|Reviews for The Luckiest Girl in the World|
| Anonimiss chapter 31 . 3/1
Interesting alternative version of this fanfic You write here. What about the alternative ending?
I see nothing wrong with Paulina's versions shown in fanfics like Yours. After all, I preffer fanfics based on the cartoon over the original story itself that sucks(in romantic case).
| Invader Johnny chapter 31 . 2/26
Well wow, this brought a hell of a lot of feelings of nostalgia.
Anyway, quite the long read but if there is anything that can be said about your interpretation of Paulina is that you gave her some good character development from time to time.
Invader Johnny Signing Off.
| Daniel6 chapter 31 . 2/26
I really enjoyed the alternate chapter 13 you posted. I liked the others. 13 just resonated within me.
| MaiAnh252 chapter 1 . 2/25
English is not my mother tongue so please forgive me if i make any gramma mistake in my review.
First, i want to say that i really like your fanfic. Being a fan of Paulina, i'm looking for a romantic fanfic with her as a main character. And your fanfic, that chapter with Paulina dances with Danny Phantom in Dash's party, make me feel happy when reading it. The reason i become a fan of Paulina is her two-side personality. She only cares about money and apperance but she like Danny Phantom because of his kindness and herotic. Your fanfic keeps that personality of her , that make me feel very interesting reading it.
Second, i feel disapointed about the ending... at first time reading it, because i want a happy ending for Paulina. I want Paulina and Danny become a couple at the end of the story. But after couple of times reading the last chapter, i think maybe ending like that more suitable with this fanfic. If Danny choose to be with Paulina, it Will make Sam hurt. Danny never want to hurt his best friend so it can't be happen. And now Paulina has changed and liked both human and ghost form of Danny, Danny can't ignore those sincere feeling of her . He feel like both of them, 2 beautiful girls and have in love with him from the bottom of their heart. He make a right dession : not to be with anyone of them , for now and for their sake. They all too young for a real ,serious relationship, i guess.
Final, i hope you will write more chapters. Maybe write about they go to university. And if that happens, i hope you will give us a true and happy ending.
P/s : i read your fanfic in my 18 birthday. It was a wonderful feeling.
| Guest chapter 29 . 2/4
OMG this fic was so well thought out! That book you are writting must be good. Its like you analized your own story to us to explain some things and to me it wasnt nesesary but maybe for others it was, but anyway I liked reading it, it made the story look cooler somehow and I enjoyed it more. The swich was really original. The characters were so well written Its hard to imagine someone completly hatting Paulina after reading this. Talking about that, I dont know if Sanchez is her cannon surname but I believe its a really comon one, like Garcia, at least I can tell you that I've met 3 Sanchezs, and I dont know a lot of people ( I live in LatinAmerica). Anyway I really enjoy this, so thanks for sharing! And even if it feels like a waste of time sometimes wrintting fanfics its a good practice, olso you can explore new rutes and ways of writting with the freedom of "bah its just fanfic" that you might use later, plus the insta feedback, and other stuff that you surelly already find out. Anyway thanks for the ride, it was great
| Guest chapter 12 . 2/4
I dont mind any pearings I am just here to see paulina freak aut! Haha I am no fan of Paulina but I dont dislike her either, its because you writte her so well that her character and story works, that can make all the difference, you can make an usually loved character bad and the other way araund to. This kind of swich seemed really original and well thought out, I am really enjoying it!
| PharaohJill chapter 30 . 1/16
Your story kept me intrigued to the cliffhanging end. This has to be in my top 3 in FanFictions for everything, which is something hard to do since I'm so picky, and I have to say I can not wait for more. I can appreciate great writing when I see it and give ya Kudos (: My hopes are that you continue on with the sequel! I will be looking forward to it!~
| imekitty chapter 29 . 12/29/2016
Part 29 notes:
Final part! Yay.
My author's note: Indeed, I need to better convey Danny's thought processes concerning these girls in his life. I thought it would be obvious considering his actions in the show, but I can't rely on readers picking up on all of that...
Should I have Paulina respond more to being overshadowed by Kitty?
Paulina gives Sam a devious look? My thought was that Paulina still doesn't like Sam. Sure, she's changed, but her views on Sam are still more or less the same. She lived AS Sam, but she never got to know Sam like she got to know Danny and Tucker. If I want to keep this in, I need to better convey that.
