|Reviews for Race Among the Ruins|
| ILoveJorja chapter 3 . 9/20/2010
Finally! Someone who describes Catherine for the manipulative drama queen she is!
| hammer78 chapter 12 . 1/15/2010
Sad but great so great I didn't stop to review sorry :)
| Sara Sidle Grissom12 chapter 3 . 9/9/2009
That is not good.
| toothchick chapter 11 . 6/9/2009
Tears were pouring down my face while reading this!
| toothchick chapter 6 . 6/9/2009
Reading about 5 year-old Gil was so sad!
| Wander52 chapter 12 . 10/18/2008
Loved this story and seeing a vulnerable Grissom...glad he made it. Great story
| Canon Cannons chapter 12 . 9/10/2008
Evil! Evil! You made me cry, evil person. *wipes eyes*
Dammit, that story was far too good and so realistic. Looking forward to reading the rest of your stories! *sniff*
| ProWriter11 chapter 1 . 8/10/2008
Hey, I just ran across this story, and I enjoyed it. I thought you would like to have this bit of trivia. Charles M. Schulz immortalized the quote, "It was a dark and stormy night," allowing it to flow from Snoopy's typewriter. But neither Schulz nor Snoopy wrote it. It came from the pen of real-life Victorian novelist Edward Bulwer-Lytton at the beginning of his 1830 novel, "Paul Clifford." The phrase itself is now understood as a signifier of a certain broad style of writing, characterized by a self-important attempt at dramatic flair, the imitation of formulaic styles, an extravagantly florid style, redundancies, and run-on sentences. There actually is a long-standing Bulwer-Lytton contest in which participants try to outdo one another in bad writing. I'm sure you could Google the results on the Internet. They are often hilarious. Have fun.
| Sentray chapter 11 . 7/20/2008
(I really do hope you don’t get discouraged by anything I say, as I might get in-depth in the report.
So, to start things off and hopefully put a smile on your face, I'd rate this fanfic an 8.5/10)
Haha, I'm happy that you appreciate me taking the time to review your works - but really, its no big deal.
I felt the need to read a GSR fanfic, and you supplied it.
Simple as that.
And now, down to business.
I just finished reading the whole thing today, and have the following statements to make:
Sometimes you did get too flowery with descriptions, especially near a few climaxes in action - unfortunately that made me skip through a few paragraphs (I went back and read them afterward of course) and left me feeling a tad disappointed.
That being said, I found myself asking for more of a picture in some instances. For example;
When Grissom was trapped in his car, I wondered what the setting was, what way the car was flipped, what the car looked like, etc..
I suppose there has to be a gentle balance of movement in story, along with description to really capture the audience's interests.
Don’t be afraid to have shorter sentences, but please don’t loose your passion for describing.
It’s what got me hooked in the first place!
I also feel that you made Gris's past a little too "emo". This may just be my own preferences though, so take that to mind while reading this.
When he was having those flashbacks, while it was a good idea, I could never really imagine him crying at all. Which is why I found it strange that he expressed that emotion too much, along with him thinking that he was a "big freak".
Grissom strikes me as the man who doesn’t particularly care what others think about him, because he’s so detached. At an early age, perhaps, but it was overdone a little.
I liked that you did use flashbacks though, because it gave me another opinion as to how Grissom ended up the way he is.
If I were to take in Sara's personality, I'd think she wouldn’t be caught saying "baby/babe" that often. Once as a slip up, yes,
(as I've seen some of the CSI episodes where she has.. And it was utterly hilarious!) but I felt as though she said it a few times too many - even if Grissom was in a situation like that.
I also feel as though Gris' wouldn’t say what he did, unless provoked..
It would make things more believable if you put more emphasis on his situation, and how mentally and morally wounded he was. That would make the statement of him saying "I'm a big boy now." more real, if only by a little bit.
In the last chapter when they end up together, my gut feeling tells me that they'd still remain slightly detached. Meaning that instead of “Hi, honey. Good shift?”
"Good shift?" would be its replacement.
Have you seen the episode of CSI where Gris' "proposes" to Sara? When he says "Maybe we should get married", and they close in for their first 'on-scene kiss' (they were blocked by bee-keeper helmets, though, since they were doing some sort of bug related activity)? This is kind of on the topic of being shy/detached/modest/whatever/etc.
Probably because even when they were alone, they still managed to have that whole "I'm not used to a relationship" aura.
To help along my previous paragraph I'm going to quote a magazine article I read some time back, when it said something along the lines of "..they'd never let anyone find out about their relationship".
Speaking of the epilogue.. I was devastated!
When I read the first few paragraphs I actually thought the "bug man" had passed away. To my relief, he didn’t.
If Grissom did, however, you could expect a lower rating!
Haha.. A little humor for you there.
Now please excuse me, I'm off to read more of your fanfics!,
| Sentray chapter 1 . 7/19/2008
I've only read the prologue so far, so I'm not sure how helpful I'll be.. However I felt as though I must comment.
I've been thinking of writing something myself, and to read this (even though I've only seen 2 paragraphs at the moment) is inspiring. Its very descriptive - which is a good thing, considering some stories I've read seriously lack a good overall picture. That being said, the sentence;
"Most of his concentration was steadfastly committed to the empty ribbon before him, while a smaller, more introspective grey-mattered gremlin flitted and danced, recapturing the preceding weekend that had amassed one incredible cluster fuck piled atop another."
was a tad too descriptive, and I had to read it over at least 3 times to understand its true meaning (even now I'm still a little confused).
Anyhow, I look forward to reading the rest of this, and your other stories.
| Scourge of Nemo chapter 12 . 2/3/2008
That was ridiculously intense from beginning to end. Great job!
~IGC t DM
| Mette1 chapter 12 . 7/22/2007
my eyes are red from crying. It's so sad, but oh so very, very good! Poor, poor Grissam.
| Quill-32 chapter 12 . 7/18/2007
A fascinating and intricate look at Grissom's psyche and potential past. A bit florid, but I'll take that over lack of description any day! Very tension-making, and I like the fact that they can just relax together in the end.
| JaysEmm chapter 12 . 6/26/2007
This is just wonderful, so sad but such a lovely ending.
| chiops chapter 10 . 11/28/2006
This chapter was just pure heartbreak. I swear, you succeeded that I could virtually hear Grissom's heart break when Sara joked with him. I am glad this story is already finished, so I will get the conclusion soon. Thanks for this compelling story!