Reviews for Checkmate
Aquawyrm chapter 28 . 4/28/2008
You broke him, Vlad. You shattered his mind into little pieces...the trigger was anxiety. And not enough exercize.

That was a scary chapter...
The Feral Candy Cane chapter 28 . 4/28/2008
Frikkin OMG. Like, wow, Danny's flipped off the the deep deep deep end. What's Vlad to do?

Good job!
RockMafia93 chapter 28 . 4/28/2008
WHOAHO! TOTALLY didn't see THAT one comin'! Dark Danny, yeah... I LOVE Dark Danny! He's ugly as hell, but he's evilicious! Good Job...

P.S.- Oh Florida. I didn't realize you were in college or I wouldn't have asked...
Deyinel chapter 28 . 4/28/2008
I'm...crying over here. Good lord, that was just incredible. I I can't even find words. There is so much I'd like to compliment you on and say about this chapter, and for the life of me I can't seem to remember any of it. I think this was the most vital, moving and just brutal chapter in the story, and I'm still in shock.

Well done.
MutantLover09 chapter 28 . 4/28/2008
ML: -gulp- This is bad. No I take that back this is really, majorly bad. Pearl, how could you be so evil!

B: -Applauding and cheering- Oh yes Pearl, this is the kind of evil I like to see. The brat's in anguish and it looks like the whole DP world is in danger. -smacks Vlad muse high five- You have made me very happy.

ML: -shaking head in disbelief- He is so crazy it's not even funny.

But seriously Pearl I have never seen pure evil goodness like this from you before! Well maybe in MLB but you haven't done that in a while. I'm just really shocked. I was thinking this had something to do with Evil Danny but I was like, "Nah there is no way she'd stick him in there."

Apparently I was wrong. The evil-ness! On an evil scale of one to ten this is like a fifteen.

B: No I'm thinkin' more like a 18 or 20 at least. Pearl you must be taking lessons from Vlad muse because this seems like his kind of work. And I really enjoyed this chapter, it actually gave me chills.

The raw display of power was incredible. I'm thinking eventually the brat will be unstoppable and evil. A plus!

ML: Blaze what have I said about name calling?

B: -crosses arms- Don't say hurtful things to other people, that is unless these other people are heroes. Then feel free to name call like the wind!

ML: That is so not what I said.

B: Oh isn't it?

ML: No. -sigh- Sometimes I wonder which one of us is the thousand year old wise ghost. But anyway looking forward to the CW oneshot and of course seeing what will happen next. Oh the suspense!
Sholay chapter 28 . 4/28/2008

Wow, it's been such a lot time since I last reviewed this story! I'm so sorry about that! I've been very busy over the past few months with assignments and finals and I only finished school a week ago (yeah, and I spent last week in a mental coma, my brain is mush I tell ya! I can't absorb any more knowledge! No more! XD)

Anyway, you've done so much writing since my last review! I was so happy to come back and see so many wonderful, long chapters to read! So! to be fair, I'm gonna break this review down by chapters (so you should probably get comfortable with some popcorn and coke 'cause this is probably gonna get pretty long -)

So-o-o... Chapter 21!

Ahh, yes, good ol' Danielle. It's odd, but somehow I just never really liked her. I mean, she came off a little... bratty in the show, in my opinion at least. She's like the typical annoying female character in a cartoon or anime, do you know what I mean? However, I do like what you've done with her here. You didn't make her too prominent or like a replacement Danny, which is nice C:

Secrets! Darn it, there are enough secrets just between Vlad and Danny; Sam, Tucker and Dani shouldn't be keeping even MORE secrets from EACH OTHER! Gah! What’s the point of being the good guys if you don't tell each other what's going on? You writing there is very good, by the way, it literally mad me want to jump into the story and shake them by the collars and yell at them to tell each other about Vlad XD

There was one thing I was wondering though, do you ever find it difficult to figure out what Sam and Tucker would say? I mean, I know they're very different from each other, but even still, aside from the typical 'dudes' and 'Danny, you shouldn't use your powers irresponsibly!' do you have a hard time separating them sometimes? Like, that sentence 'Danny was good at this...' did you wonder if Sam should say it, or Tucker?... I'm just wondering here, 'cause sometimes I have that problem and I was wondering if it was just me XP