Originally, Danny became a little cross with Sam after she pulled the "I've always liked both sides of you" card. I took it out because it seemed way too mean on his part, and I didn't want to upset my readers anymore than I had. :b And it was more my own personal thing I wish I could yell at Sam for rather than something I think Danny would actually call her out on, so I took it out. I'll probably post it as a bonus deleted scene.
The last line is meant to be humorous, but I think maybe it's too confusing? :/ It's just that Paulina definitely has a sense of humor, and I wanted to demonstrate that here even when she's been defeated. She's no quitter!
This ending is meant to lead right into the sequel. However, I think for the rewrite, I would offer three endings: one with Danny and Paulina, one with Danny and Sam, and one leading into the sequel. Then, readers could go with whatever satisfies them. :)
Overall, there are parts of this fic that I'm definitely not happy with, but I'm pleased with what I have written! It doesn't need a big overhaul at all, honestly, but it still definitely needs a rewrite. Fun to reread, though! I was very passionate about this story even if it was just a fanfic, and it definitely shows! And I think my readers could tell just how much I loved it, too, even with all of its flaws.
| imekitty chapter 28 . 12/28/2016
Paulina doesn't want Danny looking at Sam like that which is why she tries to distract him. I should probably mention Paulina feeling threatened about how good Sam looks.
Dash being sad instead of violent about Paulina's choice. He concedes defeat at last. I like it.
Sam just really hates Paulina and wants to believe that she's plotting something dastardly. Paulina tends to cloud her normal intelligence, causing her to jump to this conclusion over and over again even if there very well might be another explanation.
Tucker is still hopeful. :3
A reviewer said he thought that Sam was angsty in this part. After rereading it, though, I really don't see it. This is honestly how she acts in the show, and I don't really see any angst, mostly just irritation and some desperation. Maybe it was just the part where she tells Tucker to leave her alone? Maybe I would revise that, then...but then again, my thought was that she was still coming off a bit from how Paulina felt right before she switched back. Myeeeeh...I'll think on this for the rewrite. Sam comes off as a very choleric teen in the show who simply MUST her way at any cost, and that's what I was trying to convey here. I love Sam as a character, but she can be very mean and unreasonable.
| imekitty chapter 27 . 12/28/2016
Danny's neck cramping from turning too fast. Doncha hate when that happens? :b
Originally, I had Paulina accidentally reveal that she knew Danny was the ghost boy. I changed it to be deliberate because it felt too cartoony. I imagine it could happen like that in the actual show, but it just didn't feel right in the slightly alternate world I had created here.
Danny immediately assuming she's overshadowed...after all he's been through at this point, I do think that would be his first reaction regarding Paulina. I would think that he would wonder why his ghost sense wasn't going off, but when Kitty overshadowed Paulina, he had no idea, so maybe overshadowing doesn't set off his ghost sense...?
Danny still doesn't trust her, but he definitely wants to. Should I delve into this more?
Hmm...maybe I shouldn't have it be so obvious that Paulina knows Delphine in the rewrite. Otherwise, Danny would not let it go so easily. I'll probably have him ask, but I won't have Paulina accidentally reveal that she knows that Delphine grants wishes.
Danny's reverise...it gets his feelings across through imagery rather than just narration, but I'm not really sure I like it. :/
I like the way I wrote their kiss, her chest bending back as he leans into her. Sensual! I wouldn't change that.
Originally, it was completely dark by the time Danny takes Paulina flying, so there were tons of stars. I changed it to still be sunset because, well...I was a stickler for details, and I knew that it wouldn't be that dark just yet so soon after school. :b But I would revise this so that it is indeed dark by the time they fly. I like the line about all of the stars being lucky. Maybe Paulina doesn't get him right after school. Maybe she goes to his house or something later.
Sam's explanation of how she felt while Paulina controlled her is good. I wouldn't change that. Sam believes that it really was her, but she is not sure why she was acting that way.
I might take out the picture thing. I don't want to make it so obvious...but then again, it's what keeps Sam convinced that Paulina is not to be trusted.
