|Reviews for Hopeless|
| Eryniel Alasse chapter 1 . 6/5
This is pretty good. I like the emotions and details that you captured through your word choice. However, there are a few problems, just some tiny ones. Do note that I only catch these errors because I'm a devout Tolkien fan, and most other people would probably not even notice them.
- Thangorodrim is misspelled. It should end with an "m," not an "n."
- At this point in Maedhros's story, he would most likely be known as Maitimo, Nelyafinwë, or even Russandol, but not Maedhros. Maedhros is a portmanteau of his amilessë and his epessë, and is definitely Sindarin, not Quenya. Since Maedhros was captured so soon (mere weeks) after arriving in Middle Earth, he would have had no chance to meet the Laiquendi (Green-elves, the Sindar), let alone learn their language.
- Likewise, Fingon would be known as Findekáno, the Quenya equivalent of his name. Perhaps his amilessë would be employed instead, but it's not known what it was. There's some speculation that it was "Astaldo," "Valiant," because that was his common title that followed his name. But we really don't know for certain what his mother-name truly was.
-Thorondor's role in his rescue is overlooked. It's said in the Silmarillion that Fingon tried to climb to reach Maedhros where he hung, but was defeated by the sheer cliffs. Maedhros begged Fingon to shoot him and end his torment, but Thorondor arrived just in time to block the missile and bear Fingon up to his cousin. Now, I understand that Maedhros may have been a little out of it from the pain, but you'd have to be unconscious to miss the arrival of an enormous eagle with a twenty-foot wingspan!
This really is a good story, and it's very original. If you just brushed up on your facts and canon a bit, it could be even better. I hope this helps any future stories you may choose to make!
| Rennet chapter 1 . 4/28/2014
This is awesome!
| Melannen Halfelven chapter 1 . 4/24/2006
*wipes a tear* lovely, absolutely lovely!
| elfchicks chapter 1 . 4/17/2006
Beautiful. I always liked that part and you did a very good job of capturing the moment
| Eriala chapter 1 . 4/7/2006
The only suggestion I could possibly make is: add more. This is good quality and very well written, but it hasn't got any ideas that the thousands of other variations on this story have. What new thoughts and details can you come up with?
| Yemi Hikari chapter 1 . 4/5/2006
Hi. I like it a lot. Puts the emotions out very well.
Question - Not really about your story. More of wondering why Silmarillion and Lord of the Rings have seperate listings? The Hobbit doesn't.
| The Battling Bard chapter 1 . 4/1/2006
Good story, you forgot the bit about Maedhros begging Fingon to kill him though. Very well written in any case.