Reviews for Rain
Mamita chapter 1 . 11/22/2013
Hello, I love your fic, that motherfucker is Roy, and still smiles, I love Ed, even a little silly before, and Roy is a bit selfish and jerk, especially because my favorite couple is RoyxEd , even parental, I prefer Yaoi lot more including, hopefully you make more fics of them, so still thanks and kisses.
DrummerDancer chapter 1 . 6/23/2013
Loved it!
crazyAanime chapter 1 . 4/1/2013
Isn't this based off the doujinshi?
Dead account no longer here chapter 1 . 2/9/2013
I swear to good this was a comic. That or I had dejuvu. I sexy, rapepy dejuvu. Ah, rape keeps the story going in stories. In real life it sucks though.
Guest chapter 1 . 1/21/2013
you should type the rest of it

please
AndreaMustang chapter 1 . 1/7/2013
I loved this. I hated reading it so much, and it absolutely disgusted me. But you wrote it so well, and dark stuff is always the best. Thanks for posting something outside of the usual Roy-Ed fluff.
Guest chapter 1 . 11/22/2012
You were coping blue flame (CD Drama)
...
...
Never mine I just read the top...
...
...
...sorry

Mean colonel
Amarissia chapter 1 . 11/17/2012
Excellent fic, wonderfully dark. Thank you!
MyDoll chapter 1 . 8/20/2012
This was very difficult to read. It made me sick to my stomach just imagining Edwards pain. I would love a sequel to this where Ed breaks to Al, and Al goes beserk on Roy. I would love that. What Roy did was cruel, heartless, and just plain ugh. But your writing style made it fantastic! Amazing work. :)
The Button Harlequin chapter 1 . 7/8/2012
*Le gasp!* That was perfectly, delicioiusly evil!
Anon chapter 1 . 6/13/2012
...O.O

3
sorryimahopelessromantic chapter 1 . 3/7/2011
Poor edward :o when he said hed do anything 2 get his brothers body back, he meant it...grr roy eds rite the lead u gave him better be true, or ed wont be the only one kickin your a**...hmm wats the link/site can i find that blue flame story on?
meme chapter 1 . 8/8/2010
i felt like have been read the same story somewhere else,, i think the story same as Blue Flame manga, u know... (?confused?)
Heachan chapter 1 . 4/23/2010
Nicely done, loved it. A couple of spelling errors but still nicely done.
Hyperthia chapter 1 . 12/4/2009
Wow, very intense. I liked it a lot :)

You asked for report on any mistakes, so here are some small ones I noticed:

"While I do not have the actually data..." should be "actual"

And in the same paragraph:

"irritating calm if nothing else." should be "irritatingly"

There were also some issues with contractions vs. possessives such as:

"Then lets get down to business." Should be "let's" as in "let us"

"Manipulation at it’s best…." Should be "its" without the apostrophe.

"gentiles" should be "genitals"

"and the sorry that radiated off of Edward fed his lust." Should be "sorrow"

I think that was all I noticed... :)

Other than that, this was very well-written. I really liked the way you worded everything.

The only real problem I had with it was that Edward gave up a bit too easily... I think Mustang would've had to beat the sh*t out of him before he could rape him because Ed would have put up a huge fight. BUT! Since this is from a doujinshi, I won't blame that on you!

The descriptiveness of this was very good, and tastefully done. I like descriptiveness (I've been practicing to get better, myself), and it was very impressive how much you were able to fit in such a short piece. It didn't feel rushed, and it was satisfying in the end (but still unsatisfying because it was such a sad ending).

Awesome job!

-Hyperthia
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