Reviews for Dragon Quest VI
Moon the Eevee chapter 37 . 6/25/2012
This fanfiction is really nice but you could've been a bit more deaitailed with character discriptions and make the battles more intense. Other than just saying, it hurt, put yourself in the main character's shoes. How would you feel if you were fighting a huge demon? Other than that, I'd give it an 8/10, nice work.
Fuzz chapter 1 . 12/20/2010
Read your story out loud to yourself. Or have someone read it to you. It is like someone is speaking in a monotone. No detail whatsoever. You. Need. Description. For your story to be interesting.
Tovath chapter 1 . 11/24/2010
You need to add some hooks or people aren't going to want to read on. Also talking about what the main character is feeling will help, especially since you are writing in 1st person.
Kahran042 chapter 1 . 8/13/2008
Nice to see a fanfic for a Dragon Quest game other than DQVI! Good stuff. :D
THORDAIN chapter 2 . 1/4/2008
This was an awesome read for me!

I've always wanted to do something like this...

maybe you should try to novellize the Dragon Quest V: Tenkuu no Hanayome game... it would be amazing... i can already picture it...

"INFERMOST!" Cried out ...(the hero's name) as he ripped Gema (the dude who killed his father Papas) to shreds with his most powerful gale spell!

OH!
Malefactior chapter 2 . 1/31/2007
oh wow nice novelization for a really good game. however as stated by the other two reviewers I have yet to see any strong character personality. Also the scene where the hero battles the spotted slimes was a tad bit shallow, it would be nice if you did a remake like peptuck's with more description and personalities as well as descriptive battle scenes. Its a very interesting story to read.

hopefully you do a remake, etc. its still a good story. I will try to do an up to date review every 4 or 5 chapters. In any case I hope to see more work on an interesting novelization of a game that sadly never reached the US.
Setra Kakan chapter 37 . 11/7/2006
That was a fun read, DQVI is my favorite of the Dragon Quest games. It's nice to read a novelization of it, however.. that is not quite what it was. It was more of a transcribe of events that occured, rather than a novel.

How to put it, it felt like I was reading what happened, but not a story. This happened, that happened, but there was.. nothing really behind it.

I cast sap to lower his defense... It's not really.. much of a story. Still, good job.
Lady Selan chapter 17 . 5/31/2006
Hey Michael,

I was drawn to your story because I found DQVI to have one of the best plots in the entire Dragon Quest series, making it perfect for fanfiction. While I do think you have a good idea, I do have a few suggestions for you:

-I think it would be neat if you would include more emotion (ie: instead of just saying "he said", or "I asked", mention the tone the statement is being said in). Doing so will help the reader follow the story because they can envision the dialog being spoken.

-I also think it would be neat if you would provide some more description and character development. None of the Dragon Quest games I've played (1-6) have characters with a strong personality, which is an advantage fanfiction has. Instead of just following the game dialog and action verbatim, use your imagination to consider possible dialogs/events the game may have not shown. For example, I don't believe the characters would just go to an inn and sleep without a word. Consider what they might say/do that the game could not or did not portray.

These are just the suggestions of a developing writer such as yourself, so feel free to take them as you will. Cheers!

-General Selan