|Reviews for Checkmate|
| inukagome15 chapter 28 . 5/5/2008
WICKEDLY AWESOME! I love the way you're writing this story and I can't wait until the next chapter.
PLEASE update soon!
| Xdon't-mind-meX chapter 28 . 5/5/2008
...I think I'll just sit here in holy silence for the next 3 hours.
| xheartkreuzx chapter 28 . 5/4/2008
ah! holy crap!
that was amazing!
| Shining Zephyr chapter 28 . 4/29/2008
-takes deep, calming breaths, trying to stop shaking- Oh, my god.
Oh, my god...
-bursts in tears-
What has he done? What has Vlad done? He's broke the young half ghost, that's what he's done. I'm scared. I'm really scared now, Pearl. I don't know what t do. I think you write both of them with such... such emotion and I... -sobs- I don't know any more! I feel so... I don't know how I feel! So much emotion and such tearing through every fiber of my being right now! I can't write like you can! You're simply an inspiration, and I commend you for such a wondrous and fabulous and... -sobs even more- Oh, man, Pearl!
-hugs you and Vlad muse- MORE! MORE! MORE!
| Miriam1 chapter 28 . 4/28/2008
This chapter has haunted me all day.
Danny's descent into his mental/emotional breakdown, as well as the complete loss of control of his powers was coming on for a while now, and it finally happened here. I cried when Danny did.
But it happened in stages, and took off far more rapidly after the cage incident. Nicely played.
I find it interesting that after all that Vlad has done to Danny, he finds it a mystery why Danny won't simply give him the benefit of the doubt. In his mind, Danny is simply being stubborn. But Vlad never actually tried to look at the situation from Danny's perspective. Unlike Vlad seems to believe, Danny has NO reason to trust him. And Vlad is oblivious to this fact.
It is interesting that at the tail-end of the loss of control of his powers, Danny's powers hurt him intensely.
All of this happened after one month in confinement, and Vlad is only beginning to entertain the possibility that Danny's problems are stemming from the fact that Danny was forced to come to Vlad against his will.
But it finally dawned on him that something was wrong with Danny before the event happened.
It is ironic (but perhaps entirely useful to your plot) that Jazz is feeling better and coming home at about the same time that Danny is in more trouble and distress than he has ever been before. The sad part is that if she is successful in her hunt for Danny, she may be in a lot more trouble that she bargained for.
But who knows? Maybe, by that time, Vlad will have figured out that the emotional stress of the threat to Jazz's life to Danny's well-being that Vlad will call off the nanobots. Or not. He may have SOME feelings for Danny, but he still is an evil bastard.
Which side of him will prevail? Only you know for sure. However, I think that even Vlad realized that he has done far more damage than even he intended.
It is particularly interesting to watch the details of Danny's descent. It is heart-rending. But the last thing to happen before the complete loss of control is his mind playing tricks on him. He misses his family so very much, and he is terrified of what Vlad can do to him. Only Danny remembers that Vlad helped to create Dark Dan, and Danny's extended incarceration in Vlad's home only helps to drive this point home for Danny: the point that made Danny turn was his grief over the loss of his family. And Danny is keenly feeling the loss of his family.
It is interesting that Vlad actually works hard to try to figure out what is wrong with Danny. It is almost like he actually cares, or at least cares more than he would freely admit, and certainly more than Danny can possibly believe, let alone trust.
Making the ghosts other than the resident ghosts leave was actually a nice touch. It was kinder than I would have expected of Vlad.
It is also interesting that Vlad finally realized that his approach was entirely wrong when Danny chose not to fight back.
Poor Danny! His body and mind is spinning out of his control completely, and he blames himself, his evil side for the massive destruction that his uncontrolled ghost half wrought.
And when it came down to it, the one thing that Vlad has failed to remember through Danny's whole ordeal is that Danny is just a small, terrified fourteen year old who has been tormented, tortured, and forced away from his family and friends. The only person left in Danny's world is a power-crazed adult who only seems (from Danny's perspective at least, if not in actual fact) to only have his destruction, pain, and misery in mind, and this is the person who is offering to "help" Danny. While the offer might this time be genuine, Danny is in too much pain.
Poor Danny. He is in pain, he is frightened, and he is alone. And Vlad has JUST realized what damage he has caused Danny. He has shattered Danny's health and security, in every sense of the word.
I just hope that Danny isn't beyond repair. Perhaps going home might be able to heal him. Perhaps Vlad may figure that out. Or not.
