|Reviews for Forlorn|
| Glaceon Giggles chapter 2 . 3/24/2008
Gaara! Yashamaru is a snufflefart if you ask me and he can take his jive white ass back to Turkeyville! :)
| Glaceon Giggles chapter 1 . 3/24/2008
I am going to leave a comment on every single one of these chappies and I have to say, you have turned me into a Haku fangirl! Huggles!
| Guest chapter 26 . 3/24/2008
Great chapter! The fights with the Sound Five turned out better here. Neji had help in his reliable teammate, Tenten! She came and saved his ass from being obliterated. Ok, he is wounded, but at least she came and got him to the hospital sooner than later. Damn that Kabuto...
My favorite part in the Neji vs Kidoumaru fight (in the beginning at least) was this:
Those words. They made him see faces. Faces that made his heart ache.
He remembered when he was younger, a new gennin— freshly assigned to his team. He was always bored with fighting Lee, always telling him that he’d never prevail. Tenten had agreed with him and Lee had always grown more adamant and hot-blooded about it.
But it changed. With time, Tenten had stopped agreeing. She and Lee had become friends and he didn’t understand it. She had talent when he had none. Neji had thought she was wasting her time.
And the day they fought back had confused him— shocked him. The same way Hinata had fought against him during the exam had slowly helped him realize that he had been pursuing something ethereal and unrealistic. He was hurting people and they were tired of it.
He got tired of it too, especially after Naruto had ripped his pride away to show him that his ways were erroneous.
At least then he had tried to take back the words he had said with his actions, but inside he could tell that his friends were still in pain, and he didn’t know how to fix it, ‘Will I ever know? Can I ever redeem myself in their eyes?’
Neji finally realizes the error of his ways! An improvement and character development on his part! Good! He's learning and growing, unlike Sasuke...
Go find your teammates, Sato-kun and Lee-kun!
Yes! Shika and Chouji save the day! Kiba too. Poor him and Akamaru...had to get stuck with runaway teammates...he definitely deserves better for all his loyalty and devotion and friendship with Sakura and Sasuke, I mean, come on!
NaruHina did well in dealing with Kimimaro at first, but they've already gone ahead after Haku and Sasuke. At least, Lee and Sato will be able to combine forces to fend off the last Kaguya, ne?
Poor Kimimaro, though, so devoted, like Haku-kun...he was sick for a long time, then he died in battle, just like that...I feel sorry for him. He could've been useful to the Leaf, made friends with Naruto & co. I mean, at least since Haku and him are from Water country originally, they could've gone together and tried to find any other survivors or "Clan people"...trained under Zabuza together and got to bond and know each other... But alas, their purposes were too different for them to converge. Perhaps in another fic, then...
Go Hinata! Get that traitorous Sound-nin! For Neji and Naruto! Haku-kun, I knew you wouldn't turn traitor! ::snuggles Haku plushie to death::
| Red Wings chapter 25 . 3/23/2008
Team 2 gets to meet Tsunade, oh yeah. I'm surprised she wasn't charmed by Haku (but then again, she said that both him and Gaara were more charming than Naruto). Oh well, she is much older and wiser than a young, fresh-out-of-the-Academy school girl kunoichi.
Oh, tension between Sasuke and Sakura. Things are not looking good. Not I can see them together, really...more like Sakura's desperate to keep him safe, since that is what she told him when they were young.
I didn't think Haku would be abducted, but then again, Orochi did bite him and put his Cursed Seal upon him. Sucks.
This time, Sasuke's not such a jerk and brought Sakura along with him. Wonder how long that'll last...
And then, Naru and Gaara-kun get the news! Haku-kun is gone, and so is Sasuke and Sakura! Off Gaara-kun goes to save his lady love. ::sighs dreamily::
Yay, Hinata goes with them on the Uchiha (slash Haruno and Haku) retrieval! Shika is too close-minded still though...they need all the help they can get!
