|Reviews for Shots Fired|
| Ain't no man chapter 3 . 6/5/2007
hey hadn't checked out your story in awhile so I went back to read it all the way through and was just caught up on your over use of the word man. Come on, you can't tell me that was the only word you could think of? what about Bud? Buddy? Dude? Pal? or hell even just using their given names. come on dude, your story is good but it's just that one little thing that's tearing your whole story down.
| sky's girl forever chapter 2 . 4/6/2007
you have to update soon!
| oracle-man chapter 1 . 9/15/2006
| dark-girl-faith-sidle chapter 1 . 7/12/2006
love the story :)
| DuelMadnessSetoKaiba chapter 1 . 6/19/2006
| Lisa chapter 1 . 6/16/2006
Brilliant piece of writing - looking forward to the next chapter.
| Celtic Dreams chapter 1 . 4/6/2006
Whilst the premise for the story is a good idea, you may want to watch the tnese of text you are using. It is much easier to read if it is written in past tense - you will find that the story will flow better.
Also watch things like punctuation - the use of capital letters for the beginning of sentences and for proper nouns. Another suggestion would be the use of punctuation marks such as commas, colons and semi-colons. You will find it will have much more impact.
Other feedback givers have said how great your story is and one commented it was the best that they had read. Just think how much better it could be if you follow these simple steps.
Read other authors works to see how they pace their stories and use correct punctuation.
In all - a good idea - would like to see more.
| Sulwyn hint hint chapter 1 . 3/29/2006
Hey I think it is AWESOME! The next chapter should be something about how Mary helps him get through everything, or what he does/believes in to pull himself through. That's all I got...
| Kelly Mc chapter 1 . 3/27/2006
Your off to a good start, updating any time soon?
| ArodLoverus2001 chapter 1 . 3/25/2006
awesome start! plz update soon!
| Fortunetellers Melody chapter 1 . 3/25/2006
This was pretty good. Hope that Danny is okay. Please, update soon.
| crittle87 chapter 1 . 3/24/2006
wow i haven't read a good vegas story in a while. I really like it. But to one writer to another...it could use some more detail. you know about the surroundings, feelings, etc.. But besides that you have a making of a great story. I hope you keep updating soon.
| Sylvia chapter 1 . 3/23/2006
i love the fanfic!looking forward for more:)
| khowell chapter 1 . 3/23/2006
I really like it so far. Can't wait to read more when it's updated.
| McBeth.ML chapter 1 . 3/23/2006
Great start! Can't wait for more!