|Reviews for Transcript|
| WhyMustIWrite chapter 1 . 4/6/2013
I love how you tackled this challenge. Using the droid's pov made for an interesting twist, and you still were able to convey emotion in a poignant way. I love the running theme of the muja muffins. Also, Obi Wan is such a sixteen year old! The argument was perversely fun to watch, particularly when he turned the sharpness toward himself: "Tell me all the things that are wrong with me. I know there are many ." But in the end you show the fierce caring that underlies their relationship.
| Laws of Chaos chapter 1 . 3/1/2011
*Smile of Delight* ! -
This is perhaps one of the cutest stories I have read in an inordinately long time, and you did an incredible job on showing the emotions in the scene while having the POV be from a droid who literally can't feel emotions. I LOVED the part with the muja berry muffins - the fact that you ran with it the way you did all the way through from the beginning with Obi-Wan complaining about them to the end with Obi-Wan saying he'd eat them every day so long as it was Qui-Gon who made them. *happy sigh* You wove this small little thread throughout the entire story, and it just made the dialogue so much more realistic.
Also, my two favorite lines/scenes in the story:
"6565 (voice nearly inaudible): If I had listened to you, you would be dead.
(4.3 minutes of silence. Prisoner 6564 turned his back to the wall and slid down to sit on the floor. Facial expression indicated shock.)"
Can I just say "wow"? Obi-Wan's emotions and Qui-Gon's accompanying response were simply amazing!
Also, the scene where Obi-Wan is finally fading and Qui-Gon realizes that he's injured? Pure genius! I'm a little in awe of how realistic you managed to get the characterization - it flows perfectly and it isn't stilted in the slightest!
| CosmicEssence chapter 1 . 7/1/2010
thats some specific challenge outline! Done well especially with that droid i think and the interplay betwen them
| StarWarsGal12 chapter 1 . 2/22/2010
You know, I've never read a story like this. But I really liked it! I had a lot of fun coming up with the ending. It wasn't hard, it had a great beginning. :-)
| Templa Otmena chapter 1 . 8/3/2009
I really enjoyed this :)
Thank-you for sharing.
| ThorinKiliandFili4ever chapter 1 . 3/25/2009
A great story. Very funny.
| JoriWinter chapter 1 . 3/9/2009
Enjoyed the muffins and kitties and necessary Jedi upgrades. I do believe you've got their characters spot on, too. ;)
| Osprey Eamon chapter 1 . 1/31/2009
You must have a real talent for writing to challenges.
Love the way you've done the droid's perspective; the transcript being attached to number labels, the queries and requests for more information and the notes on their behaviour.
The conversation between Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan is fantastic too. I like the references to things outside their situation, the sand cats and muja muffins, which make it seem more real and the character interaction is spot on.
Wonderful short story. Really really good.
| Justin chapter 1 . 10/22/2006
Nice. I liked it.
| Sci F.I. Warper chapter 1 . 6/16/2006
Oh, I love this. Brilliant!
| Celadrian chapter 1 . 5/29/2006
Adorable, funny, and completely sweet. Only you could pull off the perfect combination of those qualities in a relatively short one-shot story.
"Upgrade of data about Jedi needed immediately." Hilarious!
And kudos to your darer, Mousche. Nicely creative. I especially enjoyed hearing the story from the droid's point of view. That was certainly new, and definitely interesting.
Keep writing! I'm back to checking on you regularly again... Don't worry, that wasn't intended to sound like a threat.
| ally127 chapter 1 . 5/13/2006
I liked it! :) loved the drama.
| PeechTao chapter 1 . 5/11/2006
How very good! You did quite well on the dare I imagine! I like the keeping track of each second and the way movement is described. Very well done!
| i luv ewansmile chapter 1 . 5/10/2006
Ooh this story sounds really wicked. Very suhweet idea of writing. My only plea is for you or someone to puhlease, puhlease continue it! This story is here is worth the while, a piece of coal ready to be made into a diamond, please continue.
| Obiwanfan chapter 1 . 5/8/2006
Good fic! I liked it a lot. I hope you've done more of those challenges...i'm gonna have to go check and see what else you've written...good job!