Reviews for Forlorn
YetAnotherAnon chapter 1 . 3/13/2010
Hi,

I found a two typos in this chapter when rereading this story:

"Hescampered (sic) afterthe (sic) man [...]"

Hope the next update of Harbinger won't be quite as far away :).
The Real Spartacus chapter 17 . 1/6/2010
Thank you so much! I'm glad you were able to take the time and go through each match, even if you did have you own reasons. I see quite a few authors who just skip matches and list the winners. This story is coming along quite nicely.
The Real Spartacus chapter 13 . 1/6/2010
Interesting challenges for Haku, and Garra going crazy was neat way of showing us that Shukaku is still there. I'm hoping Naruto will learn something that can help him in combat. Those days where all he used was Shadow Clones just bored me.
BlackHazes chapter 20 . 1/6/2010
Lee should've won that match from the start. But I must say, I lol'd when Sato summoned the first owl. Just imagining the sheer craziness of a summoned giant owl flopping around daylight in the middle of a fight is hilarious. Naruto's reaction was even funnier, lol.
InARealPickle chapter 30 . 9/3/2009
“Jounnin?” Sakura was elated to hear it, “So soon?”

“I would have promoted him if he had stayed here anyway,” Tsunade admitted, chuckling, “The same goes for Naruto and Haku—

REALLY?

Because she passed over all three of them for Chuunin with absolutely no reasonable explanation that I could discern.

At least in the manga it was obvious that the elders refused to promote Naruto so they could keep him under their thumbs.
InARealPickle chapter 17 . 9/2/2009
What exactly is a disapproving smile and why would the Hokage direct one at Jiraiya for teaching Naruto his father's jutsu?

It's pretty much Naruto's right of passage.

Also, I adore Sato. Honestly I do. He's a great OC. Which is why it was aggravating to see him go from justifiably angry at that prat Shino to treating the jerk like his best friend just because he lost a fight.

I was actually expecting Sato to cheer wholeheartedly for Lee. He is marrying into Gai's family after all and Lee is like Gai's son.
InARealPickle chapter 16 . 9/2/2009
Actually, you giving Haku the cursed seal pretty much ruined this story for me.

Why would Orochimaru have even bothered with Haku. He was out there looking for Sasuke. It's not like he even knew about Haku's Hyoton until mid way through the fight.

Just doesn't seem in character for Orochimaru and frankly, doesn't really seem to serve a purpose.
InARealPickle chapter 11 . 9/1/2009
You wouldn't think that Jiraiya, Naruto, Haku, and Gaara was be a funny combination. But, they're hilarious!
InARealPickle chapter 5 . 9/1/2009
This chapter was too cute.
Chorus of Shadows chapter 28 . 8/7/2009
This is one freaking good story!

I love the plot, and while I do not normally condone Sasuke bashing, it seems appropriate in this story. you somehow made Gaara totally pull it off O-o.

Though there is just one thing I found confusing in the story:

"Temari ripped apart an incoming fireball with a fierce wind generated by her fan."

Wasn't the fire jutsu supposed to swallow up the wind jutsu, making the fire one much stronger?

Aw well, you guys did say that this is an AU, but I just want to confirm if your recreating the elemental weaknesses.

I always thought lighting being strong to earth was stupid, hasn't Kishimoto EVER played pokemon? -.-

Aw well, can't wait to finish this and move on to the sequel, this is just one big pile of awesomeness! :D
alittlechunkofknowledge chapter 22 . 8/3/2009
the fourths name is minato namikaze
MistressWinowyll chapter 8 . 8/2/2009
I'm guessing Gaara, but that was one really nice moment between Sasuke and Sakura. You did an excellent job with putting the reader in the mindset of what was going through his head or any head of everyone there when they approached the Uchiha compound. Brilliant work. I look forward to reading your next chapter.

Your Mistress.
MistressWinowyll chapter 7 . 8/2/2009
Another amazing chapter. I'm so glad to see that Neji did not get the curse seal, him show affection to his cousin Hinata, and all the kids work so well together (and not get in trouble with the Hyuuga's), and everyone doing so well in total. Great job.

Your Mistress.
MistressWinowyll chapter 6 . 8/2/2009
I like this chapter. They are really acting their age and, hopefully, won't get into too much trouble come next chapter. I enjoy this story so much.

Your Mistress.
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