|Reviews for Beginning
| Cacunai chapter 1 . 7/26/2006
Woo, "Are You Being Served" reference. :D
I love all the messages he left for her; They were creative and funny. Both characters seemed quite in-character for the entirety of the story. Overall, an excellent read and a fabulous idea. I really can't think of anything to suggest. :) Well done!
| Erinya chapter 1 . 4/16/2006
Oh, VERY cute. I love the messages he sends her. This left me all smiley-especially since it is so well written.
| Luna Lovegood5 chapter 1 . 4/14/2006
*Laughs and cries all at the same time*
That was amazing. I adored every second of it. Countdown...oh God, classic!
You are brilliant. Thanks for writing this, you just made my exam-revision filled day a whole lot better.
| Whizzothecrunchyfrog chapter 1 . 4/13/2006
I really enjoyed this one. Cute and short. Actually, what I liked best is that I didn't have to have seen a lot of the show to understand it (SciFi's on episode four or five now, I think). Thank you for catering to the less experienced Doctor fans.
| Sara chapter 1 . 4/13/2006
I liked the mixture of reflections and then later, the dialogue. Am somewhat confused by the comments of a previous reviewer who complained that once Rose and the Doctor are back together there's nowhere to go, then said that their reunion is only the beginning and asks what's next. I found myself thinking, isn't it obvious what's next? Not everything needs to be spelled out. I liked how this fic concluded, where you know another adventure is forthcoming and it doesn't even matter where or what, just that it IS.
I enjoyed the bits about the Doctor's messages to Rose, and how she managed to miss them. All in all, I reckon this story gives a perfectly plausible explanation for how Rose could feel if she decided to stay home. It's not for her anymore; she wouldn't fit in and would regret having left the Doctor.
| Kates Master2 chapter 1 . 4/13/2006
Hehe, wonderful, a brilliant comeback to the fanfic world! You should do more DW stuff...I cant wait for saturday...*does happy dance...*
| eeveekitty85 chapter 1 . 4/13/2006
Oh very very good...Finally, a unique split story with no kissing, no endless sobbing, and the right amount of angst. You've put a huge grin on my face just thinking about all those messages. That's exactly how he'd do it. Fantastic.
| Ash Cole chapter 1 . 4/12/2006
You have a way with rhythm. This is nice and if you ever get published it will be because of voice. On the other hand, I writer writes because they have something to say. I missed this part. What was Rose trying to say to the reader? Yes, she is lonely. Yes, she misses the Doctor (if a doctor can be missed.) What is it you want us to take home. This is a dent in the story I can’t get past. Lost love, unrequited love, or reunion maybe. But that is the same story over and over again.
Images: The red flowers must be changed to something real, even it if is imagined. Be specific. Real images of presents or not just red flowers.
Doctor. Leather jacket doesn’t say enough. What kind of leather. What does he eat. Where? What are his loves and what does HE want?. . .After four months, when she was sure in all reason she should be fine, she caught sight of a man in a leather jacket eating chips as she crossed Trafalgar Square” What is really life. Smell, hear, touch, feel, see, sense, brand names, where did he go to school. . .WHO IS HE. . . MORE characterization in a real way.
Also, Characterization: Rose inner workings seem to be there. They seem to come from your heart, BUT looking through mail and watching TV, isn’t specific enough for me. It doesn’t let us know about the person she longs for. Who is the Doctor? We do not get to know him in this story and it leaves it unbalanced. The character is revealed in a shallow way. You can tell this in generalities alike. . .
The latter is your best paragraph. Why is it your best?. Great characterization and action that brought upon verisimilitude. Well done. I felt who Rose was here. Good voice and rhythm.
After she had realised this and her. . .milk.
Dialogue. Was real to life. Great. You need to stick to the dialogue and not to much 3rd person character analysis, that goes nowhere. Let us know how she feels by her actions, not simply telling us. . .What does she eat? Does she look at herself as if she is a little plumb in the mirror. What does she where? So on. The character is too descriptive and not in action enough. Action is drama. Action is the story. Don’t tell me. Let me smell, and hear and see it all etc. . .
Structure. Structure is constructed mostly by character. This is artsy and good. But the plot is left in her worries, inner dialogue and hopes. This can be too open ended and airy. The story leaned to heavily on the eagerness of reunification. Once, reunified with the Doctor, there is no where to go.
Relationship. The relationship was too pulp. I’ve heard this story a million times. What makes there relationship unique. Take from life. What is said on the phone that brings us to life, and not imagined stories. A little soap opery for me.
Plot. Not much of one. Was there a precursor. If so, I need the cliff notes.
More structure. The story lead up to the doctor and Rose reunion well. I could feel the build, but then it just died off and left me hanging. What is next? A reunion is only a beginning. Where does that take us.
Pretty good. Just try to take from life and the verisimilitude will improve.
Your on my story alert list.