Aw, Sakura, how can you reject Gaara just like that when he came for you! Loved how Gaara told her (in somewhat Naruto-ish preaching fashion) in his own brusque manner about real love. Despite the fact that he's never told her before...at least he's telling her now, right! It was so romantic the way he told her to just live, cuz that's all one can really ask of someone else (especially a loved one). Despite them being 12/13 year old genins, Gaara-kun sure is wise. _~ ::snuggles Gaara plushie::
| Red Wings chapter 24 . 3/23/2008
Ah, didn't think Gaara would want to visit Sasuke...without Sakura, that is. Shows how much he really cares for the cherry blossom. And he admits they were on a date! Thank you, Sato and Tama!
Naruto training as usual. Not much commentary there. However, he did better in fighting with Tsunade this time, which I liked.
Ah, more background on our most obscure kunoichi, Tenten! The names of her parents and where they come from...there's a lotta mystery here that's gonna affect the future, stirring up ominous portents in the present time. I find I'm being drawn into her story now...who is Tenten, really?
Great scene with Team Gai. Neji does need to realize that Lee and Tenten are his friends than just valuable assets to test his strength against. It's obvious that Tenten has feelings for him, and he's more connected with her than anyone else. For a prodigy, he sure is slow about some things, ne?
Oh, and we get more into detail with Sato-kun's life! Interesting, interesting. His father was from another hidden village. It boggles my mind to find that White Fang had another child besides Kakashi. ::is too canon-minded:: Ah well, this is your fic, and in this fic, Kakashi had a sister. Poor Sato, he's an orphan just like Naruto!
Great fight between Naruto and Kabuto! And now the Sannin fight begins!
| Red Wings chapter 23 . 3/23/2008
Rest in Peace, Sandaime-sama! You were one awesome Hokage, as well as grandfather to all the people of Konoha, despite the fact that most of them do not deserve your graciousness (except for Naruto, Gaara, Haku, rest of the Rookies, the people in Konoha who aren't total bastards).
Ah, Kisame and Itachi, introduction to Akatsuki and darker days ahead! Was expectin' them. ::nods::
Training trip for Naruto, scolding for Haku for using the cursed seal. Ah well.
Neji and Hinata are getting along! Well, Neji's attitude is better now. And she tells him her problem with her eyes. Slight NaruHina, though I wanted for a bit more. Aw...Sasuke is possessive of Sakura already? Or maybe I'm overanalyzing...he's just using her boyfriend as a measuring stick.
Well, it's good to see Naruto able to think on his feet and fend of Kisame and Itachi for a while! As usual, Sasuke gets powned by Itachi. The stupidity of the little brother to blindly rage at his brother just like that...at least Gaara was there to keep Sasuke from being slaughtered. If only for Sakura's sake. Heh, Gaara-kun is so cool! Favorite part:
Itachi swiped the sand from his cloak with only half a mind, “You are an enigma.”
The red haired boy decided to hear him out before crushing him, “How so?”
“For someone who hates Sasuke as desperately as you do…there really is no cause for you to save his life.” Itachi’s powers of observation were alarmingly accurate, but then again, Gaara’s loathing for Sasuke was rather easy to spot.
Gaara smirked inwardly, “If anyone is going to kill him— it’s me.”
::squeals in fangirlish delight:: Korin-san, you're the best!
Aw, Haku's given up on Tenten...I was hoping they'd get together. NejiTen is so common...but then again, Haku/Temari sounds interesting. You've yet to convert me...
| Red Wings chapter 22 . 3/23/2008
Grah! That Orochimaru is really one disgusting bastard! And using Yondaime like that...at least the Fourth had the strength to resist ol' Snake-Eye. Nice scene with the Rookies. Gaara introduces his siblings to his girl! So sweet! On to the next one!
| Red Wings chapter 21 . 3/23/2008
Poor Gaara-kun! Having to deal with a crazy, psychotic demon bent on wreaking havoc and destruction while his host is weakened is the worst. Gr...Kabuto! You'll get yours soon, just WAIT!
Go Hinata! She totally ruled as she saved her sister and her fellow clan member! Her father can't ignore her now. Plus, she knows Kage Bunshin! Take that Hyuuga clan!
