|Reviews for Pink Someday|
| Sienna03 chapter 1 . 7/25/2006
Interesting concept. Marlene sounded a bit mature for her age, but I'll let it slide because 1) She's a young child who's seen a lot and 2) this piece was lovely.
The concept and flow of the piece were both very nice, and I really liked the framework you employed to move towards your ending.
Anyway, great job in all and I hope to see more from you soon!
| Hazen S. Redfield chapter 1 . 5/18/2006
To answer your question, Cloud's eyes are blue. The in-game sprite, FMVs, and all official artwork, including Advent Children portrayed Cloud with blue eyes. Sephiroth has green eyes, but Cloud has blue.
I like this story. Marlene did sound a bit mature, but growing up in the world she is growing up in, I think she had to learn things early and be a little more "grown-up." Judging by the way she was animated in Advent Children I'd say she's about eight or nine years old, so maybe she was a bit too mature in this story, but you wrote a good one.
| Guest chapter 1 . 3/21/2006
I like the idea of the story and it flows well and is well written, but as Marlene's point of view, considering its the time directly prior to the events in Advent Children, she's not more than six, seven at the most. With it being in her perspective, I think some of the vocabulary you use is too sophisticated for her. I'm sure she's more mature than most kids her age should be, but looking at her character in the film, she is still a kid. She still pouts and some things she doesn't grasp and doesn't understand as an adult would. The sentence structures seem a little bit too complex for her, as well. I don't think going for the simplest sentence structures would be appropriate for the piece though. Simple subject-verb-object would seem too dummied down. It'd become tedious just hearing, "Cloud's eyes are blue. I memorize their sadness." But with your sentence structures (all of them), you've got clauses thrown everywhere and appositives and it's very organized and the thoughts are clear. That makes it seems too mature. It doesn't seem fitting. I'd recommend maybe just creating a balance. Showing some simplicity in her thoughts with some of the sentence structure but still keeping that stream-of-consciousness you have flowing through your already existing ones.
Besides that, the idea seems fitting. Her interpretations of the colors are complex, but as a rationalization it's very simple. "The lifestream is green. Green means life... Tifa bleeds red. Red means anger." It's basic. It's easy to see that's how a child would understand the world around them.
I enjoyed it.
(Cloud's eyes are blue, by the way. There's a slight inner ring that's green around the pupil because of the mako, but the bulk of the iris is deep blue.)