Haha, my author's note at the end. Even back then, I knew that there were problems with this, and when I read it now, I still agree. Could I write it better now? I honestly have no idea. :/
| imekitty chapter 26 . 12/27/2016
Part 26 notes:
My author's note saddens me. I can feel how much I was hurting from some reviews I was getting, the anxiety, the guilt. I was so afraid to post the rest of the stories. My heart would nearly give out every time I posted a new part. I'd have to immediately get up and walk off the anxiety and fear as best I could. When I saw that I had reviews, I would often put off reading them for a little while, gear myself up before shakily breathing deep and going through them. I would read them mostly because I knew it would be rude of me to not read them, but I was SO. SCARED. Every time. The only reason I was able to post the rest of the story was because I knew that even if they didn't like the ending, it would be even more disappointing to my readers for me to not finish it. And honestly, the great majority of my reviews were wonderfully positive! It was just those few bad ones that affected me the most. I liked the genuinely helpful criticisms, but the ones that were snappish, angry, or questioned my decisions and abilities as a writer really went deep. I don't know if I can say I am stronger now than I was ten years ago, but I am definitely more mature. For a rewrite, I would not respond in this passive, defensive way, at least not in my author's notes. :b And I would graciously take all reviews into consideration.
Anyway, onto the story, haha. I like how Paulina takes down her picture of Danny Phantom. It shows that she really does like Danny Fenton now, and that she sees her feelings for Phantom as just a silly crush that didn't really mean anything.
Paulina probably wouldn't eat cereal...
I like how I have her struggle with her old habits and personality. It just hasn't been that long, and she's new to acting nicer with her old company. BUT I might still revise this and have her not be mean at all...hmm.
Paulina should reflect more on what "she" said to Sam the previous day before going up to Danny.
When I originally wrote this, I just wanted Danny to agree to talk to Paulina somewhat quickly because I didn't want to drag the story out anymore and annoy my readers. It seems so quick, though. Should I at least get into Danny's head a little more? More about why he decides to talk to Paulina? Think of something more profound for Paulina to say to get him to talk to her?
| imekitty chapter 25 . 12/27/2016
My author's note: Still trying to explain things. It seemed like my reviewers wanted a story with no tension or challenges, like they just wanted Paulina to change so easily and for the climax and ending to be easy. :b That is NOT something I would change for the rewrite. I love all of the underhanded things Paulina does, and she still is a girl in love, after all, even after the discoveries she has made. She can see that the OLD her wasn't any good for Danny, but she thinks the NEW her could be.
Paulina genuinely likes Danny now and now wants to him to genuinely like her. Get more into this?
Why Sam come up to Danny? And wouldn't Paulina WANT Sam to talk to Danny, to foster a relationship even before she switches back?
Paulina sees Sam as herself, not actually hurt by the comments at all, just ashamed that she could be so cruel.
I would change Delphine's dialogue to fit her revised motives.
I like how Paulina is pushed to finally wish to be herself again by seeing how cruel she can be.
| imekitty chapter 24 . 12/26/2016
Part 24 notes:
In the rewrite, Paulina should reflect more on why she feels so differently about Fenton and Phantom. I also think I need to better explain how her love for Phantom is diminishing...what that really means.
Kitty-n in "Litterbox Warriors 5," haha. It's a reference to one of my favorite video games, Bust a Move: Dance & Rhythm Action.
"If she hid it, he wouldn't know her discomfiture." I need to explain this better. It's confusing, haha. It took me a moment to realize what I meant in context with the sentences before it.
I need to get more into her reason for wanting to be Sam a little longer.
More at the theater? More about her feelings for Danny?
I really like how I had Paulina be so underhanded! A lot of readers did not like this at all, like they thought that Paulina hadn't learned anything from all this. Honestly, this makes the story so much interesting and gives the climax an extra kick! And Paulina hasn't changed so much that she's now above being so deceptive to get what she wants. I do think I need to have her agonize over the dilemma at least somewhat, though. I need to also show that she still doesn't really like Sam at this point. Sure, she's been living as Sam, but she hasn't gotten to know Sam like she's gotten to know Danny and Tucker, so she still probably has the same feelings as before about Sam. I need to make that clear in the rewrite so that my readers will understand better.
| imekitty chapter 23 . 12/25/2016
Something quick for part 22 that I forgot to say: It's so much better that Paulina saw Danny transform rather than figuring it out on her own from all of the clues! Way more interesting, way more fun to write...especially for a character like Paulina.
