|Reviews for Superiority Claims All|
| Asher Elric chapter 1 . 9/7/2008
Okay. I do like the idea but...
1 - Do not put A/N's in the naration. It ruins the flow and brings me back to reality, of which I dested.
2 - The flash back was all right, but I would try to go without a flash back, if you try to write original work,t he flash backs will only take away from the prose and we don't want that.
Professor Know It All
| Fireword chapter 1 . 8/17/2006
Hey, neat fic! I like the Ed-loves-Roy-but-Roy-loves-Riza-but-Riza-loves-Havoc-and-he-loves-her-back kinda thing. Please update, I'll be waiting :)
| libaka chapter 1 . 7/11/2006
eheh. this made me laugh. nice job!
| Anicka chapter 1 . 4/2/2006
You have to update soon! I loved this chapter!
| PANKU-Kouhai chapter 1 . 3/31/2006
great job... there was some problems(grammer wise n such) but nothing that really turned me away. i'm absoulutely dying to know what happens. Please update, the story really has a great set up for later chapters.
| The New Fullmetal Alchemist chapter 1 . 3/30/2006
um.. not too bad... it isn't the spelling that bothers me so much as the grammar - you have a whole heaping lot of reference errors, not to mention quite a few of your sentences were just plain un-readable. that and you have no legitimate system set up regarding which character is thinking or saying what. It's a good concept, I do like it, but it's just so incredibly hard to follow. I don't like flames (unless it's from Roy) and I hate to be a critic, but you really need to go back and proof-read. because even though i know where you're going with it, it's still hard to understand what's happening. it's like you got on a sugar-high and slammed a bunch of stuff down on your keyboard. take you time a little! have someone read over it so they can tell you what doesn't make sense, what needs to be cleared up, and what really works. I can't wait to see the next chapter - and hopefully a couple of technical improvements. (once again i hate being a "bad" critic - i'm so sorry! but it really is a good idea - you just need to nourish it!)