|Reviews for What if?|
| noeliaf87 chapter 1 . 4/17
es buena la historia. seria espectacular si continuara el beso de la noria
| readingtothemoon chapter 1 . 9/30/2009
Great first story, interesting that a teacher always kissed the student before he found that she was older than she is. But still a nice angle on each scene. I always thought Sam loved Josie before he knew.
| Jill .E. Napier chapter 1 . 6/11/2009
This was pretty good. I kind of got confused in certain parts because I didn't get why she kept saying the line about her being a reporter about 4 times. So that's the only part that confused me. SORRY :( But I liked the ending alot. So ok
| S.A.Binx chapter 1 . 1/15/2009
Ok I really like these story(ies). I like the first and last ones the best. The other ones weren't as in depth as i would have liked them to be. But I like the idea. the first one is definatley my favorite. :)
| quinceasmince chapter 1 . 12/7/2008
An interesting experimentation into the movie. I know that the writers made the film a comedy and as such decided to only superficially deal with some of the deeper, moral issues, but you have a lot more writing freedom in fan-fiction.
You effectively recreated the original dialogue, but don't rely on them to carry your story: take the time to really delve into the two principal characters, and write their thoughts and fears and hopes and dreams. In other words, I wanted more description, more narrative. Don't be afraid to expand the dialogue - consider branching out and really revealing the character's thoughts between those lines.
The film provided a layered back-story for Josie, and back-stories are good gifts to fan-fiction writers as they provide the basis for meaningful, grounded character interpretation and exploration.
Well done on a neat piece of writing. In future, don't be afraid to expand from the dialogue and interpret the character's thoughts with more narrative. Keep up the good work.
| Johanna Black chapter 1 . 11/6/2008
aw! it was ttly cute!
| dadiva18 chapter 1 . 3/11/2008
| Leigh A. Sumpter chapter 1 . 2/19/2008
Awe. I thought the fair scene was definitely the best. Very cute. In the other scenes, I'm afraid, I didn't really believe Sam because he seemed so accepting of Josie being an undercover reporter. I think, no matter where you place it, he has to react more angrily. I think some of the other moments, such as the CD selections or the Dartmouth application, are less special for her first kiss than others. But all in all, cute first fic.
| shiningsoprano chapter 1 . 1/23/2008
Aww This is amazing
| M chapter 1 . 7/18/2007
OMG! That was AWESOME!
| Artus Gehn chapter 1 . 7/7/2007
Some of your proposed scenes were pretty cute but I agree with moonstar57(whatever). The movie was good because of all of those missed opportunities to kiss. It's the tension from the building up of those scenes and then the absence of a kiss that makes the movie worth watching. I agree with others that the best proposed scene was the first one however, if I remember the story's chronology correctly, that would have ended the movie far to soon.
| starbright37 chapter 1 . 6/30/2007
love it. I like the first one the best.
| SurfSupLad chapter 1 . 6/24/2007
aww! i thought it was so cute!
the only thing was that after she told him he probably would have gotten more mad or something instead of really calm like he did in the movie.
but since they were supposed to be happy and cute they were perfect!
my favourite was the fair one, i loved that scene! it was so cute !
| Bailey chapter 1 . 4/5/2007
I liked it, but I was confused. Was each scene her telling him about her, and then the next scene wasn't a continence? Anyway good job for your first.
| bob chapter 1 . 1/16/2007
I really liked the first version and the others were pretty good too.