|Reviews for She Has Returned|
| Ceville chapter 7 . 5/23/2008
Loving this story!
But your last update was AGES ago.
Could you make the next one soon?
| Cass Perenelle chapter 6 . 4/20/2006
What's up with Trumpkin's accent? *giggles* He sounded French to me with the "zey" word. You have got to tell me what's up with that. LOL.
So far you're doing fine and I still dunno where you're going (it's good if you keep your readers in "the dark", if you know what I mean) so yes, keep it up.
I see Callie did review. Hahahaha. Sorry, it's just I know her and [For Better or Worse?] is my fic (you can see that Caspian is her favourite). LOL. I love Caspian as well. That's why I'm reading this.
Haha, Caspian made a fool of himself in the last segment. *glares at Mossly as well* What are you laughing AT? You shall NOT laugh at you own king!
Mwahaha. Well, I did but I'm an exception. ;P
| Cass Perenelle chapter 5 . 4/20/2006
I didn't really understand the last part (I guess it's just me. I have just went through a very long day ... *sighs*) but so far it was good.
LOL. Forgot to reply to your PM. Yes, I remembered that part (with Aslan in the picture), it was mentioned in VDT. It has been long since I last read that book ... I'm re-reading MN now but still stuck at page 30 due to my tight school schedule. Darn it. I left for school at 6 a.m. this morning and reached home at 5 p.m., can you imagine THAT? :/
Er ... sorry for the rambling. *blushes*
| Cass Perenelle chapter 4 . 4/20/2006
I just read the message you've given me and you were asking about MS.
Well, a Mary Sue is a character who is perfect and has no flaw at all.
Here are a few things for you to know and watch for any Mary Sueness:
1) Boys/men being completely entralled with her (looks, attitude, etc) Though it can happen, in FanFiction, it more or less signals Sueness
2) Having everyone love her instantly
3) Special powers and/or anything that makes her ungodly unique and superior to normal humans
4) Animals liking her instantly
5) Falling madly in love with ANY ONE of the character immediately (like in your fic, falling in love with Caspian that fast)
6) Is Amelia at all like you/someone you'd like to be friends with/someone you wish you were etc
7) Having her impervious to any normal limitations/weaknesses (aka, above humans)
8) Gets into trouble with authority, making them look like the bad guys
9) Does she have a spitfire personality, sharp wit, attitude and/or strong temper?
10) Unusually spirited, rebellious/defiant for her time/place
11) Shares tastes/hobbies with one of the main characters
12) Learning skills and becoming absolutely perfect and THE best in them instantly
13) If she messes up almost everything, is she quickly forgiven?
14) Having talent/skills of several characters combined
15) Any ancient weapons (magic, etc)
16) Posessing any unsual trinkets that has special significance or is magic
17) Do the other characters look up to her?
18) Becoming romantically envolved with who you want/end up married/or give up this romance for some noble/greater good purpose?
19) Tragic past that excuses her actions
20) Gets kidnapped by the bad guys
21) an unusual name
Those are the tips I got from a fellow author here (Miss A Amelia Black).
Good luck. D
| IAMSOAP chapter 5 . 4/19/2006
Aww! I love this story!
Aww so cute how Caspian came to her rescue!
And I liked the conversation that Amelia had with Aslan, adds more mystery to the story!
Please UPDATE SOON!
| Athena chapter 5 . 4/18/2006
Very impressive. Your story has an interesting plot and unlike most other OC's Amelia is down to earth. I think that you have a great talent for writting. So Please, Please keep going with this story. I can hardly wait to see what happens next.
| AliceInSomewhereland chapter 5 . 4/17/2006
Good! Please keep it up!
| Callie chapter 1 . 4/17/2006
Augh! OMG! *squeals and screams* I have been looking for a Caspian fic for like ever since For Better or Worst ended! OMG I'm so excited!
Eek! Why didn't I find this before? 5 whole chapters and I hadn't seen it yet!
This went a bit quickly. I found quite a few grammatical errors, but nothing too serious. I'm a real nit-pick for grammar; everyone thinks it's so annoying.(One of my friends wants to be an author and she always sends me her stories to edit because she knows I absolutely love it, hehe.) I always want to beta for people, if only my parents weren't such internet-safety control-freaks, lol.
I also found it slightly confusing that you changed POV without a border or anything. You should probably put a few stars or X's or something in between the portion of the story at Amelia's school and with Caspian.
I liked your descriptions with the tree-person and also when Amelia was drowning. I could just see one of my friends doing something like that- oops, forget I said that.
All in all, a good start. I can't wait to read more!
| Genis Aurion chapter 1 . 4/17/2006
of course i would have been glad to read it! _
not normally do i read fics that have an outside character come into the book, but i guess that's how many of the characters in Lewis's work did so, so it's fine. I'm interested in this, but I've run out of time so I'll be reading later _
| AliceInSomewhereland chapter 4 . 4/16/2006
o I like this! Please update soon!
| Cass Perenelle chapter 3 . 4/15/2006
You're welcome. :)
Anyway, this chapter reminded me a lot of Harry Potter ... yes, the influences were there. From the moving object in the pic (Aslan ...) and the Merpeople. Yep, reminded me a lot of Harry Potter. Not that it's a bad thing.
One thing though. How come Amelia got attached to Aslan that fast? You have got to write more details and once again I feel that this must have something to do with the title. *lopsided smile*
And oh, another thing (I sure do have lots of things to say ... *blushes*) and I hope you won't take this badly. My only complaint is the lack of details about Amelia's background. Write more on her background but PLEASE don't turn her into a Mary Sue. That's all I ask. It helps your story to flow better (more details I mean, not the Mary Sue-ness).
If you ever need anything, you can PM me, especially on the weekends when I'm free of that stupid tight school schedule.
| XavierStar chapter 3 . 4/15/2006
Sweet, more story!
I like the lion going from picture to picture. Very C.S. Lewis-like. Keep up the good work.
| Cass Perenelle chapter 2 . 4/15/2006
Himpth, dear? What an odd name for a family name. And yeah, I kinda snorted when "Mossly the Faun" came into the picture ... reminds me at once of Moseley *snorts again*.
I feel so confused when Amelia repeated that prophecy. Seriously, I dunno where is this fic going, which is good. It must have something to do with the title, eh? ;P
So far you're doing fine ... just don't rush with the plot!
| Cass Perenelle chapter 1 . 4/14/2006
Caspian! *hugs Caspian* *giggles*
A very good start, I must say ... finally, another rare Caspian/OC fic. ) Just don't turn her into a Mary Sue or something. Because that would certainly draw my interest away. Keep on writing and let me see what you've got.
Best regards from a fellow author and reader.
| XavierStar chapter 1 . 4/14/2006
I like it. No grammatical or spelling errors that I could see, and good plotline. Finally a story with Caspian instead of Peter!(I probably shouldn't be talking...)
Keep it up. I await your update.