Now, Sasuke and Naruto going after Gaara together is something I did not anticipate! Sasuke riding atop of Gamabunta as well. Whoa, Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu Gamayu Endan! Great combo, Sasuke and 'Bunta-sama!
As for Temari and Haku...points to Temari for giving Haku-kun a ride to where Gaara is. And Haku? AWESOME! He helped save the day with Suiton: Suishouha! Sure, he doesn't have the good amount of reserves it would take to execute that jutsu, but when he grows up, he will. ::counting on Zabuza to pump him up::
Liked the way you kept the part where Naruto punches Gaara awake.
Great chapter, Korin-san!
| Red Wings chapter 20 . 3/23/2008
Interesting match-up between Shikamaru and Tenten. Most fanfic authors stick to the usual Shika/Temari match. Of course, by virtue of his brilliant strategical mind, Shikamaru wins the match. Not that Tenten was a slouch. Using the Cow-Killer takes significant skill. At least she lost to an opponent who was worth her while.
Oh, Temari vs Haku! So that's the new jutsu that he stole prior to the finals...able to summon rain, huh? Nice foreshadowing, if you meant it at all! A certain Akatsuki member does this, albeit with greater skill than our Hyoton user, but Haku will get stronger in time, ne? And anyways, he wins the match! Haku-kun still relies heavily on his water jutsu. Needs to kick the habit. Nice technique in disable Temari, though. Fake death no jutsu, ha! Take that Zabuza! The ease with which Haku can take a man (or a woman) down is incomparable!
Ah, a tie between Sasuke and Lee! I couldn't have ended it better myself!
Gaara-kun! Didn't think Sato could do him in so much. Too bad Shukaku took over. Now for the Chase!
| Red Wings chapter 19 . 3/23/2008
The training commences. I loved the long NaruHina scene at the beginning. Getting pointers from Hinata on the Jyuuken (not getting beat by the Gentle Fist) is a smart thing to do, Naruto-kun! Favorite parts:
Hinata closed her eyes for a moment, wondering what to say. Perhaps now was the time to confide in him all of her secrets— after all, he had been the first person to actually listen— the first person to actually understand her feelings.
That as well as Hinata telling Naruto about Neji, how he understands the feeling of being an orphan. Hinata is still Hinata as usual, kind and compassionate. Ah, she asked the critical question. The Kyuubi is a secret to only but a few handful of Konoha inhabitants, as well as Haku and Gaara. I loved this part of Naruto's:
Naruto turned away from Hinata, taking a few moments to think the situation over, ‘If I do tell her, she’ll hate me for sure…and I don’t want that! I like that Hinata-chan likes me! I want her to!’ He scowled inwardly, ‘But she’ll never like the real me…the me that keeps that goddamn Fox locked up all the time!’
And this part as well:
‘She’d hate me if she knew...’ He assumed, his opinion was the same as it was before— where the subject had nearly been touched upon then. Naruto was beginning to find her Kekkei Genkai just as intrusive and problematic as much as it was helpful, and on occasion— adorable.
“Yeah, I’m…special like that.” Naruto waved the topic off with a half-hearted voice.
She smiled and his chest clenched painfully. That smile was causing him a lot of grief right now.
If he did share his secret with her, it would be safe— he knew she would never tell another living soul. The issue would be her horrified reaction, and the vanishing of the smile he was becoming as dependent on as drawing a breath.
If he lost that, he’d be nothing short of dead— where neither Gaara nor Haku would be able to resuscitate him.
::faints from the fluff, waff, angst and utter obvious romance::
Nice training scene with Team 7. What surprised me most was the Sakura/Sasuke segment. Him teaching her Katon jutsus? Didn't think he spare his precious time teaching anyone his precious jutsus, but in this case, Sakura is an exception. Since she's actually being a real ninja and striving to become strong, she's actually made him notice her. Was hoping that Kiba would last longer though. Great fight, Sakura and Sasuke! It's nice to see Sakura doing shit instead of staying back in the sidelines. She's very useful in this fic.
Hehe, loved the Haku/Sato scene! Stealing scrolls is the way to go, boys! And for pocky! Who wouldn't do it for pocky!
