Reviews for Grey Maiden I: Philosopher's Stone
Guest chapter 8 . 8/14/2016
no horcruxes? none? thats a pretty huge change, what'd voldermort do instead then?
Guest chapter 8 . 8/14/2016
nott is being a bro
Guest chapter 4 . 8/12/2016
harry is being a dick.
immediately hates poor malfoy because of his parentage...how is that better than the mudblood thing?
for all harry knew malfoy was going to warn him off the magical racists! ...i mean he wasn't... but harry didn't know that. didn't give malfoy the chance to deserve that reaction.
Guest chapter 2 . 8/11/2016
left without a word to his friends? weird
Guest chapter 2 . 8/11/2016
abandoned those poor houselves :(
mckertis chapter 11 . 7/18/2016
Ah fuck, you're one of those idiots who feel it is their sacred duty to put sheets upon sheets of A\N's after every bloody chapter and annoy your readers.
mckertis chapter 9 . 7/18/2016
Terrible characterization and big mistakes in events timing. Pretty bad overall.
mckertis chapter 5 . 7/18/2016
This chapter "changed substantially", huh ?
Yet it still has "I'm havent kidnapped you" and "we she helped you".
rifful chapter 5 . 7/14/2016
I think the problem here so far is that your just following the canon script, (with perhaps some added exaggerations) even after drastically altering your character's background with the initial concept. A Slytherin Harry (that grew up loved and informed, with a proper guardian) WOULDN'T be in exactly the same situations and relationships, or behaviors. The question is how would his first year be different: your answer so far, not at all.
E chapter 15 . 3/21/2016
This is really good
Guest chapter 7 . 9/17/2015
sorry but if this is how a slytherin Harry should be, I feel extremely disappointed.
you portrait Harry too weak of mind in here, no cunningness and no slyness worth of Slytherin whatsoever.
Nubya chapter 1 . 8/9/2015
This line, 'A decision that had been made, and that was that' along with this line, 'There were a number of gasps, and several women broke into tears' need to be revised as they make the story appear very melodrama, which is bad as it takes away from the story. The first one I would just get rid of and the second one I would revise.

I would like to say however that the Black scenes were done very well! I really like how you wrote him and I would have to agree with the thought that before he went to prision he was more rash with his decisions.

Along with those two aforementioned provisions, I would rework the whole site of our wedding day picture makes me burst into tear and replay it in my head trope. It hurt to read that, not necessarily what was writen, but how it was written. Since we are talking about tropes, the whole ex-secret-agent-anti intelligence-doesnt-wanna-be-found trope realllly was overdone, mainly when you made dumbledore bring it up (that she would be impossible to find n what not)

Not sure if you even come on this site anymore, but thought I'd post it anyways. Cheers!
Selande chapter 9 . 9/14/2014
Loved the chapter! Poor Harry - just the images you evoked - I was afraid of Daphne when she broke his hand by slamming that book magically. OUCH ! I'm sure she's also not quite right in the head, she lost her family as well as best friend and only has Harry now. While it may have helped heal her a bit, I think you show that sometimes, her own angst just comes screaming out and boy... is it terrifying! Excellent writing. You have done a fantastic job on this fic - really wish I had read this sooner, but then I'm glad I'm reading it now at least. Cheers!
Selande chapter 6 . 9/14/2014
I definitely agree to the changes. I was reading your story on siye and noticed in the note to chapter 8 that you mentioned that there was more author notes on this site. Curious, I checked it out and also saw that you updated the story on this site. After skimming through the first few chapters, it became apparent that I just had to start reading this site's version instead. I still liked where you were going in the siye version (I was in tears at the end of chapter 7!), I do agree that this one makes a bit more sense. Though really, being AU, you can do anything you want! ;) I just love a Slytherin Harry, even though it tends to break my heart as he has just so many more struggles, it truly makes a story shine and makes me root for Harry throughout it all. Granted, since I was reading SIYE, I'm still hoping that this becomes HP/GW as they are my favorite pairing. Cheers!
Teagrannymcmlxiii chapter 15 . 7/24/2014
lovely believable story.
I always thought the obstacle course in this book was remarkably bloodless and that if Quirrel was indeed willingly possessed the Voldemort would have had much more control of the body than was written by Rowling. Newfoundland was a good out of the way choice for Harry to grow up... they're good hardy folks, newfies that is.
Looking forward the the rest of the series.
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