|Reviews for What She Thought She Didn't Want|
| tanithlipsky chapter 18 . 4/16/2013
| Izzycullen6 chapter 6 . 1/17/2011
| PurpleHeart chapter 18 . 8/7/2010
Awesome Story :)
| Guest chapter 8 . 8/7/2010
| xoxokiss210 chapter 1 . 3/21/2010
| Jessica chapter 18 . 1/22/2009
You REALLY need a beta. This story is wrought with spelling and grammatical errors that a simple read through could have corrected not to mention the abhorrent OOC-ness of all of the characters, not just Brennan and Booth. You needed to spend some time figuring out who they were and why they were the way they were so it would show through in your writing. It was obvious to anyone reading that you don’t really know Temperance Brennan and Seeley Booth, you were just using their caricatures in a high drama situation.
But what I really wanted to review about was that people don’t just discover a year or two later that a child has Down’s Syndrome. Down’s is a chromosomal condition caused by an extra 21st chromosome that causes not only mental deficiencies but very distinct and recognizable physical characteristics. Any doctor, even a doctor in 1978, would have known the second that Lizzie was born that she had Down’s syndrome and even if the Brennans (or the Keenans as they had been back then) would have had to go through a lot to adopt a special needs child, something they wouldn’t have qualified for if they were the Brennans because any background check would have revealed that Max Brennan was probably already dead and someone else was using his name or that he didn’t exist until just weeks before and if they were the Keenans then they were robbing banks and a financial check would have revealed that they had income they couldn’t explain. Not to mention its just tacky to mess with canon like that and throw in a third sibling.
| Desiqtie chapter 15 . 7/20/2008
So, despite the grammatical errors and OOCness of the characters, I kept reading just because I wanted to know what would happen. But the line 'Who would have thought that giving birth could be so difficult for a woman?' was just so...ludicrous, that I couldn't read anymore. Giving birth is extremely painful and often extremely difficult - and Booth would already know this. Most people already know this, and Booth is definitely not a clueless, first time father.
I've read some of the other reviews about the odd, out-of-character reactions and I absolutely agree with them. Brennan would not just be fine with having children, and she certainly wouldn't be so passive and let Booth make all the decisions. As for Booth, there's no way he would just leave the mother of his children in order to keep his career. There's just so much wrong with this story, I highly recommend you get a beta reader to edit this and fix it up. This isn't a flame, it's just my honest opinion about how you can fix your story.
| allymcnally chapter 18 . 3/21/2008
If Janson is Booth's made up brother whu not include Jared from the show? Why exactly would Brennan continue to live with him after he broke up with her without putting up a fight and then without andy drama get back together with him?
| atruwriter chapter 12 . 5/13/2007
I haven't read all of this story, I think I'm giving up actually. There are a lot of thing I really don't agree with overall. I don't think Booth would "break up" with Brennan and really... moving in five weeks later!... why didn't he just *tell* Cullen they weren't seeing each other if they were still going to be living together and raising their children together? Then they could still *be* together, Cullen wouldn't really know. Apparently Cullen doesn't have a problem with them living together only dating, but he wouldn't know what was really going on between them, would he? And I don't think Cullen would have been such a jackass about it. He had a daughter of his own and yes Brennan isn't his favorite person, but I don't think he'd want Booth to ABANDON her and their children. He's FBI for goodness sakes that's incredibly cold hearted! Also, it's been over five weeks since he and Brennan broke up, so wasn't he supposed to go under cover? That was Cullen's big thing, he goes undercover or he gets demoted and stays with Brennan. Overall, knowing Booth, I think he'd tell Cullen to go fuck himself and he'd stay with Brennan and his twins. Booth is a father first and foremost, he'd give up his job and everything it entailed if it involved Parker. So yeah, I'm sorry there are a lot of inconsistencies and OOC problems, so I think I'll just move on. I don't mean to be rude, but the flow of the story was beginning to irritate me and I felt you should know what problems lie there.
| Midnight's Angelic Guardian chapter 18 . 1/24/2007
Well, I read this entire thing and, for the most part, enjoyed it. There's just one thing I had a problem with that I felt should be addressed, and that is Tempe's reaction to her pregnancy. Now, maybe the reason you made this, what I think is a mistake, is because you simply didn't understand where she was coming from, so I want to enlighten you, as a woman who doesn't want children, to the realities of the situation.
I'll give you a bit of a background on my situation, so you can better understand why someone would make such a choice. I have never wanted children. From the time that I was a toddler, I never fantasized about getting married, raising a family, all that jazz. It was never something that I wanted. It's not that I don't like children, I just don't feel I am suited to being a mother. I'm not alone in this, there are many other women who feel the same way. From what I have seen of Temperance Brennan, this is who she is, as well. She doesn't dislike children, she just doesn't want any of her own. She has also expressed distaste for the idea of marriage, so she seems to be someone who doesn't view the role of women in the traditional light of wife and mother.