Ah, not fighting, Haku-kun and Gaara-kun! You guys are brothers!
Great match between Naruto and Neji. It's more action-packed than usual, since Naruto has more experience in summoning his toads. Oh, he used the Rasengan too! Go Naruto-kun! And of course, victory to Uzumaki Naruto! W00t!
Hehee, liked how you kept the part where Naruto smacks Shikamaru into the arena.
Sakura smirked at Ino beside her, “Is he always this graceful, Ino-pig?”
“Can it, Sakura!”
Loved that last part.
| Red Wings chapter 18 . 3/23/2008
The day after the preliminaries...Haku-kun is such a sweetheart! I love him to death! I liked the interactions between the different characters. Oh, Neji isn't #1 to Tenten! For the first time too. But hey, Hinata is just too much like Haku not to be liked (and loved!). Don't worry, Hinata, Naruto will get that stick out of Neji's ass next chapter! Poor Haku-kun though, being reprimanded by his sensei, but he has a point. The only thing keeping Haku from becoming like Sasuke is if he has greater willpower to fend it off. And yay! We get to see Gaara with his siblings! Haha, Sato-kun is so funny! But even he can be serious, I see. NaruHina goodness! ::sighs, and melts into a puddle of warm goo:: Nice fight between Neji and Tenten! Didn't think the Hyuuga prodigy would have to go Hakke Rokujyuuyon Shou on her though...says a lot about his skill, as well as Tenten's. Tenten is just awesome, though. She'll be able to kick Neji's ass soon. Gaara telling that his family has always been there for him and that he'll always be there for them was just so heartwarming! I really like this Gaara you guys have molded and taken out of his cold, Suna-nin canon self.
| Red Wings chapter 17 . 3/21/2008
Ah, loved the fights! Miosuke deserved to be crushed by Gaara! Exposing him like that...Temari and Kankurou's teammate has no shame. Ino and Temari, never saw that coming, but I knew that Temari would win. Shino vs Lee was interesting...didn't think that Shino would lose, but hey, Lee's underdeveloped chakra coils aren't much for Shino's Kikai bugs. At least now, Sato and Shino will be reconciled, right? Haku vs Zaku, hey no contest! I knew Haku would win, despite his handicap (damn you Orochimaru, damn you!). He's just that awesome. Sakura vs Tenten: Great beginning Sakura, but Tenten came out the winner in the end, though, it seems that Sakura's genjutsu encouraged Tenten to fight with her all. Maa...As usual, Neji is being an ass towards Hinata, though not with his usual cruelty. He actually does care about her. I expected that the winners were the usual canon, plus Tenten, Lee, and Sato.
| Red Wings chapter 16 . 3/21/2008
NO~ Haku-kun! In the hands of that snakey, transvestite Orochimaru? HELL NO! ::punches the air furiously::
Tenten's devotion to Neji is very endearing, and though I thought that Haku and her would've been an item, it's obvious that Tenten and Neji are gonna get together down the road. Neji does need to get a kick in the ass every now and then.
Poor Sato! Poor(er) Hinata! Discord amongst Team 8 is not what I expected. Too bad that Hinata has to deal with two guys that hate each other. It makes teamwork so much more difficult.
Oh! Gaara sees his siblings again! Can't say I like their new teammate though.
Sasuke got the Cursed Seal still (keeping to the canon, huh? but I'm not complaining about this). Kiba's down and out, and Sakura's the one who has to take care of them. Sheez, the girls have it rough...
Am very glad to see that Haku and Naruto are alright, though. Team 2 made it! Though, Haku should've told his sensei about the new development he's received courtesy of Orochimaru. Haku's supposed to be the good boy, but it seems he's becoming more and more deviant. Will you please develop a way to get rid of the Cursed Seal from him?
| Red Wings chapter 15 . 3/21/2008
Aw, Sakura's upset that she blabbed about her friends' abilities. But more like she's upset that she upset Gaara. I like that she's very considerate in this fic.
Gaara's telling Naruto about Hinata's crush on him! Mou...how could he? Naruto and Hinata will get together eventually!
