Reviews for The Predatory Bird
Rayless Night chapter 1 . 2/23/2012
While there may not be much point to reviewing a fic under what seems to be an abandoned account, I like this fic and hate to pass it by without a word.

As for crit, there isn't much, though I was bothered by the idea of Clive falling asleep to the sounds of hawks hunting. They aren't nocturnal, unless the implication is that Clive makes camp pretty early. More generally, many of these adjectives could be cut out to make a tighter read. Also question your use of the word "pallor", which is skin that's already faded.

As to the rest, you realistically convey the weariness of Clive's chase, which, on a day to day basis, would probably be more consuming than the anger he shows whenever he confronts Elza. Particularly in the "Today his feet slip" and "He shoots a rabbit" paragraphs - it seems he's pushed himself onto his instincts both to survive and to cope emotionally. At the same time, he's aware that there's some damage to himself being done.

Some great word choice too - Elza smiling "gallantly" - not the word I'd expect, but it's off-putting in a way that suits her - and the prim imagery of Clive cleaning Storm like a maid is a good contrast to his normal demeanor. I also like how, after all these weary reflections, the last paragraph kicks the fic back into life.

Finally, I really like how you explore Clive's solitude. He isn't angsting hopelessly about losing his two best friends, but there's this persistent lack in him, as if without Kelley and Elza he's out of his element. Also really interesting is the way he tends to think of them both in the same fond way, rather than Kelley the victim and Elza the murderer. Despite his mission. It's an interesting compartmentalization.
Kya chapter 1 . 5/11/2006
yay! I'm glad to see a Clive fic out here! he's one of my faves you did a great job!
TsuraraMai chapter 1 . 4/30/2006
That was very good. Very well put across, almost having a dark and gothic feel to it. Its nice to see a fic about Clive after such a long time. Great job!
Silver Marquis chapter 1 . 4/20/2006
Didnt quite get your point...

well the words you used are really strong its nice...
Komillia chapter 1 . 4/16/2006
I can't believe I forgot to leave a review the first time I read it. This is the best Clive-centered fic that I have ever read. The descriptions are wonderful and reading them it's very easy to imagine how it was for Clive to chase Elza all these years.