|Reviews for Helping Things Along|
| RadicalReason chapter 1 . 10/26/2008
| Bagge chapter 2 . 6/1/2006
Wow! Wonderful. Two Weasley heroics put together, and two Gryffindor cheering songs. Mighty fun. I also enjoy the fact that it was clean games for once - even Goyle's putting Harry out of action was ackording to the rules, and nothing worse than the twins did to Malfoy. Ron's last save was truly spectacular. Good thing someone was ready with the wand there.
| Bagge chapter 1 . 6/1/2006
Aw. Cute. Nice of Charlie to give his litle sis a shot at flying. Almost makes up for him refusing to teach her in daylight. Wonderful little Burrow-story. I especially love their little rutinously sibling-brawl. "he sat on her, banged her head on the floor a couple of times in a gentle, brotherly kind of way"
| EvilFireWitch chapter 2 . 4/25/2006
Cute. Definitely cute. In the first two paragraphs, you list actions and end with "and generally" did this. Both times. I'd say it's "generally" overused... ;) With so many words in the English language and so much talent on your part, I'm sure you can come up with an even more awesome way to put it so that it's not redundant!
K, this bugs me: "I'll fly so well I'll get into the Quidditch team..." Wouldn't it be "onto" the team...? Nitpicky, but that's okay. :)
This one is short but in a GOOD way. So good job!
Also, about chapter 1-Did you rewrite that one? I read it again, but it's been a while and I'm not entirely sure if it's different, or if it's just me... I'm going to assume it's rewritten, because I believe you sent me a message about that, so: Much better, but I'm still not really seeing the POINT. Honestly, I think it'd be more appropriate to reverse the order of the chapters, and insert somewhere in between, somehow, exactly how Ron felt about Charlie's involvement in Quidditch, the same way you did with Ginny. It would tie it all together, I think. Or something like that, not necessarily exactly as I've said. Your baby! . Still, I did notice an improvement. My only other suggestion on the first chapter has to do with the scoring in the matches. Or more specifically, Charlie's match. You're either horrible at math, or you're skipping through time without telling us. When you're switching from present to flash-back, you really shouldn't speed the flash-back forward rather than picking up where the flash-back left off, without telling us so. It's already confusing enough to readers to go through the two different stories at once-don't make it worse. You want to keep their attention, not distract them with a "...Whaht...?" By picking up where you left off, even if you don't really want to, it could do a lot for the story. You ought to at least try it, just for yourself, and see where it gets you. That, or say something like, "It had taken Slytherin the past twenty minutes to make just one more goal, but now..." blah blah. Something that would indicate the TIME passage even in the flashback.
I'm rambling. .
| Maria chapter 2 . 4/22/2006
Great, but I thought each time they score they only get 10 points, not 20? Did I misread?
| EvilFireWitch chapter 1 . 4/18/2006
This is not quite the work of art your others have been. I see you have a great start, and obviously a good idea of where this is headed, but the story lacks a point. Ron and Charlie's similarities in situations and victories, etc., is somehow not enough in the way you've presented it. Perhaps a bit more Ron toward the middle? The length, in this case, only detracts from the story, as you have much more you could tell, if you wanted to. I'm not saying necessarily to give a play-by-play Quidditch match of Ron's as you did for Charlie, but to give your story meaning. Why did you write this? Make your readers see inside your head. This fic could totally rock, if you'd just work with it a bit more!
Don't give up, and definitely don't quit writing-I love your work! .
| Mocked and Dismayed chapter 2 . 3/30/2006
Haha. I bet she would have, having the twins for brothers. I like it. Are you going to write another chapter?