This particular exchange made me cry, and has haunted me all day.
Go a-away. P-Please… don’t hurt me,” Danny pleaded through his sobs.
Vlad’s breathing accelerated after hearing the teen’s plea, and he immediately moved his hand from Danny’s shoulder. He quickly stumbled to his feet, but just stood there, gazing down at the crying child, one of his hands reflexively covering his mouth. He couldn’t believe it. The boy had completely lost it.
“What have I done?” he whispered fearfully.
It is entirely his fault that this has happened to Danny. Now what is Vlad going to do about it?
We will have to stay tuned for the next chapter to find out.
Thank you for this chapter.
| Aquawyrm chapter 28 . 4/28/2008
You broke him, Vlad. You shattered his mind into little pieces...the trigger was anxiety. And not enough exercize.
That was a scary chapter...
| The Feral Candy Cane chapter 28 . 4/28/2008
Frikkin OMG. Like, wow, Danny's flipped off the the deep deep deep end. What's Vlad to do?
| RockMafia93 chapter 28 . 4/28/2008
WHOAHO! TOTALLY didn't see THAT one comin'! Dark Danny, yeah... I LOVE Dark Danny! He's ugly as hell, but he's evilicious! Good Job...
P.S.- Oh Florida. I didn't realize you were in college or I wouldn't have asked...
| Deyinel chapter 28 . 4/28/2008
I'm...crying over here. Good lord, that was just incredible. I just...wow. I can't even find words. There is so much I'd like to compliment you on and say about this chapter, and for the life of me I can't seem to remember any of it. I think this was the most vital, moving and just brutal chapter in the story, and I'm still in shock.
| MutantLover09 chapter 28 . 4/28/2008
ML: -gulp- This is bad. No I take that back this is really, majorly bad. Pearl, how could you be so evil!
B: -Applauding and cheering- Oh yes Pearl, this is the kind of evil I like to see. The brat's in anguish and it looks like the whole DP world is in danger. -smacks Vlad muse high five- You have made me very happy.
ML: -shaking head in disbelief- He is so crazy it's not even funny.
But seriously Pearl I have never seen pure evil goodness like this from you before! Well maybe in MLB but you haven't done that in a while. I'm just really shocked. I was thinking this had something to do with Evil Danny but I was like, "Nah there is no way she'd stick him in there."
Apparently I was wrong. The evil-ness! On an evil scale of one to ten this is like a fifteen.
B: No I'm thinkin' more like a 18 or 20 at least. Pearl you must be taking lessons from Vlad muse because this seems like his kind of work. And I really enjoyed this chapter, it actually gave me chills.
The raw display of power was incredible. I'm thinking eventually the brat will be unstoppable and evil. A plus!
ML: Blaze what have I said about name calling?
B: -crosses arms- Don't say hurtful things to other people, that is unless these other people are heroes. Then feel free to name call like the wind!
ML: That is so not what I said.
B: Oh isn't it?
ML: No. -sigh- Sometimes I wonder which one of us is the thousand year old wise ghost. But anyway looking forward to the CW oneshot and of course seeing what will happen next. Oh the suspense!
| Sholay chapter 28 . 4/28/2008
Wow, it's been such a lot time since I last reviewed this story! I'm so sorry about that! I've been very busy over the past few months with assignments and finals and I only finished school a week ago (yeah, and I spent last week in a mental coma, my brain is mush I tell ya! I can't absorb any more knowledge! No more! XD)
Anyway, you've done so much writing since my last review! I was so happy to come back and see so many wonderful, long chapters to read! So! to be fair, I'm gonna break this review down by chapters (so you should probably get comfortable with some popcorn and coke 'cause this is probably gonna get pretty long -)
So-o-o... Chapter 21!
