Reviews for London Bridge's Falling Down
lucy the divaqueen chapter 5 . 3/27/2011
This is beautifully written. It follows the same voice as the comic and the movie. I hope you continue!
whophan chapter 5 . 12/23/2007
I'm loving your story so far. You capture the charater's emotions so well. The story is so far fantastic. I can't wait to see how everything plays out. I hope to read more soon. It's

Super Tinfoil Man Part 2 chapter 5 . 4/15/2007
Here , take this review . I can no longer watch it . The review is now yours to keep.
breadandchoc chapter 5 . 10/2/2006
Fascinating, different take. Its almost like a mood piece- not dark, but not exactly light either. Nice simple clean-cut style. I'll be interested in what comes next.
theshadowcat chapter 5 . 9/29/2006
Well, this is most curious. Please continue soon.
Ancient Egyptian Dreams chapter 5 . 9/29/2006
Whoa whoa whoa whoah!

Okay, so now she just agreed to be a witness, and the guy just leaves?

It's intriugingly (SP?) done, Mastah Grasshopah. Please, please update soon! (Not that hardly ever do, lol ;P)

.::FroM A PalacE FaR FaR AwaY::.

.::Ancient Egyptian Dreams::.
GoddessLaughs chapter 4 . 9/19/2006
Wow, this story is incredible. Your writing style and technique are gorgeous. Kudos for this amazing piece.
theshadowcat chapter 4 . 5/28/2006
Very nice. I'm enjoying this immensely. Please update soon.
Ancient Egyptian Dreams chapter 4 . 5/27/2006
One word to speak my amazement-


This is so, SO much more improved! I was really able to understand what was going on and could really envision EVERYTHING. This is really becoming an interesting story!

Excellent job! Bravo, bravo! Kepp up the great work! D

.::FroM A PalacE FaR FaR AwaY::.

.::Ancient Egyptian Dreams::.
Naphtali Phoenix chapter 3 . 5/25/2006
Thus far I like this. I think you're doing a good job of writing from Evey (Effie)'s POV. Looking forward to where this is going.
Ancient Egyptian Dreams chapter 3 . 5/21/2006
Hello there!

Well, here I am, giving you my input like you requested :D

It would probably have helped if I saw the movie, but I'll go on anyways.

Well, hmm... I really like how you began it. Nice catching start. _

I don't really know if there IS anything to improve. If there is, I suppose this would be it: Maybe you should put more-oh, what's the word?-dialogue or more of Effie into it.

(Ex. Instead of

"I gave a gentle smile"

maybe you could go with "I gave a half-earnest, gentle smile. Christine never really EVER [...] nowadays, but what the heck?" or instead of

"My home.

The umbrella dropped to the ground, the shoes were kicked off, [...]"

try "My home. [...] Oh how good it felt to finally relax my feet! Now, Effie, it's time to just sit down and just RELAX." something. It doesn't necessarily have to be like that. Take for another example my story, in the 7th chapter, where Theresa's talking to the cab driver: "Oh, not such a good save. Theresa bit her lip, hoping the driver would not notice the guiltiness in her eyes. She began mentally kicking herself for such a lame line.") Say how their feeling, what Effie's knows of these people-really, really get into their heads. Not to say that there is none of that what-so-ever here, but there should probably be.. more. Overall, explain how individuals act, their different personalities, and such. Understandably it's a little more difficult to do it from a first person POV, though.

Oh, blech. Did this help at all? I'm not sure if I made this easy to understand or not, or, oh, I don't know! S This is really a good, interesting story, though! Well, TTYL! :)

.::FroM A PalacE FaR FaR AWaY::.

.::Ancient Egyptian Dreams::.