|Reviews for Drought|
| mom calling chapter 1 . 7/25/2009
No, I did not pick up any of the hints you say you planted... This sure was not a fun read. But you seemed to be in control all the way thru, so I guess you accomplished what you set out to do...and I got lured into reading
it all the way thru... mc
| Destination-Zero chapter 1 . 10/24/2007
Yes, it was a bit morbid but it was good. Never saw that coming the ending coming. Did Vincent change into Tifa because of Cloud being delirious or because it really was Tifa?
Either way great story.
| Neophyte Ronin chapter 1 . 9/15/2007
Of course you're male. I'm like one of the other jerks who writes fantasy/horror around here...
Drought forced me to re-read it. It isn't a terribly good achievement in the technical sense, but I'll lose money if people start writing on similar topics at this site. I bet they don't.
Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation: Frankly, it sucks overall. No spelling errors but misuse of words occasionally peeved me.
Style: Much of what is considered very stupid mistakes is also hailed as style by some. I'm not one of those people. Much of what killed this was your prose's overuse of technical terms to describe dehydration. It had a certain mechanical aspect that robbed the humanity out of losing one's sanity.
Flow/Structure/Pace: The pace is okay... to some degree. Whatever severe mistakes you made along the way, this technical aspect is perhaps the strongest. The choppy paragraphs still pissed me off, however.
Plot: I was forced to re-read where all the clues were about the "twist". I never considered the discussion over a Mako Reactor or thinking he's Sephiroth to be perfect hints that someone else was talking... until it was too late and I had to go back. The inability to actually fire the Death Sentence shotgun should have been a dead giveaway upon the pains of retrospect. (I had a very rough afternoon/evening shift before reading this). And while it might not always be necessary, having an actual purpose behind journeying through desert-like some urgent mission to fulfill-would have enhanced the tension in another way (you know... inability to survive which holds a greater risk elsewhere). Essentially, the plot is a bit hard to swallow.
Characterization: Boy, you nailed insanity down pat, mo-fo. Quite in fact, it is the gem of this whole story. Details concerning the travelers is also keen.
Consistency: Is it within what they call canon? Well, Cloud always had head problems... but that's a very harsh way of analyzing its scope. You can bet a load of fangirls will call you on it (although the majority seem pretty much amazed, which is cool).
Originality: Like I said... nobody has done this before. And frankly anyone managing to write horror stories around here isn't necessarily dime-per-dozen... far from that, my friend. This is another one of your strengths.
Fitting into the Nomination Category... if you haven't already figured it out, your story got nominated in the "Best Short Fic" category at Genesis Awards (if you're utterly clueless, examine my profile for the link). As it is both short and a fic, it fits, but it should be under one of the genre nominations (if it already isn't; it should be amidst the horror stories). So yeah, it kind of fits in where I first heard of it.
Overall... you might not be pulled as a winner, but I pull for your continued efforts whenever your head's clear enough to write. Worry about the structure and grammar only after you hire a proofreader (what they locally call the beta tester).
| alphaBetaG chapter 1 . 8/11/2007
I'm not going to repeat what's already been said by others. This work is truly unique. You really don't seem stuff like this posted on this site often. The pacing and atmosphere are excellent and the dialogue is sharp.
I particularly enjoyed those moments of silence between Cloud and Vincent and even played it out in my head to see what it would be like. That hopeless sense of urgency and the inevitable paranoia working its way through the story. I'll admit, I was totally caught off gaurd through the first reading because I was focusing more on the style as opposed to the content so when I came upon the twist, I initially thought it was either a mistake on your part or I was misreading things but it was all there.
Going back and reading it again, yes, there were many hints sprinkled throughout and I should've caught them but oh well. Also, reply if you can, but like someone else asked earlier, what was your inspiration behind this? I'm very curious.
| The Tiramisu Of Impending Doom chapter 1 . 8/6/2007
This is such an interesting piece. Pretty surreal, and I felt like I was watching Crash or Babel, only with Final Fantasy characters. (I'm some kind of strange.)
I was able to catch those Tifa references right away, as some of Vincent’s comments and questions reminded me of her. I read the story a few times, and it was cool to pick up some new details, and for some reason it all manages to surprise me each time. I don’t know why! Perhaps it’s your wicked imagery, dialogue, and story layout, and the way the insanity builds. You’ve done a good job of making me feel for the characters too. Even Cloudie. Sometimes I just find him boring as hell, but not here.
The story feels long, and yet the ending comes and it’s kind of abrupt. Maybe inevitable is a better word. The imagery at the end is just heart-breaking, despite it being expected. A very unique and thought-provoking story.
Adding it to my faves anyway. Sorry my review is all over the place.
| McKeen chapter 1 . 2/16/2007
Superb piece of writing. Simply an amazing oneshot.
Deep, extremely poignant and well crafted and carried.
I've read quite a few oneshots for FFVII and this definitely rounds the top 5.
Like one reviewer already asked: I wonder what made you write it?
At first you don't notice it and the story comes off pretty obscure and awkward upon the first read through. But going back and analyzing it over again, it becomes painfully clear that Cloud's descent into madness has already taken place way before the story and the instance the oneshot takes place simply chronicles the last few remaining moments of whatever sanity is left before a complete mental collapse takes place. I applaud you for the pace and found that the cleverest and most haunting moments came during the briefest of intervals for example when they're sitting apart from one another doing nothing.
For me personally, it wasn't so much the revelation at the end as it was the subtle little things here and there that really stood out.
I've read a few of your other works and have skimmed your large story and know that you make your name based mostly on humor but I think you're better with the mental themes. You have a way of showing the mind work in a different way from other authors.
I noticed in your profile that you're a student. I got a question, are you a psychology major by any chance? You can pick up on many cerebral vibes sewn into the different bits and pieces of your writing.
Lastly, the title. Very smart. Drought as in a drought referring to water or a drought in the head?
| Ethere chapter 1 . 5/4/2006
Ah, that's why you didn't update My disjointed life XD How come I let that one passed without noticing? Maybe because the resume was weird XD
Anyway, I liked this fic, though it's very dark x_x
Thinking of this, yeah, you threw a lot of hints throughout the story. It was well written, as always.
Keep up the good work, okay? :)
| Jimmy chapter 1 . 5/1/2006
well this was... weird. wait, how did Tifa hide her big... you-know while dressed like vincent
| Just Mystical chapter 1 . 4/18/2006
What I think? I think it was magnificent! :D
You have great writing skills... The way you write you words, and the descriptions your give... It's so superb!
I picked up the hints, and the end of this was sad... But it's so good! Great oneshot! :D
I hope you write more! Put all that talent to work mister!
And until next time, keep safe!
| Mythrand chapter 1 . 4/16/2006
Beautiful, beautiful story. One wouldn't usually encounter plots like this. I loved everything about it. So haunting, especially the last parts. Very, very moving. I wonder what made you write it? You're a wonderful writer.
-adds to faves-
| Luthienia chapter 1 . 4/16/2006
I believe you intended to create the impression that Cloud saw a mirage of Vincent?
I liked the last sentence especially, beautiful.
| N chapter 1 . 4/15/2006
That tripped me out so bad, it was good.
I liked it! Thanks for sharing XD
| magnum chapter 1 . 4/15/2006
Wow...just...wow. That was pretty amazing I must admit. You had me going. Of course I have to wonder why they were in a desert to begin with, but eh, who cares. Very well written, I loved it.
| LightningGemini chapter 1 . 4/15/2006