Ahh, yes, good ol' Danielle. It's odd, but somehow I just never really liked her. I mean, she came off a little... bratty in the show, in my opinion at least. She's like the typical annoying female character in a cartoon or anime, do you know what I mean? However, I do like what you've done with her here. You didn't make her too prominent or like a replacement Danny, which is nice C:
Secrets! Darn it, there are enough secrets just between Vlad and Danny; Sam, Tucker and Dani shouldn't be keeping even MORE secrets from EACH OTHER! Gah! What’s the point of being the good guys if you don't tell each other what's going on? You writing there is very good, by the way, it literally mad me want to jump into the story and shake them by the collars and yell at them to tell each other about Vlad XD
There was one thing I was wondering though, do you ever find it difficult to figure out what Sam and Tucker would say? I mean, I know they're very different from each other, but even still, aside from the typical 'dudes' and 'Danny, you shouldn't use your powers irresponsibly!' do you have a hard time separating them sometimes? Like, that sentence 'Danny was good at this...' did you wonder if Sam should say it, or Tucker?... I'm just wondering here, 'cause sometimes I have that problem and I was wondering if it was just me XP
Hmm... Vlad introspection, so much fun!... it's interesting how he spends so much time thinking about Danny (and a little creepy, actually XD). But I mean, if he spends so much time thinking about him, you'd really think he'd have figured out more of Danny's personality by now, doncha think? Poor Vlady doesn't understand why on EARTH Danny would get so violent after being blackmailed and coerced to leave his family and live with his archfoe till the end of time... (rolls eyes ;P)
I liked that metaphor about the magnet, with Vlad and Danny being the two opposing poles, but defying nature and repelling each other. It fit Danny's personality perfectly XD I mean, only Danny could make such a random 'metaphor-but-not-really-a-metaphor' work .''
And of course, I love the bonding between the Cook and Danny, and I would say that you're evil for introducing new plotlines at the end of a chapter (Danny's misfiring powers) but I've still got many mor chapters to read, so I'm not complaining!
...Now, Chapter 22!
Aww... did I see just a HINT of concern for Danny, from Vlad? Just a hint?... Just a teensy weensy bit? ;P... Yeah, we all know he cares, even if he won't admit it!
Now, don't Sam, Tucker and Jazz thinks it's a little odd that Vlad's name just seems to be popping up all over the place. Doesn't that make them just a LITTLE bit suspicious? And the fact that Danny left them all letters kinda doesn't fit with the whole 'got shot down by Val' thing... Man, irony is evil... I enjoy your Jazz though! I really like how they have a close relationship and that she wants to protect her little brother, it's a rare relationship to see now (the sibling thing) and it adds dimension to your story!
Hey! You know what? I just thought of something! It's really random, but now I'm all curious. You wrote this part about Vlad lifting Danny up by his 'white' collar and then I began wondering: "What's Danny wearing?" and "Did he take any clothes with him when he left home?" also "If he didn't, is Vlad giving him clothes?" then "If Vlad IS giving him clothes, what kind of clothes are they?"... So yeah, what IS Danny wearing? Up to now, I've been picturing him in his outfit from the show, but you could be thinking of something totally different and now I really wanna know XD (yeah, that's totally off topic and random, but I couldn't help it! -.-)
As usual, the fight scene between Vlad and Danny was amazing. It's really quite funny how, no matter how many times they fight, I never get tired of it, that's how well you write it! It's just so amusing how Danny, though losing physically to Vlad, still somehow ends up winning, even with the beating he takes (I feel sorry for Danny though, all those bruises piling up must hurt...).
Ah ha, Vlad cut off Danny's internet access! So funny, yet so horrible! How could he? Doesn't he understand how... vital internet connection is to today's youth? I wouldn't be able to survive without mine! XD Yes Danny! Destroy more of Vladdy's house! And that ugly Packer's decoration! XDD
Skulker amuses me, you know. Somehow he manages to give Vlad advice, not get his head chopped off, work for Vlad, not get his head chopped off, bring out Vlad's concern for Danny with his 'I'll put you pelt at the foot of my bed' comments and not get his head chopped off! It's amazing! ;P
Oh and I'm not even going to comment on the laxatives thing... I will tell you that I laughed out loud though... loudly XDD And I loved the image of Danny sitting on the banister swinging his legs, grinning mischievously at an irate Vlad, so cute!
Hm... Danny's powers are acting up again? Ooh, I smell plot advancement! Whatever could this mean? I hope the answer comes in the next 3 chapters 'cause I can't wait to find out!
...And Chapter 26
Not much to say on this chapter really. However I will say I read it with one eye closed, feeling completely embarrassed by Danny's actions while just reading it. This, while uncomfortable, means you managed to draw me right in emotionally. It's great how you manage to pull out so many different emotions and aspects to this story, and that it's not all one genre.
And being the morbid Danny fan I am, I enjoyed the Danny-tourture (Oh how we are so evil to our favorites _'). Isn't anyone going to let him out of the cage?... You know, I'm really glad there's another chapter after this XD
...25 (already? No! The end is nigh!)