Given who Tempe has been shown to be, I cannot imagine her finding out she is pregnant and not having more reaction than a token protest that she 'never wanted children'. I know I wouldn't react that way. In the same light, I can't imagine someone who knows for sure that she never wants children relying on something as temperamental as the Pill for her only source of birth control. She would be much more likely to go for either an IUD, or perhaps a shot, or even a tubal ligation, which all have much lower failure rates than an oral contraceptive. Temperance Brennan is an extremely intelligent, educated woman. If she doesn't want children, she's not going to take the chance she's going to get saddled with any.
However, let's suspend disbelief for a moment and assume, by some strange twist of events, that she does get pregnant. She is not going to take that fact lying down. An abortion is highly probable, and you never did discuss why she didn't have one. She is the kind of person who considers her body her own, and she wouldn't let anyone else decide what she does with it. Her simply dismissing the option out of hand makes little to no sense, especially when you consider that she could probably cite several anthropological cases where women aborted their children throughout history for perfectly logical reasons. If, for some reason, she decided against an abortion, she would likely not become actively involved in creating a life for these children, simply because she does not want them.
All in all, I found your Tempe's reaction to her pregnancy entirely unrealistic. You didn't seem to address any of her opinions on having children. You just brushed them off. This is never a good idea, as it opens you up to questions about why you decided to skip them, and thus, to censure.
Please understand, this review is not intended as a flame. I just wanted to give you an idea of some of the reasons it was difficult to believe in your Tempe as a real person, the person the creators of the show have molded her into.
Thanks for reading,
| ilovepeterpetrelli chapter 1 . 1/6/2007
| muppetmadness chapter 1 . 12/3/2006
I'm sorry but I just had to say this.
"There wasn't nothing else she could learn from it."
It's either 'there was nothing else she could learn from it' or 'there wasn't anying else she could learn from it'. You can't use a double negative.
That is in no way meant as an insult, it just annoyed me.
| qblisa chapter 18 . 10/16/2006
That was an amazing story. Thank you.
I actually read it all in one go, I liked it so much (except when I had to stop for dinner, and all I could thing about was - I hope Booth gets his act together and tells his boss to 'stick it').
I loved the constant conflict throughout the entire story... Booth goes undercover in another state; Booth and Tempe break up; Tempe moves in; The need for bed rest; The fake contractions... Everything. The cliffhangers were perfect. Plus, I was lucky enough to read the story once it was complete.
I loved the part when Temperance listens in on the conversation during the baby shower... lol. And when Booth's mother makes a comment that she had seen Dr Brennan on TV and she didn't seem like the type of woman who would let Seeley anywhere near her... lol.
As I read though your stories, from oldest to your more recent I see that you have become better at writing the Booth/Brennan dialogue. I hope it continues to improve. The writers of the show have it down to a tee, and it must be hard to compete with such a high standard... But you are definitely improving.
Although the editing of this story needs a lot of work, I found that the story has such a good flow that I hardly noticed all of the typos.
I hope to god that Riley isn't serverly disabled. It would be my worst fear to have a sick child. I will keep my fingers crossed that when I read the sequals, Riley isn't as bad as they initially thought.
One thing I would change in this story would be that Temperance would use her 'bed rest' to work on her novels, or do desk work.
Once again, thank you for such a great story.
| ObsessedWithCSI chapter 1 . 8/6/2006
One more thing I forgot. Riley is not an original/unique name for a baby girl. It is one the fastest growing trend names. in 2005 is was the 53rd ranked name for girls, and I believe it is ranked higher for this year so far.
| ObsessedWithCSI chapter 18 . 8/6/2006
This is a review for the entire story.
First of all I want to suggest you getting a beta reader. This story was plagued with typos and sudden bursts of broken keyboard sydrome ()
It also contained alot of bad grammar.
Secondly, I would suggest that you do a bit of research first. I hardly know of anyone who takes maternity leave at six months unless put on bed rest, I know you had Tempe put on bedrest, but you kept saying before she was that she should. Most woman I know go as far in their pregnancy as they can unless it is a dangerous job.
Also Booth wasn't handed a jacket until they went into the OR. Here at least, they keep ALL the rooms sterile a new defenseless infant is being introduced to, so even in normal birthing rooms he would don a gown.
Also I have never heard of a child going blind or deaf from a few minutes of oxygen deprivation. Even having brain damage from a minute is uncommon. Most children hold their breath that long voluntarily with no side effects. Most drain damage occurs after 5 minutes of oxygen deprivation.
Also it is highly frowned upon going from 3rd POV to 1st and back to 3rd. It confuses the readers, and makes it hard to read and enjoy.