Umm... If this is related at all to a Huxley work, you need to make it more obvious. The problem is, this reads like a selcetion of original stories, which aren't allowed here on FFnet. If thy are original, please move it to Fictionpress or Deviantart.

Additionally, you'll need to break up the massive bricks of text that occur later on in the story. They're very difficult to read.

-Texty Monster

Critics United