Hmm... Vlad introspection, so much fun!... it's interesting how he spends so much time thinking about Danny (and a little creepy, actually XD). But I mean, if he spends so much time thinking about him, you'd really think he'd have figured out more of Danny's personality by now, doncha think? Poor Vlady doesn't understand why on EARTH Danny would get so violent after being blackmailed and coerced to leave his family and live with his archfoe till the end of time... (rolls eyes ;P)

I liked that metaphor about the magnet, with Vlad and Danny being the two opposing poles, but defying nature and repelling each other. It fit Danny's personality perfectly XD I mean, only Danny could make such a random 'metaphor-but-not-really-a-metaphor' work .''

And of course, I love the bonding between the Cook and Danny, and I would say that you're evil for introducing new plotlines at the end of a chapter (Danny's misfiring powers) but I've still got many mor chapters to read, so I'm not complaining!

...Now, Chapter 22!

Aww... did I see just a HINT of concern for Danny, from Vlad? Just a hint?... Just a teensy weensy bit? ;P... Yeah, we all know he cares, even if he won't admit it!

Now, don't Sam, Tucker and Jazz thinks it's a little odd that Vlad's name just seems to be popping up all over the place. Doesn't that make them just a LITTLE bit suspicious? And the fact that Danny left them all letters kinda doesn't fit with the whole 'got shot down by Val' thing... Man, irony is evil... I enjoy your Jazz though! I really like how they have a close relationship and that she wants to protect her little brother, it's a rare relationship to see now (the sibling thing) and it adds dimension to your story!

Hey! You know what? I just thought of something! It's really random, but now I'm all curious. You wrote this part about Vlad lifting Danny up by his 'white' collar and then I began wondering: "What's Danny wearing?" and "Did he take any clothes with him when he left home?" also "If he didn't, is Vlad giving him clothes?" then "If Vlad IS giving him clothes, what kind of clothes are they?"... So yeah, what IS Danny wearing? Up to now, I've been picturing him in his outfit from the show, but you could be thinking of something totally different and now I really wanna know XD (yeah, that's totally off topic and random, but I couldn't help it! -.-)

As usual, the fight scene between Vlad and Danny was amazing. It's really quite funny how, no matter how many times they fight, I never get tired of it, that's how well you write it! It's just so amusing how Danny, though losing physically to Vlad, still somehow ends up winning, even with the beating he takes (I feel sorry for Danny though, all those bruises piling up must hurt...).

...And 23!

Ah ha, Vlad cut off Danny's internet access! So funny, yet so horrible! How could he? Doesn't he understand how... vital internet connection is to today's youth? I wouldn't be able to survive without mine! XD Yes Danny! Destroy more of Vladdy's house! And that ugly Packer's decoration! XDD

Skulker amuses me, you know. Somehow he manages to give Vlad advice, not get his head chopped off, work for Vlad, not get his head chopped off, bring out Vlad's concern for Danny with his 'I'll put you pelt at the foot of my bed' comments and not get his head chopped off! It's amazing! ;P

Oh and I'm not even going to comment on the laxatives thing... I will tell you that I laughed out loud though... loudly XDD And I loved the image of Danny sitting on the banister swinging his legs, grinning mischievously at an irate Vlad, so cute!

Hm... Danny's powers are acting up again? Ooh, I smell plot advancement! Whatever could this mean? I hope the answer comes in the next 3 chapters 'cause I can't wait to find out!

...And Chapter 26

Not much to say on this chapter really. However I will say I read it with one eye closed, feeling completely embarrassed by Danny's actions while just reading it. This, while uncomfortable, means you managed to draw me right in emotionally. It's great how you manage to pull out so many different emotions and aspects to this story, and that it's not all one genre.

And being the morbid Danny fan I am, I enjoyed the Danny-tourture (Oh how we are so evil to our favorites _'). Isn't anyone going to let him out of the cage?... You know, I'm really glad there's another chapter after this XD

...25 (already? No! The end is nigh!)

