|Reviews for The Darkness in Their Eyes|
| Spooths chapter 11 . 7/4
RIP this story? Maybe? Gimme a PM if you're still around tho. Cuz this is some really good stuff here.
| Spooths chapter 6 . 7/3
Blue-Eyes, eh? That's pretty funny considerijg the third of Bee-Train's "Girls With Guns" series had a character named Blue Eyes. And this was written before that came out. Maybe they read fanfiction and stole the idea from you lmao
| Kod-03 chapter 1 . 7/9/2016
It is just a shame that this story have been dropped T_T
| SilverWordsmith47 chapter 11 . 6/26/2016
Still waiting and hoping you pick this up again.
| katfemale chapter 11 . 3/13/2015
Ok read it liked it alot.
| growlscout chapter 11 . 3/20/2014
I just re-read this story to this point, for the... well I have no idea how many times I have re-read this. I just want you to know that should you have the opportunity and the inspiration, you still have fans out here watching for the rest of the story. These two need some happy resolution after the wringer.
Regardless, thank you for sharing this story with us. And thank you for not stranding us pre-rescue!
| Gathering the Roses chapter 11 . 12/30/2013
Well, that's a cruel way to leave us hanging!xD
Awesome story D
| kodashi21 chapter 1 . 11/20/2010
Kami sama, really every time i enter in this page and see that you had not update i feel depressed, really depressed, are you sure youre going to continue and finish this? cuz i think im losing my hopes already and its really a shame -_-
| kodashi chapter 11 . 9/22/2010
Mou, i have been re-reading this amazing story again and its such a shame that i think that i already lost my faith to see and update for this, its really a shame cuz this is one of the best noir fanfic i had ever read, it have been four years already since you updated this and seems like you dont plan to continue, or at least that is what its seems, i really hope that im wrong and i can see another chapter and the story complete cuz is really an amazing piece of art, i hope youre ok and that we can heard from you soon, take care, ciao.
| birdhymn chapter 11 . 6/28/2010
The perfect mix of angst, love, and action... though kind of creepy how Alex knew everything about them.
| Raiatea1 chapter 11 . 5/24/2010
beautifull story but, can I correct your french please? I know your story is quite...old. But, it's just for yours futurs stories in french (perhaps). So...
- "You are mine...I'll protect you". Your translation is correct but, French people don't say like this. It's more like "Tu (or 'T'') es à moi...Je te protègerai"
- "It is the name of an ancient fate. Two Maidens who govern Death. The peace of the newly born, the black hands protect". Here, it's more complexe 'cause of a lot of synonyms. So, to be correct, it's "C'est le nom du Destin (French people don't prononce 'ancient' because for them, it's obvious). Deux Vierges (it's for 'girl who don't have sex yet') gouvernent la Mort. La paix du nouveau-né (it's for 'a new baby' which is more appropriated in the anime), de leurs mains noires, elles protègent"
Anyway, bye and have a nice day!
| Crosswood chapter 11 . 4/22/2010
I don't say that because this story is in any way flawed; quite the opposite. On the technical side the formatting is a joy, and the spelling and grammar are nothing short of fantastic in such a long and complex story.
Nope, what makes me sigh is that the story is utterly riveting, building up with an artists’ touch to the final resolution and then just it… stops.
It’s pretty heartbreaking to be honest.
Looking at the publishing dates those hearts are probably going to stay broken.
Ahh well; while it lasted it was one of those rare fan fictions that make trawling through the rest worth it. Many thanks.
| Darth Luffy chapter 11 . 1/19/2010
a wonderful story, absolutely perfect... it's sad that i'll never get to see the end of it, fortunately the last chapter works as a semi-decent conclusion...
as you didn't seem like the type of author to up and abandon a story like this, especially when you had planned several sequels, along with your porfile page not being updated in 4 years... my guess is that your dead... too bad, i would have loved to have seen how this ended, well it was still good enough to warrant a favorite from me,
p.s. i loved it, incase you couldn't tell
| Eyks272 chapter 11 . 1/13/2010
Normally I would review every chapter in a story I read. Considering this is very, very old, I didn't want to bother you with eleven different reviews. I'm kind of bummed that you never finished the story but am relieved you at least stopped after a moment of closure. There's no major cliffhangers and I can easily imagine the rest of the story for myself if I have to.
I loved the story and was very pleased with the general quality of the writing. There were a couple of things that bothered me throughout, but not so much as to really distract me (not often, anyways).
For one thing, and I'm glad you stopped this near the middle, was your referring to people's hair as a mane. They could be lions, but they probably aren't. For another, I don't like how you referred to Kirika as "the Japanese young woman." It doesn't flow - it should have been "the young Japanese woman." Such a small detail, the order of the words, but it really makes a difference. Similarly, referring to Mireille as "the Corsican" is fine but referring to Kirika as "the Japanese" is awkward, since it sounds (out of context) as if you are referring to the whole Japanese race.
I loved your descriptions of the character's eyes and the expressions on their faces but I noticed you using the same descriptions over and over as the story pressed on. In most of the chapters I would come across a description and think to myself, 'that sounds familiar...' Everyone's lips "curled" too often, you know?
Also, there were some inconsistencies in the later chapters with your spelling of Mireille's name. Sometimes Kirika would pronounce it as "Mireyu," which is adorable, but sometimes she would say "Mirelle," as you spell it in the narration.
I was impressed by the vividness of Mireille's dream about Kirika in chapter 7, and with the awesomeness of your fight scenes. I thought it was neat the way you skipped the final genocide in the main hallway when Mireille was on her rescue mission, as you presented a flashback while the fight was presumable taking place.
It took me until chapter 10 to realize it, but holy #$%* Alexander is an ass. His death was very satisfyingly gruesome.
I'm eager to read a more recent piece of your writing - I can only imagine you've improved over the years.
| Eyks272 chapter 1 . 1/11/2010
This story may be four years old but that won't stop me from reviewing! Just in case a critique on an older work might be something you'd like (who knows?), I'll let you know what I think.
After the first chapter, I've got a good feeling about this story. The writing is of a much higher quality than most of the other fanfics I've ran across. Your grammar is good (and for that I am extremely grateful) and your descriptions are pretty good. The phrasing is awkward at times, though - I've noticed a lot of words that could be added/removed to make sentences flow more naturally.
Describing one's hair as a mane makes me think of a lion, which seems a bit silly, but oh well. I'd prefer that Mireille and Kirika give up their shady careers as assassins but it really does make more sense for them to keep at it. I love the way you spell "Mireyu" for Kirika's pronounciation of Mireille's name.
That's all for now - I'll review the next one a bit later. Ja ne!