|Reviews for Second Circle|
| LittleDevilAuthor chapter 13 . 9/28/2009
I was just wondering...If Saeten is a Gaurden, dosen't that mean that the middle of the night it like the middle of the day for him? So tecnically he can't have been asleep O.o
Other than that I love you storie - ur brave enough to sit there and achually type a romantic story plus ur storie flows very well - I think you could be the real authors child or something with the talent you have!
Love it - from LittleDevilAuthor
| dark kitten chapter 7 . 3/12/2009
Just wanting to let you know that I am thoroughly enjoying reading your story; your sentence structure is very smooth and easy to read. However, I did notice a mistake near the end of this chapter that I thought I ought to point out:
“Well, I don’t have to listen to you. You don’t have to always try to protect me Luc! I’m perfectly capable of looking after myself, so I’d really appreciate it if you just kept yourself out of my affairs,” her tone was icy and her golden eyes were narrowed.
Doesn't Eliene have blue eyes like her mother and her father's black hair, while her brother Charon has golden hair and eyes?
| Kaetien2006 chapter 14 . 11/27/2007
I've finally had a chance to finish reading it, and now (a few days later) to review. I really enjoyed After the End, I think you have a better portrayal of Daemon and Jaenelle than most others do (I have to admit my own version of Jaenelle is off). It was challenging to read about Daemon's sickness and have to minimize the window every time someone walked by my desk (no need to get caught somewhere I probably shouldn't be even though I have nothing else to do here at work) and wondering how Jaenelle was going to save him. Second Circle, a nice addition, though it seems like you had taken more time transistioning between ideas in After the End, this one moved a lot quicker. Again, I still love the name Luc (just glad he isn't a simple country boy like Luc Verreuil, for all his good intentions in Aragonia). Though, I think Charon should have smacked him for being so angry with Eli that long. Very nice, it's just too bad that I can't beg you to update since they're both complete. I don't thik it's necessary to look into the lives of Daemon and Jaenelle's grandkids yet. Very, very wonderful stories!
| storylistener chapter 14 . 4/4/2007
This was the perfect ending! Most of this story was merely Happy-Fluffiness, but I like that! Wonderful Job!
| storylistener chapter 2 . 4/2/2007
This is very interesting! I'd love to read more, and will do so later, but right now I have to go. Wonderful story so far!
| kara chapter 14 . 10/8/2006
i think since it was just annocent that she was wriiting more books you should send both of these stories to her and see if she can use them they are trully great!
| Aria Naerwyn chapter 14 . 8/18/2006
o.. this one is by far the best one yet! The ending is so sweet!
hehehe... *sings* Eli has a consort! Eli has a consort! *ROFLMAO*
anywho.. so.. you do another story with Eli, Luc and the rest of the Second Circle?
| Zamphira chapter 3 . 7/31/2006
I just thought you might like to know that Khardeen was never a Warlord Prince. He was just a Sapphire Jeweled Warlord. Maybe you can make it that he was so attractive or well built or something that made the other girls huddle around him since that seems to be a big point in this chapter.
| Ancient's Daughter chapter 2 . 7/1/2006
it's a great story, but Chaosti and Gabrielle are Dea al Mon, Maghre is in Scelt, Khardeen's territory, shouldn't they have a home in the Dea al Mon territory as well?
| Shadows of Twilight chapter 15 . 5/12/2006
It's a great story just found it. The only problem that I saw was in Chapter 14 when you were talking about what Jewel Luc could descend to. You said that he could descend to the Gray or Ebon-Gray. When in fact since he wears the Green, he could only descned to the Gray. Sorry, to be knit-picky. It's a really great sotry.
| kesterel2106 chapter 15 . 5/9/2006
YAY! thanks for finishing so quickly! it was a bit abrupt/moved fairly fast at the end but the storyline was there and as you said there was nothing much else to do with it.
I look forward to reading anything else you might write.
| Lya Darkfury chapter 15 . 5/9/2006
So cute! One thing i was a lil confused on, and maybe i just missed it, was that i didn't know if Eliane had already had her Virgin Night or not...I would have to assume that she did tho.
Oh, and if the inspiration hits you, i would love to read more adventures about the children of the first circle D and more from OneOf Those Fights because i love Daemon and Lucivar and how they interact (btw, you portray that very well)
Keep up the writing )
| avidreader101 chapter 15 . 5/9/2006
Great fanfic! Hope to read more of your work.
| Lya Darkfury chapter 14 . 5/8/2006
Well, it took me awhile to figure out that you also wrote the other two stories i reviewed, sorr, kinda new at this. But i love what you have done with the First Circle's children! I hope you havn't finished with this story because i am looking forward to more! )
| kesterel2106 chapter 14 . 5/1/2006
thanks for updating!
just a couple of things...
-Luc being that angry at Eli for that long doesnt quite make sense to me. I mean she didn't actually say anything bad enough to warrant that in my opinion
-In Chap 11 you wrote "Every Blood male and female have the capacity for wearing two Jewels – except Landens, of course." This is just a minor error, it seems to imply that landens are 'blood'. Either you should have left out the first 'Blood' or the landen bit at the end, because it doesnt really need one or the other.
-Last thing. Saetan tells Luc he could descend to the Ebon-Gray from the Green which is false. The Green can only descend to the Gray (order of darker jewels goes: Opal, Green, Saphire, Red, Gray, Ebon-Gray, Black)
I think that was all...the 'very graphic scene' wasnt very graphic at all in my book...but that doesnt say much i guess.
Thanks for updating so much so soon. I really enjoyed the 4 new chapters and cant wait for more!