Reviews for Harry Potter and the Psychic Serpent
Brandon Carey chapter 1 . 5/27/2020
Great Story! Read the whole series.
TobiSullivan chapter 31 . 5/27/2020
Ch 31

I knew something bad was going to come of him not reading Dudley's letter. :(
A reader fan chapter 2 . 5/25/2020
I hope Harry can figure out something to help that poor foreman with a shattered leg!
TobiSullivan chapter 30 . 5/27/2020
Ch 30

I LOVE your version of the ministry, honestly better than canon. JK often takes a Roald Dahl-esque style that is very silly and dissonant with the sometimes very serious tones of the story she crafted. Your approach to the ministry feels closer to high fantasy.

Mrs Weasley can be really fickle sometimes.

Oh, you really subverted the 'eternally loving mother Narcissa' trope here! It makes sense, since at the time you wrote this, we didn't know she would lie to Voldemort for Draco's sake. But there's so many fics where she pics Draco's side when he goes against Lucius; it is nice to read something different for a change!
TobiSullivan chapter 29 . 5/27/2020
Ch 29

Was it this chapter or the previous one where you used the phrase 'a brace of deer'? What an image!

I like the comparison of Ron preferring to kiss Snape than disclose the subject of his row with Parvati. JK always used silly comparisons like that, like Percy not recognizing a joke if it danced naked wearing Dobby's tea cozy.

I'm not awake and alert enough to comment on the more substantive aspects of this story right now - but I think they are excellent. I suspected Draco was going to doublecross his father. That climax was really something - one thing after another: birthday, rape scene, kidnapping and death eater induction, doublecrossing, chasing Wormtail, and the giants. I did find it a bit OOC that Harry was not in such a rush to get back and find out the aftermath of the whole situation, but I prefer him to be more quick on the uptake - it is great that he realized Malfoy was acting the whole time. I think canon Harry might have been slower and not figured it out, which is dumb.

OK I really am quite tired. Goodnight!
TobiSullivan chapter 26 . 5/26/2020
additional comments from ch 25:

I love how your Ginny is very fiery and comfortable with sex, but knows her limits as well - totally canon and fanon! That line about not being a prude, but not being mentally ready to have sex - spot on!

IS ABERFORTH A DEATH EATER?!

and ch 26:
Wow, this is where it gets good. I tried to write a Hogwarts drug addiction story once, and it was BAD. I love how well this was handled - I suspected something was up with Neville, but I had not put it together.
TobiSullivan chapter 25 . 5/25/2020
Ch 25

I couldn't quite follow the parallels between Clan MacGregor and Clan Lamont in history and present day. Who was being blamed for killing who? It was not actually Sirius' fault that Lily and James died.

And wow, Arabella as a separate character from Mrs. Figg! I remember those days when I had not noticed that, and I think a friend of mine had - when we were waiting for the fifth book to come out. She had put it together. She also put together that Hagrid was off to negotiate with the giants, which I also had not figured out.
TobiSullivan chapter 23 . 5/25/2020
Ch 23

I don't think I've reviewed in a few chapters, and this is mainly because there's a few things about this story I've been disliking, and I'm still gunshy about expressing that after the other experience I mentioned. But it's hard for me to focus on things I do like when I feel like I can't mention what I don't. So in the spirit of clearing that out, I'll say that I really don't care for the concept of being in Animagus form being painful. I don't see it as supported by canon at all. However, after reflecting on it, I wondered if perhaps there were a few things in the first four books that might have implied that. I still don't see it as canon supported and I dislike the concept. But, I am continuing to read because I am intrigued by the story. There've been a few other things that weren't to my taste as well. Hopefully now that I got that odd my chest I'll think of more things to say that I appreciate.

I'll mention one now...I like that Ron and Hermione seem to maybe be endgame. I'm not looking forward to the fallout from Harry and Hermione hooking up though, especially because I think she's under a curse that's influencing that whole thing.

Also I like Parvati and Ron better than Ron and Lavender, and that he's being more mature about it. And that Lavender isn't so annoying. And I love that the Patio twins have different birthdays, super cool.
Sleepyhawk502 chapter 33 . 5/20/2020
Great job on the story. I live your version of book 5. Thanks for sharing!
TobiSullivan chapter 20 . 5/18/2020
Ch 20

Your story is so full of symbolism, especially about sex and relationships and jealousy. I have never been too interested or invested in some of the dynamics you explore here, such as those in the Shakespeare plays, as they feel toxic to me and I want other things in my life. But I can tell you put a lot of thought into it, like with them almost having sex in Ron's bed. Very symbolic
TobiSullivan chapter 19 . 5/17/2020
Ch 19:

Such better backstory than the original. Damn!
TobiSullivan chapter 18 . 5/17/2020
Ch 18:

Been meaning to say that I much prefer this Albus over OotP where he got all weird and distant. I'd much rather see a version where he grows closer to Harry rather than farther apart.

Also wondering if there were clues in books 1-4 about Lily and Snape being together that I'm not remembering, or if you came up with that independently. I know there is that whole thing about his first questions to Harry being a code in flower language, but I always assumed that was an obscure thing no one noticed until after the reveal in book 7.
TobiSullivan chapter 14 . 5/17/2020
Ch 14:

Dang, you predicted/happened upon so much stuff that really did end up happening, like Harry kissing Ginny after a Quidditch win.

Although this love hexagon or whatnot is not to my taste. I remember that kind of bs as a teenager and I don't blame Hermione for being mad, but I wish she'd just be above it and get away from him...although I'm pretty sure she is enspelled. Harry actually calling Cho his girlfriend feels so twisted to me when it's all a bunch of manipulation.
TobiSullivan chapter 11 . 5/16/2020
Ch 11:

Holy cow, the intrigue!

I was pleasantly surprised by the scene with Sirius and Snape...such better character and plot development than the continued mistrust of Snape through the series. This reminds me...I have been thinking lately that Harry Potter is a tragedy. Despite the supposed happy ending, it is very bittersweet. So many people die along the way that could have been saved if not for human foibles that prevent people from trusting and forgiving one another. I think that it shows a certain British worldview and is part of a British literary tradition of life always being bittersweet at best. In a what that does seem more honest to me than all the American haply endings...but I'd also like to think that we can make more of life than constant tragedy.
TobiSullivan chapter 10 . 5/16/2020
Ch 10:
Dun dun dun...(to the ending)

I think it is interesting that you have Ginny as a bigger part of this story, which also happened in OotP albeit in a much different way.

I'm still mentally reconciling the realism of this story with Harry being almost player-like...I guess that might have been how it would be if JK knew how to write romance and hormonal teenagers more accurately.
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