Reviews for The Untitled Part One pgs 1 100 by Ash Cole
RahXephon chapter 1 . 2/14/2009
1: Your work is unreadable. The paragraphs are nothing more than huge blobs of unreadable words. Reading online is different from reading a physical book. Split up the paragraphs into smaller chunks like the other people on this site do.

2: You aren't using the chaptering function. How hard is it to add chapters in your story, instead of posting them as seperate stories?

I know you've uploaded this like three years ago, but I hope you will still feel you can fix this.
ShatteredDiamonds chapter 1 . 3/8/2007
Oh lord! Wow, that's long. May I suggest that you break it down into more than one chapter, to make it less confusing. Also, only one person is able to speak in a paragraph.

With Love,