|Reviews for Grey Maiden I: Philosopher's Stone|
| rifful chapter 5 . 7/14
I think the problem here so far is that your just following the canon script, (with perhaps some added exaggerations) even after drastically altering your character's background with the initial concept. A Slytherin Harry (that grew up loved and informed, with a proper guardian) WOULDN'T be in exactly the same situations and relationships, or behaviors. The question is how would his first year be different: your answer so far, not at all.
| E chapter 15 . 3/21
This is really good
| Guest chapter 7 . 9/17/2015
sorry but if this is how a slytherin Harry should be, I feel extremely disappointed.
you portrait Harry too weak of mind in here, no cunningness and no slyness worth of Slytherin whatsoever.
| Nubya chapter 1 . 8/9/2015
This line, 'A decision that had been made, and that was that' along with this line, 'There were a number of gasps, and several women broke into tears' need to be revised as they make the story appear very melodrama, which is bad as it takes away from the story. The first one I would just get rid of and the second one I would revise.
I would like to say however that the Black scenes were done very well! I really like how you wrote him and I would have to agree with the thought that before he went to prision he was more rash with his decisions.
Along with those two aforementioned provisions, I would rework the whole site of our wedding day picture makes me burst into tear and replay it in my head trope. It hurt to read that, not necessarily what was writen, but how it was written. Since we are talking about tropes, the whole ex-secret-agent-anti intelligence-doesnt-wanna-be-found trope realllly was overdone, mainly when you made dumbledore bring it up (that she would be impossible to find n what not)
Not sure if you even come on this site anymore, but thought I'd post it anyways. Cheers!
| Selande chapter 9 . 9/14/2014
Loved the chapter! Poor Harry - just the images you evoked - I was afraid of Daphne when she broke his hand by slamming that book magically. OUCH ! I'm sure she's also not quite right in the head, she lost her family as well as best friend and only has Harry now. While it may have helped heal her a bit, I think you show that sometimes, her own angst just comes screaming out and boy... is it terrifying! Excellent writing. You have done a fantastic job on this fic - really wish I had read this sooner, but then I'm glad I'm reading it now at least. Cheers!
| Selande chapter 6 . 9/14/2014
I definitely agree to the changes. I was reading your story on siye and noticed in the note to chapter 8 that you mentioned that there was more author notes on this site. Curious, I checked it out and also saw that you updated the story on this site. After skimming through the first few chapters, it became apparent that I just had to start reading this site's version instead. I still liked where you were going in the siye version (I was in tears at the end of chapter 7!), I do agree that this one makes a bit more sense. Though really, being AU, you can do anything you want! ;) I just love a Slytherin Harry, even though it tends to break my heart as he has just so many more struggles, it truly makes a story shine and makes me root for Harry throughout it all. Granted, since I was reading SIYE, I'm still hoping that this becomes HP/GW as they are my favorite pairing. Cheers!
| Teagrannymcmlxiii chapter 15 . 7/24/2014
lovely believable story.
I always thought the obstacle course in this book was remarkably bloodless and that if Quirrel was indeed willingly possessed the Voldemort would have had much more control of the body than was written by Rowling. Newfoundland was a good out of the way choice for Harry to grow up... they're good hardy folks, newfies that is.
Looking forward the the rest of the series.
| BMS chapter 3 . 6/15/2014
Why would James move something to his trust vault he couldn't get until he was emancipated and would have access to the main Potter vault? Seems like emotional torture to make an orphan see that every time he came into his vault, makes James seem like an uncaring S.O.B. to me. Also considering he had a different upbringing Harry seems quite similar to cannon so far.
| A Week Of Sundays chapter 6 . 4/26/2014
This fic, seriously brings tears to my eyes. Reading books like this are interesting, but just from reading six chapters. ;(
| Guest chapter 1 . 3/11/2014
First time I've read a really good account of what happened. Pretty canon (except for the Daphne bit) too. I loved Sirius's part.
| xvector chapter 1 . 3/9/2014
AMAZING story. Truly phenomenal.
I love the emotions going through Harry. You make them feel so *real*, the emotions of the story are projected onto the reader... at points I felt as lonely as Harry, and shed man-tears.
I loved this story. I might have not been a fan of your second story, but this is a very good read- characters are spot-on, and Slytherin Harry is a new perspective - a breath of fresh air.
I hope you complete the series!
| a chapter 6 . 9/20/2013
This is just fucking ridiculous.
Harry has absolutely zero reason to remain in such a shite school.
| Noble Korhedron chapter 14 . 7/13/2013
"Ah, yes. Something about "not cleaning up your mess when it exploded in your face," it seems you were correct, my old friend. Nonetheless, there is no harm done."
"No harm done? Albus for Merlin's sake, think about what Dressler is going to do!"
Dumbledore winced. "I must admit that had slipped my mind. Let us make haste, these two need attention." *cracks up laughing at what Daphne will do to Snape and Dumbledork*
| old-crow chapter 15 . 6/30/2013
I liked your first story. This isn't the first time that I read it, but I appreciate the fact that the fanfiction site allows for easy revisions and replacements of chapters.
Regarding your ship flip as it is, it is a very divisive point among readers. In my own reading and writing I've encountered very few readers who like both Hermione and Ginny.
In your story's case and in the case of the fanfiction site, most storytellers list two characters, such as Harry and Hagrid. Most readers ass u me that a love interest is implied, rather than simply a listing of main characters.
Sometimes the best move is simply not to play; meaning not to list a second character and never take anything beyond being pals.
Readers can be strange creatures.
| old-crow chapter 9 . 6/30/2013
I especially enjoyed your scene in the carriage where Harry sticks up for Neville; explaining his parents' situation to Hermione. That was a great display of character.