Part 23 notes:
Barry Manilow reference in the beginning! The song playing is "Could It Be Magic." I don't think this would ever actually be played at a high school dance, but my thought at the time was that the DJ had abandoned his station, and the album that came up just happened to be a Barry Manilow one. No reviewers seemed to get this reference, though, so I never had to explain it, haha.
All of the clues, even the ones she never considered, make sense to her now! I like how hard it hits her (and how obvious it really is in the end!).
I will need to revise Tucker's exchange with Paulina about Danny being the "ghost boy" so that it isn't so suspicious. Maybe I should just have Paulina NOT use the term "ghost boy"? They would never suspect she switched lives with Sam if she didn't use that term.
This scene with Dash isn't SUPER necessary. I mean, it makes for some good tension at the end of the story, but I think I need to develop Dash better if I want to keep it. I knew there was a problem when I wrote this scene which is why I had to add a scene with Dash and Paulina at his house party (and, fortunately, when I wrote this scene, I still hadn't uploaded part eight...this is why it's good to write ahead before actually uploading!). I'm not convinced this scene is enough, though. I might ask for some nice reviewers to answer these questions for me...
Dash taking it out on Danny...I wouldn't take this out, but I probably make it less violent. Or not? Hmm.
I write the songs that make the whoooooole world siiiiing~
I need to rewrite the last line so it's clear that Danny being a "loser" is NOT being posited or as a fact or even as Paulina's actual opinion of him. I just wanted it to mean that Paulina fell in love with Phantom when she thought Danny was a loser, so she's amazed that she could have such a different opinion of his other side.
| imekitty chapter 22 . 12/25/2016
Part 22 notes:
My author's note: Boy, I was just getting more and more irritated with my reviewers. They kept commenting that Paulina was too stupid and that she should've realized that Danny is Phantom by now with all of these clues and that I was just dragging it out. First, I just really wanted the reveal to be at the dance, but the dance had to be on a Friday night, so I just had time constraints to work with. Second, there are tons and tons of obvious clues in the show for all of the characters, but NONE of them figure it out based on those clues alone. Each non-ghost (and half-ghost) person who has discovered Danny's secret in the show figured it out because he actually transformed in front of him or her (there may or may not be exceptions to this; I don't remember for sure). At times, it's passed off in the show as "cartoon logic," but honestly, even in real life, I would believe this happening! Even I would probably not believe that a guy I knew was half-ghost unless he physically proved it to me. I dragged it out so that I could develop Paulina's views of Danny and herself BEFORE she finds out his secret. Because it bothered so many people, though, I am willing to reconsider this timeline and possibly condense it...but I don't know...I honestly don't have a problem with the time even after rereading it. I don't think it's too slow at all. But I'm just a sucker for thoughtful character development! :b
I had Paulina wear a white dress ONLY because it's my second favorite color...but I think it would change to pink for the rewrite.
She finds Tucker ALMOST handsome, haha. I would change this so that she does think he's handsome.
Eh...why do I have Valerie tell Danny that she doesn't want a relationship right now? Why did she invite him to the dance, then? I might have to get into her reasoning a little more (i.e. she does like him more than anyone and so wouldn't want to go with anyone but him, but with her ghost fighting, she might think she's not ready...but then still, she probably would prefer to not go to the dance?). I might be able to weave this in better, make it have more of an impact on Danny's decisions later.
"Loser love." Haha, Danny likes three girls, and they do all like him to at least some extent! I actually like how the writers set up these relationships for him. I just wish they had explored them more in the show instead of just going straight for Sam...but maybe if it hadn't been cancelled so early?
Tucker talking about Danny's good points...honestly, yeah, Danny is only unpopular because he is such a dork! :b A lovable dork, but still a dork.
Originally, I had Paulina NOT mean her compliment to Tucker, but it just seemed too heartless even for her at this point in the story. I like it better that she didn't really want to say something nice about him, but that she does actually mean it when it comes out.
The big reveal, yaaaaaaaaaaaay.