Danny is slo-o-owly loosing it. It's no surprise, really, but it's amazing how you've made the process so gradual. I know, looking at the word count, that it took a lot of time, but the way you did it is very realistic and believable. I like how Danny's mental degeneration is not too fast (so it would be out of character) or too slow (to bore the reader). Also, I think spending a night in that cage would unhinge just about anyone O.O

It's funny though, that even with as mad as Vlad is, he's still not training at the level which Skulker and the others put Danny in.. guess that just shows how much of a beating the little guy can take, huh ;P

And yep, he's a mess. Having dreams, powers acting up, Vlad and now Niane adding more issues into the mix. Honestly, Vlad... nice? Where's THIS coming form?

The dream about meeting Tucker and Sam was also cute. There was something cliche about it, but a little cliche is always fun, a little nostalgic actually (you know Danny Phantom doesn't play where I am anymore! It's a travesty! They never even showed Phantom Planet here, I had to go find it off the net!).

Chapter 28




(Ok... needs a few more moments here to gather herself...)


(Ok... not quite there yet)


(takes deep breath)


(lets breath out)

...Ok... I think I'm ready well...

I... you... You've somehow managed to knock me utterly, completely and totally speechless. I have no words for how awesome that chapter was. My heart was pounding while I read it and I was utterly dead to the world until I'd finished the chapter.

...Whoa, I think THIS, right here, is your best chapter yet. You really must have enjoyed writing this. I mean, everything flowed so nicely and it was really... yeah... wow.

And I'm not exaggerating here, it really was a magnificently written chapter, one of the best I've ever read for ANY fiction (and I've read way too many fanfics XD).

The emotions were conveyed perfectly. I felt Danny's fear, his helplessness and desperation. And I even felt Vlad's concern and confusion. Danny's final breakdown was heartbreaking. Though I can't help but think 'SEE VLAD! He's only a KID! He's 14! YOU'RE the adult! Look at what you've done!' I bet Vlad never, ever saw himself as an abusive person before (Goodness, it's a very good thing he's not a parent! Imagine how he would treat his children! O.O)

Now, I'm sure you've gotten many, many comments on how amazingly written Danny and Vlad's scenes were (you're really getting into their characters! I mean, since the beginning of the story have they become like second nature to you? Or at least, familiar in the way that you've analyzed them so closely that they're easier to pull out now...?). So I'm just going to draw attention to the Jazz scene in the middle.

Once again, I like your Jazz. I really do think that, out of everyone, she's going to be the one that finds Danny. She never gave up hope of him being alive and she really DOES know him very well... I wonder if/when she'll figure out Vlad's nefarious deeds? And will it be too late? Poor Danny's had about as much of this as he can take (After this story is over Danny's so not going to be very happy with you XDD).

Again, there are no words to describe the amazingness of this chapter, the detail is very well done, the characterization is consistent and realistic and the pace is perfect. I honestly never wanted this chapter to end (of course, I just KNEW there was going to be a cliffy, so that made it worse!). The only thing I can say is that I'm still wondering what they all are wearing XD!

Alrighty... I think that this review has exceeded any possibly reasonable length. I know you said you don't mind long reviews and I really hope you don't mind this one 'cause I didn't want to shorten it. I thought it was only fair to include all my thoughts, and I just wrote as I read, so... yeah... please don't be scared away XD I'll end it right here, right after saying, once again how much I loved the last chapter (I liked the others too, but this one completely blew me away) and please, please update soon! (even if you just updated, like, two days ago XP).


SaphireDragon11 chapter 28 . 4/27/2008
Oh. My. God. I never thought it was possible for a story to get so emotionally tense! What I felt I could compare with the end of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows! That was amazing! Not only did I cry, but my heart skipped beats at several different momments, my limbs shook, and I had to look away from the screen several times in order to keep myself under control! Intensness! And that last bit when Danny broke down; I read it FIVE TIMES OVER! -faints-
DPcrazy chapter 28 . 4/27/2008
Oh my...holy...what That was something. I have no idea what to say that would be great enough for this chapter. Nothing expressed by mere words could relay my pure ecstacy. Congradulations, you are one of the only three people who have ever rendered me totally speechless.
Ali-Apple chapter 28 . 4/27/2008
Gosh this is still my favorite story! You have everything to make a good story a great story. There was so much suspese and everything else i was in shock! Well, please update soon and keep up the good work! :)
Queen S of Randomness 016 chapter 28 . 4/27/2008
hey! another awesome job with another awesome chapter! i hope u update soon! -
miikkuli chapter 28 . 4/27/2008
You are breaking my heart, monster! I loved this, but you better have a good ending!
JH24 chapter 27 . 4/27/2008
So Danny is finally out of the cage. I'm happy that he's free again but I am becoming increasingly more worried about his condition. I really wonder what is happening to him. Maybe it has to do with his mental condition, all the stress he's experiencing might push his body too far, or maybe it is something else. I really enjoy speculating about your story of what might happen.

