|Reviews for Crystals|
| Aisling66 chapter 4 . 8/19/2012
I sure hope Jareth shows up.
| myladyswardrobe chapter 3 . 4/7/2010
(continued - see review on Chapter 4).
What little I have seen of Lord F'arnir, he has that nobility and presence - even if he is clearly the bad guy (which can be far more chilling than an ugly monster! Well done!).
Characterisaton of Sarah:
What little has been seen of Sarah so far is great. Spot on. She isn't the whiny snivelling teenager - she seems to have grown up.
However, after, what is it? 8 years?, she is still thinking of Jareth? I think it would have had more impact if there had been no reference to the Labyrinth episode at all until she met Lord F'arnir - his intrusion into her mind would have brought it all back immediately.
Perhaps it could then have surprised her - she may have dismissed it as merely a dream or something. But it coming back, then made her fight back as you showed.
She could be seen looking over those recovered memories and they can then help her with what she will now be facing.
Her language is spot on for a human girl of her age. Though, if she does get to meet Jareth - can she have respect for his authority and status as a King?
Looking forward to more.
(sorry about the split & backwards review - is being silly)
| myladyswardrobe chapter 4 . 4/7/2010
Wow! Just read all 4 chapters and I really feel this has huge potential. So far, I am gripped and am very intrigued as to where this will go.
I have a few comments which I hope will be helpful.
Language/Interaction with the Fae characters:
This is probably just a personal view, but I felt that the Fae characters so far are not much different from Human characters. Your descriptions of how they move around and do things and also how they speak make them seem more...human.
The Fae are a noble and ancient race. They have, possibly, an inflated view of themselves. Even though Jareth and Vlad have, in effect, rejected Fae societal norms, I doubt they would have rejected their race's inherent nobility. Therefore, everything they do and how they speak would be more formal and precise. It would give a very distinct difference between the Human world, when the reader sees Sarah, and the Fae World.
Any of the Fae should have that formality - I felt there was too much colloquial or slang speech. However, I can see Kithis being less formal - it can be a clue to his backstory. I cannot see Jareth emulating him. Jareth is a King. He has cleaned up his castle and realm - his behaviour would match this. So far, in his manner and speech, Solaris seems more royal than Jareth.
| notwritten chapter 4 . 4/4/2010
Interesting to read. Keep smiling. :-)
| tichtich2 chapter 4 . 4/4/2010
:o O. ! the last ending was AWSOME! im glad sarah decided to shout back i thought she was just going to take it but she didint which is good ... for sarah to be weak is so un-sarah like. i wounder wat will happen next ... do u think he'll beat her into an inch of her life with her saying nothing and she axedentily wishing her self away ? nah i didnt think so as much as id love that to happen i think we all know that it wont because 1. i dont think the story would ended so simply and 2. i dont think she'll get the chance. who ever this guy is he seems like a right retard and i hope sarah gets her own back in some way ... does she get powers ?:O god i hope so that would be even more awsome.
anyways before i bore you with my stupid theories thanks for a great fanfic and i hope you update soon im really enjoying this.
your faithfull reviewer
| bra4goten chapter 3 . 5/13/2008
I love it. Very good and well written. Hope you update soon cause I'm dying to know what happens next...
| notwritten chapter 3 . 5/12/2008
I like this chapter which you have written today. Have a enjoyable day tomorrow. Keep smiling. :-) More please.
| LadyAlira chapter 2 . 4/1/2006
Nice going so far. Can't believe you had Jareth cut his gorgeous hair though... lol... wonder how Sarah will react to that one :)