear and all, that it'll obviously turn dark.
Small grammar error: "“Ooh, who is you lord, Sir Knight?” Elle said, her voice gushing a little too much for her taste."
"You" should be "your" here.
(Personally, I would've found it entertaining if Marcus was clutzy about Eleanora and called her Eleanor like he did once in the script sometime...)
Overall, this is a very unique story... very well-written and so forth, you know what I say. Interseting subject matter you've chosen.
| Radioactive Plasma chapter 1 . 3/25/2006
This is very, very beautiful. I love the interaction between Lady Eleanora and a (hesitant!) Marcus. My favorite was this: "In return, Eleanora never told Elbert that she had almost reconsidered their marriage." It created such a tragic image of Eleanora having to choose between two loves. I only wish that her emotions for Marcus would have shown through in the fiction more clearly to show how anguished she must've been before the wedding, and at the end, if they still loved each other. I suppose it's implied, though.
Very nicely done. A favorite for sure!
| JSB chapter 1 . 3/22/2006
That is so sad, but really good, I don't even compare with my writings. The fairy tale being incorporated into the story was really well done, and I mean it, it gave the story a great effect. Why didn't I read this before...gr. Great job, looking forward to future works.
| Link015 chapter 1 . 3/20/2006
Gah, it's too good! Now I'm jealous. Oh well, it was really good. There really aren't many Eleanora fics out there anyway, and definitely none that show her as a young maiden in love. Same with Marcus and Elbert. And it was fantastic how you wove the fairy tale throughout the whole storyline. Great, great job.
-still is jealous-
| Lemurian-Girl chapter 1 . 3/19/2006
Wow, that was interesting, in a good way. One of the more original fics on this site. I loved how you made Marcus love Eleanora as well. It adds a little extra to Marcus' character, who so many people shove aside. The fairytale was a nice theme to run through it as well. Overall, good story. :)