Ah, Neji...he's facing hardship in the Hyuuga clan still. Now without the Cursed Seal that marks a Branch member, he's constantly at odds with the Bunke. I even like Neji in his fic. He'll be facing much more adversity since he's the heir of the clan, though. Much more is expected of him, and it won't be any picnic to actually lead the clan either.
Loved the NaruHina interactions here! Yay, they train together! And Naruto shows Hinata the Rasengan! And Hinata teaches him about her clan's fighting style, the Gentle Fist! And he teaches her Kage Bunshin! Er, doesn't that take a large amount of chakra, btw? Hinata has better control than Naruto, but as for reserves...
More spotlight on our favorite under-appreciated characters, Tenten and Lee (well, Lee isn't that much of an under-appreciated guy, after all, goes after Sasuke in the Retrieval Arc...)! And Tenten gets a new weapon! And trains with Lee so she can better handle it! Damn, I'm just reminded how badass Tenten is, as well as Lee. I happen to like these two better than Neji.
Sato learns the Chidori? Already? I like the scene with him and Tama. She's so encouraging. They'll have a good life together, if they get married, which they will, right? Usually I don't like OCs much, but these two are exceptions. I feel like they'll play an important part in the story later on...
Oh, Haku-kun, ganbatte! I can't wait for him to be able to kick-ass without usage of his bloodline and water techniques. Zabuza will cure that when they train together, yes?
Great mission with Team Gai! This shows just how strong they are, and a definitely powerful team. They are combat specialists, after all. And Tenten splitting that Rock-nin in half with the zanbatou? Heh, she doesn't need to pander after Tsunade, she's her own idol, SHANNARO!
Now the boys of Team 2 relaxing, talking about their girls is just KA-YOOT! And Gaara going to see Sakura...these two are definitely a couple, I swear. By the end of this fic, they will be.
And yes, the long awaited Chuunin exams have begun!
| Red Wings chapter 14 . 3/21/2008
Great chapter! Team 2 and Team 8 training together...::thinking NaruHina goodness:: Now we get to see what Sato is like!
Didn't think there'd be any character that was more wackier than Naruto, and what's more, he's Kakashi's nephew! He's an interesting OC, alright...and not one I object to. Who knew that Kakashi still had family? But hey, this is your fic, and you rule.
And YES! NaruHina goodness! Loved the way he defended Hinata from Sato, despite the fact that they were just training. My favorite part:
Naruto gave him another scowl, “What are you laughing at?”
The silver haired boy smirked, “Oh...nothing, it’s just that– I don’t think it’s very fair of you to just butt in like that Naruto-kun. Sunshine is my favorite sparring partner after all...” And as an after thought, ‘Why wouldn’t she be? Shino hates my ever-loving guts...’
“Stop calling her that! Her name is Hinata! Hi-na-ta, got it?” Naruto snapped, trying his best not to hit him again, “Why are you always so familiar with her anyway?”
“We’re just close friends, I guess...but you know what?” Sato lowered his voice and smirked maniacally, “I think she likes me!”
Naruto gagged spontaneously at the idea, before regaining his composure and asking with a fairly large amount of hostility, “Who, in their right mind, would like a person like you?”
“Hmm...” he smirked again, “I would!”
Sato's definitely won me over. One of the best OCs ever to be created.
Jiraiya teaching Naruto the Rasengan this early in the game...well, he is his sensei.
And ah! A break! The Tanabata festival! Gaara's gonna have a long night, what with Sakura dressed up. And whoa, another OC! This time, it's Gai's niece! And OH! She's affianced to Sato, Kakashi's nephew! Over a competition of eating ramen, too...hehehe. Loved the part where Chouji's dad said "Amateurs". LOL!
Haha, Sato's easily lured by pocky! I love Pocky! Especially the winter chocolate kinds...so good...
Haku stealing Hinata away was just great! Naruto's reaction was priceless. Clever the way he made use of Kage Bunshin, too! And oh, drama between Naruto and Gaara! So that's why Sasuke didn't dance. With Sakura following him, they can talk some place private, and he can get info on Team 2.