I really enjoyed this chapter, which is very well written and having some awesome conversations. I loved the entire scene between Niane and Danny, I have been looking forward to see them interacting with each other. Niane bringing Danny something to eat was very kind of her. Danny standing up for Niane when Skulker intervened was also very nice to see, as well as his consideration to not ask anything else to the girl out of fear of yelling again.

The last part is another favorite scene of this chapter. I loved the dream Danny had and how Danny, Tucker and Sam became friends. Lovely and very enjoyable scene.

Awesome work, my friend. So I have to strap my seatbelts for the next chapter, heh? If you're saying that then I know the next one will be really special, I can't wait to read it! I'm looking forward to it!

DreamaDove93 chapter 28 . 4/27/2008
What had he done?

And THATs your Cue Clockwork! Go tell plasmius whats wrong with danny, or better yet FROSTBITE get your butt over there to help danny and tell vlad he's got hidden Ice powers, or Vlad be a good uncle and get danny into a ghost hospital to have doctors check him and see whats going on, Do something, get him out of tthat mad house and into the ghost zone, danny the way he is probably can't go back home either, he'll destroy about everything, ok then try tom get him there Vlad, play good caretaker and let them him go home... maybe not


jeez how wicked has this becomed? I'm mad at danny now _
truephan chapter 28 . 4/27/2008
WOW! I AM BLOWN AWAY! I don't think I'll be able to speak or type for a while...give me a minute to recover, will ya?...darn, not yet...STILL STUNNED HERE...MAN, I AM SO BLOWN AWAY! What a powerful, intense chappie, pearl, and it is DEFINITELY one of my personal fav chappies so far! So intense and so full of action, which, you know, I LOVE! I really thought that Danny was going crazy and didn't realize it until much later that he was dreaming...or was he?

My heart just melted for Danny during this ENTIRE chapter! I knew he was coming to a breaking point (aptly named chapter, BTW!) and, MAN, you made that ROARINGLY LOUD and CLEAR! I really thought that this was Armageddon and maybe Vlad AND DEFINITELY the HOUSE were going to get it! In fact, I think the HOUSE knew all along that this was the breaking point! LOL!

And now, I'm still worried about Danny! Has he been broken? Has Vlad finally driven him mad? And what about this new phenomenon that Danny is experiencing? Is this going to be a new power? I HOPE he's NOT going to turn into evil Dan after all, IS HE? PLEASE SAY NO!

And I thought I had no more emotion to emote with this story! I've already been through the wringer and now I'm getting placed on the rack!

Then there is another thing...What is wrong with Jack and Maddie? I just realized that little scene with them and how Jazz noticed and reacted with it. Are they feeling the angst, too? I'm not surprised, since their kids are in such peril! Hope they are able to depend on each other and get through it all. I really like them as a couple and parents...even if they're quirky! I think that's what makes them interesting! Back to Jazz, I hope she fully recovers and that those nasty nanobots are somehow siphoned out of her! Maybe Maddie and Jack will be able to find a way!

My gosh, what else can I say about this PERFECT chapter? I KNOW! I just turned to the next page in this story and found...that there is NO OTHER PAGE-YET! ARRGH! How will I be able to last to the next chapter? Will pearl's muse torture us more and make us wait too long? I hope not, or else all us tortured readers WILL blow his house down! Can't wait for the next chapter! GREAT, AWESOME, BLOWN AWAY job! truephan
Nylah chapter 28 . 4/27/2008
Wow. That was... wow. *stares at screen open mouthed*


Um, this doesn't happen often, but I'm at a loss as at what to say. So I'm going to take a stab at what's causing Danny's power to sky rocket.

Is it that he is away from his family? That their love for him and his love for them keeps him human? That, by taking them away from him, Vlad is making him more ghostly?

Or maybe it's Vlad's presence? Is it Danny's hate for the man that causes his ghost side to come out more?

It's probably something completely different, huh :)

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