Danny is slo-o-owly loosing it. It's no surprise, really, but it's amazing how you've made the process so gradual. I know, looking at the word count, that it took a lot of time, but the way you did it is very realistic and believable. I like how Danny's mental degeneration is not too fast (so it would be out of character) or too slow (to bore the reader). Also, I think spending a night in that cage would unhinge just about anyone O.O
It's funny though, that even with as mad as Vlad is, he's still not training at the level which Skulker and the others put Danny in.. guess that just shows how much of a beating the little guy can take, huh ;P
And yep, he's a mess. Having dreams, powers acting up, Vlad and now Niane adding more issues into the mix. Honestly, Vlad... nice? Where's THIS coming form?
The dream about meeting Tucker and Sam was also cute. There was something cliche about it, but a little cliche is always fun, a little nostalgic actually (you know Danny Phantom doesn't play where I am anymore! It's a travesty! They never even showed Phantom Planet here, I had to go find it off the net!).
(Ok... needs a few more moments here to gather herself...)
(Ok... not quite there yet)
(takes deep breath)
(lets breath out)
...Ok... I think I'm ready now...Ok...right...um... well...
I... you... You've somehow managed to knock me utterly, completely and totally speechless. I have no words for how awesome that chapter was. My heart was pounding while I read it and I was utterly dead to the world until I'd finished the chapter.
...Whoa, I think THIS, right here, is your best chapter yet. You really must have enjoyed writing this. I mean, everything flowed so nicely and it was really... yeah... wow.
And I'm not exaggerating here, it really was a magnificently written chapter, one of the best I've ever read for ANY fiction (and I've read way too many fanfics XD).
The emotions were conveyed perfectly. I felt Danny's fear, his helplessness and desperation. And I even felt Vlad's concern and confusion. Danny's final breakdown was heartbreaking. Though I can't help but think 'SEE VLAD! He's only a KID! He's 14! YOU'RE the adult! Look at what you've done!' I bet Vlad never, ever saw himself as an abusive person before (Goodness, it's a very good thing he's not a parent! Imagine how he would treat his children! O.O)
Now, I'm sure you've gotten many, many comments on how amazingly written Danny and Vlad's scenes were (you're really getting into their characters! I mean, since the beginning of the story have they become like second nature to you? Or at least, familiar in the way that you've analyzed them so closely that they're easier to pull out now...?). So I'm just going to draw attention to the Jazz scene in the middle.
Once again, I like your Jazz. I really do think that, out of everyone, she's going to be the one that finds Danny. She never gave up hope of him being alive and she really DOES know him very well... I wonder if/when she'll figure out Vlad's nefarious deeds? And will it be too late? Poor Danny's had about as much of this as he can take (After this story is over Danny's so not going to be very happy with you XDD).
Again, there are no words to describe the amazingness of this chapter, the detail is very well done, the characterization is consistent and realistic and the pace is perfect. I honestly never wanted this chapter to end (of course, I just KNEW there was going to be a cliffy, so that made it worse!). The only thing I can say is that I'm still wondering what they all are wearing XD!
Alrighty... I think that this review has exceeded any possibly reasonable length. I know you said you don't mind long reviews and I really hope you don't mind this one 'cause I didn't want to shorten it. I thought it was only fair to include all my thoughts, and I just wrote as I read, so... yeah... please don't be scared away XD I'll end it right here, right after saying, once again how much I loved the last chapter (I liked the others too, but this one completely blew me away) and please, please update soon! (even if you just updated, like, two days ago XP).
| SaphireDragon11 chapter 28 . 4/27/2008
Oh. My. God. I never thought it was possible for a story to get so emotionally tense! What I felt I could compare with the end of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows! That was amazing! Not only did I cry, but my heart skipped beats at several different momments, my limbs shook, and I had to look away from the screen several times in order to keep myself under control! Intensness! And that last bit when Danny broke down; I read it FIVE TIMES OVER! -faints-
| DPcrazy chapter 28 . 4/27/2008
Oh my...holy...what the...wow. That was something. I have no idea what to say that would be great enough for this chapter. Nothing expressed by mere words could relay my pure ecstacy. Congradulations, you are one of the only three people who have ever rendered me totally speechless.
| Ali-Apple chapter 28 . 4/27/2008
Gosh this is still my favorite story! You have everything to make a good story a great story. There was so much suspese and everything else i was in shock! Well, please update soon and keep up the good work! :)
| Queen S of Randomness 016 chapter 28 . 4/27/2008
hey! another awesome job with another awesome chapter! i hope u update soon! -