Reviews for Superiority Claims All
Asher Elric chapter 1 . 9/7/2008
Okay. I do like the idea but...

1 - Do not put A/N's in the naration. It ruins the flow and brings me back to reality, of which I dested.

and

2 - The flash back was all right, but I would try to go without a flash back, if you try to write original work,t he flash backs will only take away from the prose and we don't want that.

ta,

Professor Know It All
Fireword chapter 1 . 8/17/2006
Hey, neat fic! I like the Ed-loves-Roy-but-Roy-loves-Riza-but-Riza-loves-Havoc-and-he-loves-her-back kinda thing. Please update, I'll be waiting :)
libaka chapter 1 . 7/11/2006
eheh. this made me laugh. nice job!
Anicka chapter 1 . 4/2/2006
You have to update soon! I loved this chapter!
PANKU-Kouhai chapter 1 . 3/31/2006
great job... there was some problems(grammer wise n such) but nothing that really turned me away. i'm absoulutely dying to know what happens. Please update, the story really has a great set up for later chapters.
The New Fullmetal Alchemist chapter 1 . 3/30/2006
um.. not too bad... it isn't the spelling that bothers me so much as the grammar - you have a whole heaping lot of reference errors, not to mention quite a few of your sentences were just plain un-readable. that and you have no legitimate system set up regarding which character is thinking or saying what. It's a good concept, I do like it, but it's just so incredibly hard to follow. I don't like flames (unless it's from Roy) and I hate to be a critic, but you really need to go back and proof-read. because even though i know where you're going with it, it's still hard to understand what's happening. it's like you got on a sugar-high and slammed a bunch of stuff down on your keyboard. take you time a little! have someone read over it so they can tell you what doesn't make sense, what needs to be cleared up, and what really works. I can't wait to see the next chapter - and hopefully a couple of technical improvements. (once again i hate being a "bad" critic - i'm so sorry! but it really is a good idea - you just need to nourish it!)